"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Long(ish) distance dating

disfunktional

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Hey,

Interested to hear you views on long distance dating. Well, I'm talking about a woman who is in a different town/city, and say you would have to travel over an hour to get there.

Do you stick to women in your local area? Would you say that long distance dating is AFC behaviour? Based on the fact that you could potentially date women in your local area and not have to travel so far.

df

P.S of course, she would have to travel to you sometimes also.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Victory Unlimited

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Yo Troops!


Confining yourself to only "meeting" women who live 15 minutes away from you is not necessarily a good thing. Why? Because who can say "where" you'll meet an ideal woman.

As a rule, we know very little about women at the outset, whether they are next door or in the next county. Getting to know a chick is ALWAYS a process that takes time AND PROXIMITY.

If this is somebody that you're interested in beyond just a casual acquaintance though, it's only a matter of time before the disance becomes an issue. Then you are faced with the decision of how far you wanna take the relationship. When that happens, somebody will have to choose to move closer to the other.This is when the Long Distance Romancer has to either piss or get off the pot. lol

Many say don't even entertain the idea of dating a woman outside of a 30 minute drive radius. And I understand why they say this too. They say it to protect guys from blowing the woman's good traits up to idealized proportions. And he does this because he has so much time and opportunity to ROMANTICIZE her than he does actually RELATING to her.

They also say this to prevent a guy from overlooking local prospects that may be just as good, or possibly better than his LDR girl. And they also say this to save the guy all the time, heartache, jealousy, etc. that may be a result of living so far away from his girl.

And these are ALL valid arguments. And many will run to the premature condemnation of accusing the guy of having a SCARCITY MENTALITY. But this is not ALWAYS the case.

There are guys out here who actually have a pretty good handle on what they want in a potential relationship. And as a result, they are wisely unwilling to simply write a chick off just because her living distance is not quite optimal----YET.

As a rule, I DO believe it's best to avoid these types of LDR situations. But there ARE exceptions to every rule that a mature person with an adequate amount of self-knowledge should take into account. There are certain X-Factors that come into play when a guy meets a girl who lives "out of town".

What if she lives ONLY one hour away and the drive is no big deal for either of you? I say keep your other options open, but explore THIS one too.

What if she's only going to live this far away from you temporarily, and she is indeed going to be moving to your town in a SET amount of time in the near future-----like in 3 months or so? I say keep your other options open, but explore THIS one too.

What if she's the BEST chick you've met in a long time and her interest level from the very beginning is causing HER to travel more to see YOU than the other way around? I say keep your other options open, but explore THIS one too.

And what if YOU have a career that gives you the luxury of relocating nearer to her if you ever decided that that was a good move for YOU overall anyway? I say keep your other options open, but explore THIS one too.

Now having said all that, let me leave you with this caveat as well:

Long distance dating only works for a LIMITED period of time. At some point, someone has to make the decision that the other person is WORTH closing the distance FOR. And therein lies the risks inherent in that particular type of dating situation...



March on.
 
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MatureDJ

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One hour is local. Two hours can even be considered local. The only issue down the road could be if you and her both have jobs at places in which it would be an issue to quit and move. But if a woman is to become a homemaker for a while, it would not be an issue.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Fifteen minute travel time is a little too short for me. Distances that close you are susceptible to run into each other at random (possibly inopportune times). An hour can be too long at times especially if you want her to do her share of traveling too. Plus it's a bit rough to justify traveling about 50 miles for a woman especially if you're spinning plates who live closer. Somewhere in between is a happy medium.
 

Latinoman

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She lives 1 hour away. However, does she work near you? Does she goes to school near you? Those are my other questions.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Rollo Tomassi

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One hour? It all depends on who's doing the driving. If you're accommodating her exclusively by being the only one doing the driving, then you're not spinning enough plates in your own area. If she's coming out to you exclusively or you meet up 50/50 I'd say she might be worth spinning for a bit.

That said, 99% of guys asking this question are looking for affirmation for being the chump who's doing all the driving to bang one girl's pvssy.
 

grinder

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Why make it harder on yourself? No, the pvssy is NOT sweeter on the other side of the fence. Auto-Mindfvck.
 

disfunktional

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It's not any specific current situation. In the recent past I had opportunities with a woman 50 miles away and one 80 miles away. I was into both and they had high IL in me, though I was much more into the 80 miler than the 50 miler. Anway, I decided not to pursue them seeing as it was such distances and would have to be 'weekenders' which would encroach on my social time more than I'd like. Probably some laziness in it also.

I had thoughts about whether I'd been too harsh and should have given it more of a try. Hence I was just interested to see what everyone elses views were on the matter. Seemed an interesting topic of discussion, and by the looks of it one that has differing views.

df
 
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