Long term plan for success

[willtmail]

Starting from scratch:

1. Just learn how to be around attractive women without feeling pressure to do anything at all.

2. Be able to talk to them, like any other people. You can be sycophantic and kiss their asses or whatever. The idea is just to be able to talk to them and not immediately fall in love with them the moment they show interest in continuing a conversation.

3. Start being funny around them. I find that this is the easiest when you're already comfortable - hence, step 2.

4. Do the ****y/funny deal. At this point, the girls should fit into one of two things to you: (1) attracted to you, (2) unimportant.

Thoughts please.

 

[BrWnSugaMan]

Good plan but you are forgetting one essential component...

DETAILS!

How exactly do you plan on accomplishing number 1? It's not going to change overnight man.

How are you going to be able to talk to them like any other people if you couldn't do it before?

You can't just say, "I'm going to force myself." You need concrete ideas or you will fail.


Good Luck!

 

[willtmail]

BrWnSugaMan,

I agree that you need details, but I think those are pretty specific.

I'm not sure if you're asking me about how to do step 1 or step 2, so I'll throw out thoughts for both.

Step 1: I think this is pretty specific. Just be in a situation with attractive girls (say, classes or something) and not feeling anything about them. It's hard at first, but I'd say just practice concentrating on what you're doing. I might even venture that you not speak to her and not even think of what you might say to her.

This might lead down the slippery slope to always defaulting to inaction. But (if you don't act) if later on, you don't feel like "oh I should have said something," and you realize that the one chick is really not that important, then I think you have accomplished something.

Step 2: I think if you have really mastered step 1, then step 2 shouldn't be a big deal either. This is because if you really do not care if you talk to her or not, then you can just say "hi" or smile and leave it at that without that nagging feeling of "I should have done more."

I forgot to mention one other really important thing. Everyone says it, but it's easily forgotten in the heat of the moment (speaking from personal experience). And that is to have fun. At the very core of the interaction is that it is supposed to be enjoyable. Force yourself to smile, tell jokes to yourself if you have to - but do anything to try to get yourself into a good mood. It will help your game a thousand times over.

 

[willtmail]

Oh yeah, BrWnSugaMan, I also agree that it will not change overnight. But that's definitely not the idea. It's really all about baby steps, as Robert Kiyosaki puts it.