"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Long distance ... need help!

Mr.Freestyler19

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so i met this girl at a prom....we leave really far from eachother....we gonna see eachother in like 10 months....i hav been sexual with her....she txts me like everyday...she said she wishes we would live closer....any advice would be apreciated....my goal is to kiss close nxt time i see her....
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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terran2k

Senior Don Juan
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you've been sexual with her? in real life?.. just wondering how you go from being sexual with her and then trying to kiss close?
 

Mr.Freestyler19

Don Juan
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i think i should hav made that clear...not in real life since in real life i only got to dance with her......
 

Maximus Rex

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Mr.Freestyler19 said:
so i met this girl at a prom....we leave really far from eachother....we gonna see eachother in like 10 months....i hav been sexual with her....she txts me like everyday...she said she wishes we would live closer....any advice would be apreciated....my goal is to kiss close nxt time i see her....
Find someday that you can see on a regular basis, as opposed to a chick you plan on kiss closing in 2011.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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