Longtime friend sometime romantic

[Anatrinah]

Hello again guys!

Okay, I'm going to condense this story as much as possible. I've been friends with this woman for around two years now. When we first started out, we just hung out at school every now and again, but then she started studying at my house at night. Eventually, this lead to us hanging out after school pretty much everyday, and she began to watch movies with me and cuddle with me. Often, we would watch movies in my room by ourselves and she would rub her feet up against mine and lay on me. I never advanced, because she was in a relationship. However, I did tell her that I had feelings for her. As predicted, she said that she didn't feel the same way. We have remained friends, but she has stopped being physical with me. Recently, I was giving her a back rub while she was wearing a spaghetti shirt and I worked my way down to groping and rubbing her breasts. She jerked a few times, but she wasn't bothered by it. This went on for around ten minutes or so, and then I stopped and we began talking about everyday things again. Since then, I admitted to her once again that I still had feelings for her. She gave me the same response, and we have still remained friends. My question is this: Do I still have a shot at getting laid, and how should I go about it in the future? I honestly believe that she values our relationship a-lot (as do I), otherwise she wouldn't remain friends with me. However, I believe that sex would only increase our already special bond. Thanks in advance!

 

[gravityeyelids]

Think about it this way: girls normally don't cuddle with guys that are in the friend zone. They don't let guys who are in the friend zone massage their breasts.

She was probably giving you the opportunity to escalate to making out and more, which you should have taken. I realize it's hard because you feel like you're going to fvck up the relationship. But if you're physicallly attracted to her, you're basically obligated to escalate sexually.

Next time you are hanging out with her, work your way up to touching her, you can do the massage thing again or maybe a playful fight/wrestling. When you feel the moment is right, and you are close to her face and she is looking at you rather than turning her face away, kiss her. Just do it. Don't hesitate. If she is okay with the kiss, continue to kiss and make out with her, begin touching her....you know the rest. Do not stop escalating until she gives you a very clear "no" or "stop".

If she calls you out on it, simply explain to her that it's hard to be friends with her when you constantly want to rip her clothes off and fvck her (or some variation). She has to know you are willing to walk away.

 

[Anatrinah]

Thanks for the reply, Gravity! What would be the most efficient way of establishing kino? This sounds very naive, but as you hinted at, I just don't want to mess this up. I guess what I'm looking for is what would be some examples of "moves" that eventually move to making out?

 

[gravityeyelids]

the secret to kino is being subtle about it. Never draw attention to the fact that you are touching her or acknowledge it. When you are talking to her, feel free to touch her upper arm, etc.

Also it's a good idea to never....i guess plant your hand anywhere because it can get awkward. Almost like a brushing movement. You know how girls (especially when drunk) will place their hands on your chest or stomach or shoulders or arms briefly while talking to you? Almost as if they aren't aware of doing it (they usually arent)? It's like that.

The idea of kino is to communicate to her that you are a sexual creature, one who is comfortable being physical and touching girls as a part of your normal communication. This is extremely powerful because it communicates nonverbally to her that you are confident and sexual.

this might help you: http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001677.html

 

[Anatrinah]

Thanks for all of your help man! Really appreciate it!

 

[Huffman]

Also, don't talk about feelings (before sex at least). You were rubbing her breasts man, she decided to let you do that. She gave you explicit permission to touch her and you stopped! This is what was going on inside her head:
"Whoa he's touching my boobs... how did it come to this?... well ok I'll let him, but just a little... I'm not sure but excited at the same time... I wonder what he's going to do next... will he run his hands a bit lower?... will he try to feel my belly? my legs? or might he even try to *gasp* put his hand in my panties? I wonder what happens next... are we going to have sex?? will he try? I'm so excited! But I won't take the lead so it's not my fault... whatever happens happens... I can't wait to see what happens!"

AND THEN YOU STOPPED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FEEEEEEEEEELINGS

*BAM*
*DUH*

She is hit like a brick, like going from drunk to sober in a second, back to a harsh reality full of duties and responsibility!

Now her head is like this: "He has feelings... do I have feelings? Am I willing to commit to a relationship? What about my future? This is so complicated... I have to think hard before saying something wrong... panic!!"

Thinking and panic KILL the magic.

HINT: when she's jerking while you're touching her privates, that is good for both of you. Can't believe I'm writing this!

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

Yikes man.. I think you f****ed up royally here.

Another example of a woman not knowing what she wants. You NEVER, EVER tell a woman how you feel about her, you SHOW her. Believe me, I went down that road many times. I used it as a cop out because I was to afraid to get rejected and always put me in the friendzone, which I could never get out of.

I don't know if this situation can be salvaged. She probably sees you as chickens***t now (sorry to be harsh but its true). Don't ever be afraid to push the boundries. It shows confidence and you are a sexual man, not a gay guy friend.

Hope you learned your lesson.

 

[Anatrinah]

Thanks again for all of the replies guys! Huffman, I had a question about your post when you said, "when she's jerking while you're touching her privates, that is good for both of you. Can't believe I'm writing this!" Why is it a good thing? Doesn't that indicate that she is uncomfortable? Sorry being naive, but I just want to learn for the future.