Look and Learn

[backbreaker]

Normally I don't mind giving advice to other people, since I have been though alot and I am happy to give back but now I was just put in a pidicument that alot of people get put in that I seem to read and don't know what to do abou tit, or handle it the wrong way.

this is what happened...

I haven't answered my phone... for ANYONE, the last week... I'm a professional gambler (horse racing) and the biggest day in horse racing is coming up next saturday.. bigger days, bigger mutual pools, bigger mutual pools= I can pretty much name my own price on how much I want to make... so I have been handicapping my ass off to make it a great day.. if all goes well I will not work for 2 weeks after that.

anyway, I sent this girl

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ur_hacked03/detail?.dir=8c12&.dnm=c73f.jpg&.src=ph

(on right)

a message via email, ,saying HI and that I would call her when I get some time next week, and sorry I couln't make time to see you, Breeders Cup is coming up, have to make money, blah blah, blah.

So she sends me the following email today:

umm... who are you? what do you want? you must of written the wrong email address.


I don't have a FRIEND by your name!

My friends actually call me and want to hear from me.

You know I have alot of guys calling me right now trying to hook up with me right?


Bye Loner

Because I have known her for almost 10 years, and I know she has legit......hum....daddy issues.... I try to be easy on her usually... but I see some AFC or AFC's have gotten her in Princess mode, so I send her this email.

You know what, I'm going to be serious for a second with you, because someone needs to be...

You need to pull whatever it is out of your ass and stop being so damn stuck on yourself.

Even when you "Joke" around, your undertones are real... I'm not dumb.

What's Really Sad is that you should know me well enough to know that you aren't fooling anyone, at least not me.

Stop Extraverting your self esteem issues onto other people. It's not cute in the least bit.

I, at least try to be very respectful towards you, even when I am joking around.. there is a fine line that I know I can't cross with you, as I could say.. Bradley because Bradley is more thick Skinned then you are. Becuase of that, Bradley has free reign to say whatever the hell he wants about me (and he does, you need to be around when we start talking about each other)

You on the other hand, say things, that you know I'm not going to respond to, not because I am scared of you (please), but because I know you have enough issues as it is (not saying you are on the level of say, Beth, but you have issues nevertheless) And everyone has problems, that's not the point, no one's perfect.

Who in the hell are you trying to impress by saying guys are calling you ? You don't think a) I know this already, and b) that I actually give a damn?

I could very, very easily hurt your feelings by saying mean things about you.. but not only do I not want to (what for... you haven't done anything wrong and we are very cool, that would be stupid)), that's just plain mean and immature for me to stoop to that level. The point is, faults as you may have, you TRY to improve, and no one in their right mind should knock anyone for trying to improve, no matter what their current situtation is like.

Here I am, writing you an email, just to say HI...as I do from time to time, and this is the freaking response I get?

Ovbiously I did write the wrong email address, I must have for the last couple of weeks, because you have officically become a "princess" and I dont' deal with princesses.


I am not mad at you... you have to do alot more than say a couple of lines of negative undertones to get to me, but someone needs to let you know that you are grown, because ovbiusly no one is and you need to act like a damn adult. Yes, I joke around with you AT TIMES, but even THEN I don't go overboard, that you have to admit.

I don't call you because I am working, not because I don't want to see you. Stop acting, I take my work seriously and (unlike every other guy you dated or did whatever with) I'm not going to make time for you because you called.. There is a time for work, and a time for play.. right now it's work.. Id on't know what you don't understad about that.

Rant mode off..

And no, at this point I am not going to stoop down to your level and joke around with you because you are too immature to joke around

There.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by backbreaker
You know what, I'm going to be serious for a second with you, because someone needs to be...

You need to pull whatever it is out of your ass and stop being so damn stuck on yourself.

Even when you "Joke" around, your undertones are real... I'm not dumb.

What's Really Sad is that you should know me well enough to know that you aren't fooling anyone, at least not me.

Stop Extraverting your self esteem issues onto other people. It's not cute in the least bit.

I, at least try to be very respectful towards you, even when I am joking around.. there is a fine line that I know I can't cross with you, as I could say.. Bradley because Bradley is more thick Skinned then you are. Becuase of that, Bradley has free reign to say whatever the hell he wants about me (and he does, you need to be around when we start talking about each other)

You on the other hand, say things, that you know I'm not going to respond to, not because I am scared of you (please), but because I know you have enough issues as it is (not saying you are on the level of say, Beth, but you have issues nevertheless) And everyone has problems, that's not the point, no one's perfect.

Who in the hell are you trying to impress by saying guys are calling you ? You don't think a) I know this already, and b) that I actually give a damn?

I could very, very easily hurt your feelings by saying mean things about you.. but not only do I not want to (what for... you haven't done anything wrong and we are very cool, that would be stupid)), that's just plain mean and immature for me to stoop to that level. The point is, faults as you may have, you TRY to improve, and no one in their right mind should knock anyone for trying to improve, no matter what their current situtation is like.

Here I am, writing you an email, just to say HI...as I do from time to time, and this is the freaking response I get?

Ovbiously I did write the wrong email address, I must have for the last couple of weeks, because you have officically become a "princess" and I dont' deal with princesses.


I am not mad at you... you have to do alot more than say a couple of lines of negative undertones to get to me, but someone needs to let you know that you are grown, because ovbiusly no one is and you need to act like a damn adult. Yes, I joke around with you AT TIMES, but even THEN I don't go overboard, that you have to admit.

I don't call you because I am working, not because I don't want to see you. Stop acting, I take my work seriously and (unlike every other guy you dated or did whatever with) I'm not going to make time for you because you called.. There is a time for work, and a time for play.. right now it's work.. Id on't know what you don't understad about that.

Rant mode off..

And no, at this point I am not going to stoop down to your level and joke around with you because you are too immature to joke around

That email was stright and to the point! good job! any guy can see the logic you put into it but then again you are not dealing with a guy right?? You are dealing with a chick and in my book this sort of e-mail not only is pointless but will not get the message across.

Her email was a sh1t test to get under your skin and the fact you send her an email telling her what she is all about, is basically stooping down to her level. She will read this e-mail and say to herself "Ha he thinks I am the one with the problems now?? well screw him!"- expect bad blood.

I would not even respond to her email or send her email. Every thing should have been done in person. Your emotions should be always constant, nothing should phase you. If the b1tch wants to make some noise and rattle your cage, then walk away like nothing happen and let that little episode blow over by itself or go sarge other chicks with less problems. One more thing, your girl doesn't need to know every little detail what you will be doing. A simple (telling her in person) "I am going out of town for business, I will be back next week" IS GOOD ENOUGH.

 

[backbreaker]

While I holeheartly agree with what you said.. this IS a little different...

This isn't me trying to Bang her and keep her IL up... this is me dealing with a Friend that i have known for 10 years, that has pushed a button one to many times.

this isn't the first time she has done this...

And I won't be seeing her or anyone for at least another week and a half, so I wanted to get it off my chest now while I am still thinking about it.

And I wasn't going to call her because If I do she will start calling me again, which Id on't want... in this case the convience of email is necessary, as I cannot be interupted.

Your Right, it was a **** test... but the thing is... I honestly DON'T GIVE A DAMN if I passed this girls "**** test", ,because I have options.. the fact that she is giving me **** tests is turning me off and it not an attractive teat when I have other, just as deserible women that I can call when I get the chance.

you shouldn't be playing **** test with somone you have known for most of your teenage/adult life, and that's my entire point

 

[RaWBLooD]

i agree wit above post, you got all crazy cause some girl is an INDEPENDANT WOMAN :crackup: and wants to play games, play your own game, but dont ***** at her.:woo:

 

[backbreaker]

BTW, the worse thingyou can do in that case, is wait and not sayin anything... because a) you want to say something and you need to say something, ,because she crossed aline, and you have to let her know what line she crossed..

and b) no matter what you "think", if you don't respond, she thinks she has the upper hand... it's really a more damned if you do, damned ify ou don't, because I do see where you are coming from.. NO matter how much I act like it didn't p hase me, the next time I see her and I haven't said anything aobut the email, in her mind she WON that **** test

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by backbreaker
This isn't me trying to Bang her and keep her IL up... this is me dealing with a Friend that i have known for 10 years, that has pushed a button one to many times

this isn't the first time she has done this...

That is what happens with close "platonic" friendship with women. Somewhere down the road one of you will get confused and act as if the two of you are in a relationship and forget boundries and obligations. It usually rears its ugly head during a disagreements, hance your dilemma.

Originally posted by backbreaker
BTW, the worse thingyou can do in that case, is wait and not sayin anything... because a) you want to say something and you need to say something, ,because she crossed aline, and you have to let her know what line she crossed..

and b) no matter what you "think", if you don't respond, she thinks she has the upper hand... it's really a more damned if you do, damned ify ou don't, because I do see where you are coming from.. NO matter how much I act like it didn't p hase me, the next time I see her and I haven't said anything aobut the email, in her mind she WON that **** test

You sound like you in a relationship with this girl and the funny thing about it, you are not. If friends step out of line, doesn't matter a guy or a girl, then you either tell them stright up that this is not cool, or you create a little distance between the two of you so the other party can take care of their "sh1t" and smarten up. Hopefully they will learn from that and the avoidance and the distance which you display towards them is a result of their bad behaviour. If they don't learn, keep creating the distance until the two of you will naturally end up becoming a complete strangers. If friends create too much sh1t it means you outgrew each other and its time to move on. You can't force something in the present because of the past.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by DJDamage
That is what happens with close "platonic" friendship with women. Somewhere down the road one of you will get confused and act as if the two of you are in a relationship and forget boundries and obligations. It usually rears its ugly head during a disagreements, hance your dilemma.





You sound like you in a relationship with this girl and the funny thing about it, you are not. If friends step out of line, doesn't matter a guy or a girl, then you either tell them stright up that this is not cool, or you create a little distance between the two of you so the other party can take care of their "sh1t" and smarten up. Hopefully they will learn from that and the avoidance and the distance which you display towards them is a result of their bad behaviour. If they don't learn, keep creating the distance until the two of you will naturally end up becoming a complete strangers. If friends create too much sh1t it means you outgrew each other and its time to move on. You can't force something in the present because of the past.

lol, no we ARE in a relaitonship.. we have been ****ing for the last 3 months... I thought I told you that...

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by backbreaker
lol, no we ARE in a relaitonship.. we have been ****ing for the last 3 months... I thought I told you that...

lol,now that I think about it, that email would have sucked ass if I wasn't already having sex with her.

 

[manuva]

Awesome email.

 

[wowiehowie]

Who are the little f@gs that she's with? Look like AFc's to me.

 

[backbreaker]

The guy in the blue shirt is the BF she had before I came in the picture... pretty AFC, you are right (sad when you look like an
AFC)... Turns out he had a problem....humm... proforming under pressure....let's just leave it at that...

The other guy is one of his friends, I have no idea who he is.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by backbreaker
lol, no we ARE in a relaitonship.. we have been ****ing for the last 3 months... I thought I told you that...

Nope. You said:

Originally posted by backbreaker
This isn't me trying to Bang her and keep her IL up... this is me dealing with a Friend that i have known for 10 years, that has pushed a button one to many times.

Try to be more clear in your posts next time. So what I am getting is that this is a friend that has turned to a fvckbuddy/dating and is not yet your girlfriend/exculsive?

If thats the case if a girl I am with ever told me the following line:

"You know I have alot of guys calling me right now trying to hook up with me right?"

I would tell her calmly (in person or on the phone): "Good then go hook up with them!" and then walk away/hang up. This method breaks her sh1t test and reverses it. Now if this wasn't a sh1t test you would never hear from her again and you would know she was serious and that would automatically disqualify her for being a good LTR material. If this was a sh1t test then she will be the one calling and beging you for forgiveness. Check-Mate.

 

[backbreaker]

I see what you thought I said... at that time, what I meant that even though we were ... ****ing, me writing that letter wasn't me trying to keep her IL up, it was me, as a friend, telling her to get a grip.

I mean, her and I aren't exclusive... she knows I have sex with other women...s he doesn't like it, but she understands what's up and why I do what I do.. I mean, she knew I slept with alot of women before her, I just can't cut off the switch and be someone I am not.. she also knows that if her and I start dating I would stop, but we AREN'T, I know she CAN have sex with other men... she hasn't but I wouldn't care of she did... how could i?

When it's all said and done, me and her are pretty cool, and whatever happens between her and I won't ruin our friendship.

And all of the guys calling her are all AFC's who she only keeps around for when she is bored, she doesn't want them and I know she doesn't want them.

I have told her, if her and I end up dating, that's great... If another guy comes along that you want to date, just let me know, because that's why we aren't dating... at least yet... even though I have been good friends with her forever, even back then I told her, I never asked her to DATE me, I don't know her on "that level", if you catch my drift... right now we are still feeling each other out... I don't like to rush into anything.

My last GF and I had a period like that for about 4 months until I decided I would date her.. best thing in the world I could have done.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by backbreaker
I see what you thought I said... at that time, what I meant that even though we were ... ****ing, me writing that letter wasn't me trying to keep her IL up, it was me, as a friend, telling her to get a grip.

I mean, her and I aren't exclusive... she knows I have sex with other women...s he doesn't like it, but she understands what's up and why I do what I do.. I mean, she knew I slept with alot of women before her, I just can't cut off the switch and be someone I am not.. she also knows that if her and I start dating I would stop, but we AREN'T, I know she CAN have sex with other men... she hasn't but I wouldn't care of she did... how could i?

When it's all said and done, me and her are pretty cool, and whatever happens between her and I won't ruin our friendship.

And all of the guys calling her are all AFC's who she only keeps around for when she is bored, she doesn't want them and I know she doesn't want them.

I have told her, if her and I end up dating, that's great... If another guy comes along that you want to date, just let me know, because that's why we aren't dating... at least yet... even though I have been good friends with her forever, even back then I told her, I never asked her to DATE me, I don't know her on "that level", if you catch my drift... right now we are still feeling each other out... I don't like to rush into anything.

My last GF and I had a period like that for about 4 months until I decided I would date her.. best thing in the world I could have done.

Well that explains the sh1t test. When a woman becomes a man's fvck buddy, he has the upper hand of this relationship. There is no reason for him to date her, because he is already getting sex. Its just like when an AFC becomes a woman surrogate boyfriend and he does everything a boyfriend does for her, then there is no reason for her to have sex with him. In a normal relationship there is the exchange of you being the boyfriend, the protecter and provider and her supplying the sex for her to keep you around.

As a result Your Woman friend fvckbuddy just like on Seinfeld wants: THIS, THAT and THE OTHER. So far she is getting just THE OTHER (the sex) but she wants what she is giving for free to be translated to THIS AND THAT (relationship).

You would not be able to keep the sexual relationship for much longer unless you commit to her. She is already showing her frustrations that you are just using her for sex and she wants more.

 

[backbreaker]

me and her talk from time to time.. she knows that the only thing from stopping me from dating her, is her...

Can be a little needy, at times a little on the princess side... I told her if she can work on thoose things, I would be happy to date her, but until she proves to me she can change for the betterment of the relationship, things will stay as they are now... and i have no prolbems NOT ****ing her and just being friends... I was just fine with it for a while before this.

one advantage of being a friend before we started messing around, is I know not only how she thinks to a T... I know all of her prospects, if you even want to call them that.. and she knows that I mean what I say by saying that as good looking as you are, I have no problem at all taking it back to like it was.