Long story... Bottomline, is she crazy? Or did I F it up? I hope its length doesn't bore you...
Background: Both of us are 23 years old, we met in a college engineering class, had a lot of similar interests, ended up going on a few dates and things slowly turned into a strong interest for eachother.
Before she left to go to europe, things weren't official, but we were definetly into eachother. She had stayed with me a few nights at my apt on campus, we had already kissed, etc. The night before she left, I drove to see her. We went to the peir, had a nice evening, cuddled, etc, and parted with what seemed like a full hour of her in tears, and me feeling too horrible to just leave her crying.
The next day she flew to Europe for her 3 month working abroad adventure. Over the course of the 3 months, we e-mail eachother often, nearly everyday, talking about everything and nothing. She telling me she misses me, and how she isn't used to missing someone. In a few of our e-mails, we both talked about wanting to pick things up where we left off, and her telling me it is hard to find a good thing and once you do you have to keep it close and continue to pursue it. She also tells me she wished she could have asked me to wait for her to return, but couldn't expect that of me. Her thinking "expecations lead to dissapointment" Smart girl... I wish I had known earlier. Of course, this girl being a 9+ in my book, I was waiting and hoping... First mistake, I know. Anyway... I recieved many postcards as well, telling me she wishes I was there with her to enjoy in all of her adventures and see all of the beautiful sights and how much she missed me. I only get 2 phone calls from her though. After the first one, she said she was surprised I answer, and was intimidated by calling me. By the end of the 3 months though, she was reassured (as was I) that we were both still really into eachother.
So, she gets back.... I don't even get a phone call or an e-mail letting me know she arrived safely. (lots of reasons, im sure) She called me a few days later, and left a message wishing me goodluck on a competition I was partaking in. I return her phone call, and got a hold of her. We chatted for a while, and the whole conversation seemed somewhat awkward and distant. We ended the convo agreeing we would meet up the next week when school started.
That Monday, I text messaged her to see when she was free, she replied to call her when I was out of class. No problem, called her and got a hold of her. I told her to come over to my apt to hang out. She came, and things were like they were before anything happened. Hands to ourselves, shyness, awkwardness, etc. I didn't move in to kiss her, either. It was late, and she had to leave to drive home (90 miles) for work early the next morning (5am). I told her we should do something when she was free, she agreed and said she was free friday or sat. Of course, she had class wed too. So being an AFC, I texted her in class on wed, just saying hey. Got a reply back. Sent a message asking her what she was doing that night. No reply. Sent another message later that night, telling her I missed her. Late that night, she messaged me telling me I was funny. She then called soon after. I asked if she was out of class (her late class ended at 9pm) and she said she got out early and went to get dessert with one of her friends (guy, of course). No biggie, she has no guy friends, and had told me all about this one. So I ask where she is now... already 40 miles away, half way home. Okay, cool. She still said she wanted to do something on friday or sat...
Friday mornining I was working on my car... I call her that afternoon to see what's up. She was doing homework and said she would call me back when she was done.
Saturday morning arrives, and I am frustrated. I tell myself I am just going to call her and tell her I am on my way and to expect me in an hour. Of course, as soon as I saw her, id lay on a huge kiss, and all would be well. Sadly, she never answered that morning... and my dumb@ss called another 4 times... She finally called back. I was upset, for no good reason... but she could tell. She said she was out running and her phone was in her car... I told her I was on my way down there... she said no. She still had homework to do. I was silent for a minute. And then she tells me she senses some hostility and was gonna go work on her homework. I politely said, okay, I'll talk to you later.... So... of course... that wasnt good enough for me. an hour later I text message her asking if she was really busy, or if she just didnt want to see me. She replied "I am really busy, and when I have free time, I have alot of areas to spend it... friends, family, homework, me... I dont think I can give you what you seem to need." Me being scared all to hell, reply with "i think you have me confused... these last few days I have just been trying to see where we stand... no expectations." And left it at that.
I didn't call her for 6 days... the following friday she called me on her way home from her last class. We chatted for 30 minutes or so as if nothing weird happened. Talked about school, her work, etc. Right when we ran out of things to talk about, I told her I may have to go, as I was recieving another phone call. Phone call ended. Somehow, I felt good about having some control finally.
This time, I could only wait 2 days to call her. I ended up calling on sunday evening, when I knew she would be off work. I got her voicemail, and left a pleasant message, asking how work went, and for to give me a call back sometime. That was yesterday. no word from her.
SO... how much trouble am I in? I know I screwed up a few times, obviously... but what happened here??? Only days before she got back, I recieved a postcard telling me she missed me and how I should have come out there with her, dated less than 2 weeks prior.
Background: Both of us are 23 years old, we met in a college engineering class, had a lot of similar interests, ended up going on a few dates and things slowly turned into a strong interest for eachother.
Before she left to go to europe, things weren't official, but we were definetly into eachother. She had stayed with me a few nights at my apt on campus, we had already kissed, etc. The night before she left, I drove to see her. We went to the peir, had a nice evening, cuddled, etc, and parted with what seemed like a full hour of her in tears, and me feeling too horrible to just leave her crying.
The next day she flew to Europe for her 3 month working abroad adventure. Over the course of the 3 months, we e-mail eachother often, nearly everyday, talking about everything and nothing. She telling me she misses me, and how she isn't used to missing someone. In a few of our e-mails, we both talked about wanting to pick things up where we left off, and her telling me it is hard to find a good thing and once you do you have to keep it close and continue to pursue it. She also tells me she wished she could have asked me to wait for her to return, but couldn't expect that of me. Her thinking "expecations lead to dissapointment" Smart girl... I wish I had known earlier. Of course, this girl being a 9+ in my book, I was waiting and hoping... First mistake, I know. Anyway... I recieved many postcards as well, telling me she wishes I was there with her to enjoy in all of her adventures and see all of the beautiful sights and how much she missed me. I only get 2 phone calls from her though. After the first one, she said she was surprised I answer, and was intimidated by calling me. By the end of the 3 months though, she was reassured (as was I) that we were both still really into eachother.
So, she gets back.... I don't even get a phone call or an e-mail letting me know she arrived safely. (lots of reasons, im sure) She called me a few days later, and left a message wishing me goodluck on a competition I was partaking in. I return her phone call, and got a hold of her. We chatted for a while, and the whole conversation seemed somewhat awkward and distant. We ended the convo agreeing we would meet up the next week when school started.
That Monday, I text messaged her to see when she was free, she replied to call her when I was out of class. No problem, called her and got a hold of her. I told her to come over to my apt to hang out. She came, and things were like they were before anything happened. Hands to ourselves, shyness, awkwardness, etc. I didn't move in to kiss her, either. It was late, and she had to leave to drive home (90 miles) for work early the next morning (5am). I told her we should do something when she was free, she agreed and said she was free friday or sat. Of course, she had class wed too. So being an AFC, I texted her in class on wed, just saying hey. Got a reply back. Sent a message asking her what she was doing that night. No reply. Sent another message later that night, telling her I missed her. Late that night, she messaged me telling me I was funny. She then called soon after. I asked if she was out of class (her late class ended at 9pm) and she said she got out early and went to get dessert with one of her friends (guy, of course). No biggie, she has no guy friends, and had told me all about this one. So I ask where she is now... already 40 miles away, half way home. Okay, cool. She still said she wanted to do something on friday or sat...
Friday mornining I was working on my car... I call her that afternoon to see what's up. She was doing homework and said she would call me back when she was done.
Saturday morning arrives, and I am frustrated. I tell myself I am just going to call her and tell her I am on my way and to expect me in an hour. Of course, as soon as I saw her, id lay on a huge kiss, and all would be well. Sadly, she never answered that morning... and my dumb@ss called another 4 times... She finally called back. I was upset, for no good reason... but she could tell. She said she was out running and her phone was in her car... I told her I was on my way down there... she said no. She still had homework to do. I was silent for a minute. And then she tells me she senses some hostility and was gonna go work on her homework. I politely said, okay, I'll talk to you later.... So... of course... that wasnt good enough for me. an hour later I text message her asking if she was really busy, or if she just didnt want to see me. She replied "I am really busy, and when I have free time, I have alot of areas to spend it... friends, family, homework, me... I dont think I can give you what you seem to need." Me being scared all to hell, reply with "i think you have me confused... these last few days I have just been trying to see where we stand... no expectations." And left it at that.
I didn't call her for 6 days... the following friday she called me on her way home from her last class. We chatted for 30 minutes or so as if nothing weird happened. Talked about school, her work, etc. Right when we ran out of things to talk about, I told her I may have to go, as I was recieving another phone call. Phone call ended. Somehow, I felt good about having some control finally.
This time, I could only wait 2 days to call her. I ended up calling on sunday evening, when I knew she would be off work. I got her voicemail, and left a pleasant message, asking how work went, and for to give me a call back sometime. That was yesterday. no word from her.
SO... how much trouble am I in? I know I screwed up a few times, obviously... but what happened here??? Only days before she got back, I recieved a postcard telling me she missed me and how I should have come out there with her, dated less than 2 weeks prior.
