Long term effects of not having friends?

[SamTheHobit]

Just wondering what the long term effects of not having friends and family that you can truly talk to.

Insanity?
Chronic deppresion?
Lonliness?

 

[Strelok]

Columbine,Sodino and most of the shooters you hear on tv.

I don't think it's directly the lack of friends or family but more the conseguences of it,friends to a guy in many case are like holes in a pressure cooker that allow to release pressure.

 

[Rogue]

Having a good circle friends is a crucial aspect of life. One interesting side effect of chronic disconnection, as a way to cope with the loneliness, are pets. They will either have lots of pets (crazy cat ladies really are crazy) or anthropomorphize their pets (dressing them up, relying on their pet's reaction to someone to judge them, etc). I'm not sure if weird pets (snakes, ferrets, etc.) are a manifestation but I wouldn't be surprised.

 

[Drdeee]

I haven't had friends for a long time, until recently. I'd say 20 years, easy. I can say with certainty I didn't have pets nor wanted to dress one up, nor have I thought about shooting up a place.

What happens is you get unsure of yourself. You put yourself down and lower your value, and you isolate yourself even more because of that. You also create a role for yourself, but not in a direct sense. You begin to criticize others, making excuses that you are the way you are because others suck. It's a tough situation to get out of, but doable. All in all it makes you stronger and much more tolerable, albeit not socially smarter.

 

[Rogue]

Law 10: Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 18: Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

 

[BigJimbo]

Columbine,Sodino and most of the shooters you hear on tv.

I don't think it's directly the lack of friends or family but more the conseguences of it,friends to a guy in many case are like holes in a pressure cooker that allow to release pressure.

Huh, the Columbine shooters had friends. Go do some research.

http://www.davecullen.com/columbine.htm
Here is the best book on Columbine. Like everything else in America it was totally misunderstood. They definitely had a group of friends.

Shooting places up is largely a reflection of the false American Dream that I preach against. Yes, there are mass shootings in other cultures, however nothing like in America. Don't blame guns. There are guns all over the world. Brazil, Switzerland, Middle East, Russia, etc. are littered with guns. Yet, I don't hear of mass shootings in those places at the rate as in America. In Switzerland most homes have weapons, yet gun violence is extremely rare. And yes, Switzerland is superior to America. Low taxes, pro business, pro personal freedom, amazing infrastructure, independent, wealthy, safe, clean, efficient, etc. Just visit that place. Go from Zurich on a train through Zug onto Lugano. Nothing like it. Lugano is basically the best Italian city on the planet. Why? Because it is in Switzerland! Zug is one of the oddest towns on earth. Just a bunch of wealthy tax dodgers. Zurich is gorgeous. A perfect town for a winter honeymoon. Old Town is nestled on a hill. The train station is right below and is one of the nicest train stations around.

 

[PRMoon]

Not having friends is very self destructive. Unless you can find a way to be singularly social, depression and suicidal thoughts come very quickly. Studies have shown that people who are deep into alcoholism with whatever physical ailments that are upon them still on average outlive people with no social life. Being social isn't hard at all. Even hermits who, live the the mountains have one or two friends. We're social animals and when we get too far away from the pack we tend to go crazy.

 

[L B]

Long term effect on me: happiness.

Really depends on the type of person you are and what you're comfortable with. I got tired of hanging out with friends and family at a young age. Always did my thing when I was your age (school, gym, talking to girls).

 

[PuertoRicanGuitars]

Law 10: Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 18: Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

These sound awesome. Where did you get them?

 

[Rogue]

These sound awesome. Where did you get them?

http://www.amazon.com/48-Laws-Power-Robert-Greene/dp/0140280197

 

[The Pedantical]

Columbine,Sodino and most of the shooters you hear on tv.

I don't think it's directly the lack of friends or family but more the conseguences of it,friends to a guy in many case are like holes in a pressure cooker that allow to release pressure.

Those school shooters and such are just exceptions.

I grew up without friends and I was sexually abused by my mom. There was no contact ever with any of the family outside my parents and my parents were both socially isolated with no friends. By the time I started going to school I was bullied and beaten up daily and ended up being homeschooled. I'm now 27 and have at most had some acquaintances, no close friends and no date.

Doesn't make me a violent person at all. I'm still trying to better my life. It just makes me shy as ****.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Those school shooters and such are just exceptions.

I grew up without friends and I was sexually abused by my mom. There was no contact ever with any of the family outside my parents and my parents were both socially isolated with no friends. By the time I started going to school I was bullied and beaten up daily and ended up being homeschooled. I'm now 27 and have at most had some acquaintances, no close friends and no date.

Doesn't make me a violent person at all. I'm still trying to better my life. It just makes me shy as ****.

Sometimes you think your the only with a ****ty childhood.

 

[The Pedantical]

Hey you're the one who asked the question and I answered it. You don't get insane or depressed.

 

[synergy1]

I find a small subset of people actually thrive without friends. Its the personal interactions that are stressful for them, so isolation is healthy. The effect of not having friends on them would obviously differ from a relatively normal person.

I have had long periods of isolation and can attest to several acute changes. First of all, I forget how to be social. Suddenly answering the phone and talking to people is harder. After an even longer while, I start to get skiddish and nervous. I had a fire alarm go off during a winter, and I freaked out in my head. Over what? nothing, just happened. I wonder if its your brain creating stimulation where normally one would have people around to contribute to that.

Humans are meant to be social creatures. Our species has thrived in groups and our short history can be thanked by cooperation and teamwork. In a way, its a part of who we are. I'd say the long term affect of not having friends on a normal person is losing a bit of humanity.

 

[Onlyliveonce]

Strange as it may seem I have written my best screenplays during periods of isolation.

 

[~Vortex~]

Those school shooters and such are just exceptions.

I grew up without friends and I was sexually abused by my mom. There was no contact ever with any of the family outside my parents and my parents were both socially isolated with no friends. By the time I started going to school I was bullied and beaten up daily and ended up being homeschooled. I'm now 27 and have at most had some acquaintances, no close friends and no date.

Doesn't make me a violent person at all. I'm still trying to better my life. It just makes me shy as ****.

Sucks to hear than man! I wasn't abused sexually, but I had all kinds of disorders as a child. From obsessive compulsive disorder, to social anxiety disorder, to post traumtic stress disorder... but for some reason I had friends, probably because I was a crazy rich kid. I also used to be very shy as a kid, probably had to do with my father beating me.

Hang in there and commit yourself to self-improvement and I'm sure you'll conquer any obstacles that lie on your way! I know I did. This place is defenitely a good start, I especially like posts by Pook and Mr. Fingers, if you haven't checked them out yet.

 

[SamTheHobit]

The virgina tech maracre the guy didnt have friends? But then again apparantly he was a phycotic.

 

[Nygard]

No friends? It's a bad idea. I was on the brink of suicide a few years back because of that. Thankfully, I found friends who really appreciate me. You don't really see those kind of advantages when you're on the bottomless pit of despair.

-SDK

 

[elite7]

psychology today has an article about this being alone not good but hanging with the wrong group even worst .

 

[DJ Logic]

Surprised no one has called this yet

Maybe if you weren't such a hateful prick on a consistent basis, you'd have friends and wouldn't need to ask this question.

FWIW, it looks like the folks on this forum are the closest things you have to actual friends. You should be nicer to them.

:rock: