Well, I basically hooked up with that girl who I've posted about before. We knew each other vaguely at uni when I was a major AFC, a few months ago I met her again for the first time in a couple of years, we started hanging out alot and since I'm not such a big AFC anymore we became pretty close.
At the weekend in a club we finally got it together. After I kissed her, we talked about how we liked each other and decided we'd give a relationship a shot. Then she came back to mine, when we get into my room, she says "this is where I start to get shy" I gave her a hug and said "hey, its me, don't worry" We sat down on my bed and then she starts talking about how she won't have sex with me tonight, she wants too and she will eventually, just not tonight, she doesn't seem to really be able to explain so I just say its ok, and then we start making out again.
She does sleep in my bed with me, but with some pyjamas on, she goes to sleep with her arm on my chest but its gone pretty quick when she rolls away from me onto her side.
I sleep really badly since my hangover kicks in in the middle of the night, but when she wakes up she seems really distant, she's not affectionate at all, and one of the first things she says is "this is where my homing beacon kicks in, its what I do, I'm sorry, ask any of my friends" When she eventually wakes up properly she says about how she just wants to be in her own place and relax and have a bath and get some clean clothes, and if she stays here she'll just end up sleeping on and off all day, I tell her she doesnt' have to go, we can go sunbathe in the garden or something, and she stops and considers it for a while. but then says she has to go. but she wants me to know shes not having second thoughts, she really wants this to work, etc. We decided we'll meet up again later in the week. In a way I was glad she went since I was horrendously hungover and felt like sh*t but I'd have prefered her not to be so keen.
In the evening she calls me, we chat for a bit, and she says, I just wanted to see how you are and apologises for going again, eventually I say "ok I'll talk to you later, bye" she replies, "bye, I love you" I hang up. I care about her alot, but I don't love her, I think maybe I've learnt not to let people get too close to me since I've been hurt in the past. I dunno she's complained about how she doesn't like it when guys get really serious with her quickly and she said to me "don't go getting all heavy with me" but she's really insecure and needs lots of compliments and stuff. Still I've avoided saying I love her or anything, my talk to her has been how I like her alot and we've been getting on really well and I think its worth us giving it a shot, I warned her as well how I've been hurt in the past and it'll take me a while to really get close to her.
So what's her problem, I know she likes me alot, after we got together she told me about how she's been talking to all her friends and family about me, how she'd been trying to get us together some how, "why do you think I was calling/messaging you so much etc." The way she got me to make a move was by talking about all the different things she wants in a bf which were all blatantly things that we have together, so I stopped her said, "it's me isn't it?" and kissed her. A week ago she told me she loved me (which she did a couple of times after we hooked up too) , which I told one of my friends about, and the night where me and this girl hooked up he was really drunk and went up to her and said "you'd better not mess tom about, if you're telling him you love him, you'd better f*cking mean it" to which she replied by repeatedly assuring him that she loved me and so on.
I think maybe she's trying to change her behaviour not to sleep with people so quickly, before we got together she talked about how when she likes people she just sleeps with them quickly and she wants to change that. The think that worries me more is that she does love me, but she's not getting as much sexual attraction as she wants and she'll decide we're better as friends.
Now, the other problem, I'm still a virgin. She doesn't know this, but even though I never knew her that well till recently she knew me in my AFC days, and knows I've never had a serious relationship, so she may well suspect. She's very hot, had 2 serious relationships and plenty of less serious so shes reasonably experienced. That night I was really annoyed since I was drunk enough that I felt really relaxed about the idea we were gonna have sex and not worried or anxious at all, but I wasn't so drunk that I wouldn't have been able to get it up. In the past when I've started to come close to opportunities of losing my virginity I've got too nervous and missed the opportunity. Now that I'm sober again I'm pretty unsure about it all, I know from reading stuff what sort of things I ought to do, but having never done them it still seems pretty daunting.
Part of me is tempted to ask her to teach me somehow, basically I'm a blank canvas sexually so she can train me up to do all the stuff that turns her on.
At the weekend in a club we finally got it together. After I kissed her, we talked about how we liked each other and decided we'd give a relationship a shot. Then she came back to mine, when we get into my room, she says "this is where I start to get shy" I gave her a hug and said "hey, its me, don't worry" We sat down on my bed and then she starts talking about how she won't have sex with me tonight, she wants too and she will eventually, just not tonight, she doesn't seem to really be able to explain so I just say its ok, and then we start making out again.
She does sleep in my bed with me, but with some pyjamas on, she goes to sleep with her arm on my chest but its gone pretty quick when she rolls away from me onto her side.
I sleep really badly since my hangover kicks in in the middle of the night, but when she wakes up she seems really distant, she's not affectionate at all, and one of the first things she says is "this is where my homing beacon kicks in, its what I do, I'm sorry, ask any of my friends" When she eventually wakes up properly she says about how she just wants to be in her own place and relax and have a bath and get some clean clothes, and if she stays here she'll just end up sleeping on and off all day, I tell her she doesnt' have to go, we can go sunbathe in the garden or something, and she stops and considers it for a while. but then says she has to go. but she wants me to know shes not having second thoughts, she really wants this to work, etc. We decided we'll meet up again later in the week. In a way I was glad she went since I was horrendously hungover and felt like sh*t but I'd have prefered her not to be so keen.
In the evening she calls me, we chat for a bit, and she says, I just wanted to see how you are and apologises for going again, eventually I say "ok I'll talk to you later, bye" she replies, "bye, I love you" I hang up. I care about her alot, but I don't love her, I think maybe I've learnt not to let people get too close to me since I've been hurt in the past. I dunno she's complained about how she doesn't like it when guys get really serious with her quickly and she said to me "don't go getting all heavy with me" but she's really insecure and needs lots of compliments and stuff. Still I've avoided saying I love her or anything, my talk to her has been how I like her alot and we've been getting on really well and I think its worth us giving it a shot, I warned her as well how I've been hurt in the past and it'll take me a while to really get close to her.
So what's her problem, I know she likes me alot, after we got together she told me about how she's been talking to all her friends and family about me, how she'd been trying to get us together some how, "why do you think I was calling/messaging you so much etc." The way she got me to make a move was by talking about all the different things she wants in a bf which were all blatantly things that we have together, so I stopped her said, "it's me isn't it?" and kissed her. A week ago she told me she loved me (which she did a couple of times after we hooked up too) , which I told one of my friends about, and the night where me and this girl hooked up he was really drunk and went up to her and said "you'd better not mess tom about, if you're telling him you love him, you'd better f*cking mean it" to which she replied by repeatedly assuring him that she loved me and so on.
I think maybe she's trying to change her behaviour not to sleep with people so quickly, before we got together she talked about how when she likes people she just sleeps with them quickly and she wants to change that. The think that worries me more is that she does love me, but she's not getting as much sexual attraction as she wants and she'll decide we're better as friends.
Now, the other problem, I'm still a virgin. She doesn't know this, but even though I never knew her that well till recently she knew me in my AFC days, and knows I've never had a serious relationship, so she may well suspect. She's very hot, had 2 serious relationships and plenty of less serious so shes reasonably experienced. That night I was really annoyed since I was drunk enough that I felt really relaxed about the idea we were gonna have sex and not worried or anxious at all, but I wasn't so drunk that I wouldn't have been able to get it up. In the past when I've started to come close to opportunities of losing my virginity I've got too nervous and missed the opportunity. Now that I'm sober again I'm pretty unsure about it all, I know from reading stuff what sort of things I ought to do, but having never done them it still seems pretty daunting.
Part of me is tempted to ask her to teach me somehow, basically I'm a blank canvas sexually so she can train me up to do all the stuff that turns her on.