Long distance.
- Thread starter panda6112
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spiegel549
Senior Don Juan
Dated a girl 6 hours away for 1 year. Lets just say I would NEVER date anyone ever again that lives more then 1 hour away. If I can't drive to the girl I am dating in under an hour, I can not date her. Period.
Edit: Distance never works. If you are going to be exclusive with a girl you need to be able to SEE her and connect physically with her often. Not this every 2 weeks you see her for 3 days crap like I did. HORRIBLE.
Straight up bro you will cause more mental problems for yourself that its worth. Date local girls.
Edit: Distance never works. If you are going to be exclusive with a girl you need to be able to SEE her and connect physically with her often. Not this every 2 weeks you see her for 3 days crap like I did. HORRIBLE.
Straight up bro you will cause more mental problems for yourself that its worth. Date local girls.
GotED?
Master Don Juan
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How it works out or not depends on how you initially met: is it online and never met in person, or have you kept a routine method of meeting up with each other across the distance?
I personally think, having done long distance for the first 30+ years of my life - it is really someone who has an issue of 'fear of intimacy' because you CONSCIOUSLY choose to pick women/girls who you can not spend weekly time with locally but someone who is far away.
Yes, this is all a conscious decision - you picked it, you own the drama of long distance, and when you cry and howl that she cheated on you or branch swung, what did you really expect???
This is your own issue - look inside, what are you afraid of? There are tons of women in the same locality as you live. Why go for or stay with one who you need safety and distance from?
This is a hard concept to understand, but at age 40 I have realized how long distance is just a protection and mask for someone who chooses to play safe and never really want something to work out successfully in the deep end of the unconscious mind.
Good luck
With respect,
Exodus
I personally think, having done long distance for the first 30+ years of my life - it is really someone who has an issue of 'fear of intimacy' because you CONSCIOUSLY choose to pick women/girls who you can not spend weekly time with locally but someone who is far away.
Yes, this is all a conscious decision - you picked it, you own the drama of long distance, and when you cry and howl that she cheated on you or branch swung, what did you really expect???
This is your own issue - look inside, what are you afraid of? There are tons of women in the same locality as you live. Why go for or stay with one who you need safety and distance from?
This is a hard concept to understand, but at age 40 I have realized how long distance is just a protection and mask for someone who chooses to play safe and never really want something to work out successfully in the deep end of the unconscious mind.
Good luck
With respect,
Exodus
It can be absolutely awesome. But you need to be comfortable with yourself, and you need to be realistic. Obviously it's too damn easy to be just casually dating someone who lives 4 hours or so away, I did that, we'd meet up twice a month or so and go a different place in the country each time, get a hotel... You know. Then after a few months we wanted to see more of each other, so I got a new job and relocated... You can guess the rest.
I'd advise against trying to have a serious, long-term long distance relationship.
I'd advise against trying to have a serious, long-term long distance relationship.
seethehoop
Don Juan
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A girl I'm seeing lives about 100 miles away, it takes anything between and hour n half to two hours to get there. I drive an hour to work each day so this distance is not much more really especially given that I can be there for the weekend or her here. I can be there from about 6 on a Friday and drive to work Monday morning.
Anything more than this I wouldn't really bother, but I don't mind driving, chill out put on some music, not too bad.
I don't really see this as long distance though. That being said its not ideal and isn't sustainable long term.
Anything more than this I wouldn't really bother, but I don't mind driving, chill out put on some music, not too bad.
I don't really see this as long distance though. That being said its not ideal and isn't sustainable long term.
GotED?
Master Don Juan
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Seethehoop, I am in the same exact situation driving on a Friday afternoon and coming back on Monday morning - 91 miles or so.
It gets old after a while with traffic and bad weather combined in driving, and as we go longer together, we often wish we could spend time after work on the weekdays as well but can not.
This is just about the border of 'Long Distance' I would vouch for - even then, a real LTR you eventually will have to close the distance gap. For couples who don't care about that distance gap, there probably is a real issue of committment and deepening feelings that don't exist. A relationship for every season out there, and 6 billion people.
With respect,
Exodus
It gets old after a while with traffic and bad weather combined in driving, and as we go longer together, we often wish we could spend time after work on the weekdays as well but can not.
This is just about the border of 'Long Distance' I would vouch for - even then, a real LTR you eventually will have to close the distance gap. For couples who don't care about that distance gap, there probably is a real issue of committment and deepening feelings that don't exist. A relationship for every season out there, and 6 billion people.
With respect,
Exodus
