lonely/a sense of not-belonging

[suaveplayer]

ok guys help me out.

it seems like recently i have become very disillusioned/losing faith in this dj business.

first a little background: senior. I have friends, but not that many close ones. I am a little unsocial (working on it) and I was really unsocial before i encountered dj-ism. not popular, not unpopular. certainly not freaky or weird. i am kinda on the smart side so i feel that sometimes it isolates me a little.

so it seems that djism has opened my eyes to my own weakness, and i am feeling very lonely. its not that i dont have friends its just that i feel like i dont belong here(one reason i am really looking forward to college). I dont get invited to much stuff (no plans for new years yet :[ ) and this really throws me off. and it does not help that my little bro is super social.

ok im gonna quantify "cool" here. its not appropriate, but bear with me for the sake of this post: it seems like people cooler/more social than me always have plans and friends. and even people less cool/less social than me have a little circle of close friends. I have close friends too, but its a much more individualized approach, i have one here and there. but i dont fit into one specific group (shall we say clique?).

maybe this recent low is just caused by external circumstances (its break and i am staying home a lot). anyway i am feeling really strongly a sense of not-belonging. help me out.

thanks.

 

[jeffthechef]

yeh..i'm in the same situation

not popular but not un....several close friends but all in different groups..dont really have plans every single day of my life..on the smart side..i think haha...and sometimes feel as though i wish i had more plans..

but honestly..i love not being busy every day...i have plans here and there..but strangely..i've really enjoyed my time with myf amily more...kinda strange but now that my sister and i are older...we have a great time with my parents cause we can joke around more....i also wake up sometimes really early or stay up all night knowing i don't have any commitments the next day, and i've really begun to love the sunrise and sunset....i walk out at 5:45 am and see nature as something beautiful rather than the beginning of another tedious day...i could really sit on a hill and watch the skyline all day...OF COURSE i would prefer to have at least one person to talk with...

don't believe that having billions of close friends and plans to keep you busy all the time is the only way to enjoy life...lay back and relax...enjoy nature, your family, and your friends...i especially love to go cruise with my firend aorund our neighborhood, eat, play ball, and sit outside my house while the sunsets and talk about the ladies or whatever piques ourr interest....

perhaps just develop that one simple thing you love...for me it's just that laying ball and talking about ladies as the sunsets...

there is no single way of life that is fun...for some, always being busy is the most satisfying, for others it's a less busy life....go make plans with your firends...it's not that hard...i might just call a friend or a few and watch the fireworks by the beach and then come home and have a late night out dinner....maybe you're not close with your family but maybe you are...midnight drives with the car full is one of the funnest things and of course gaming ladies =)

Find a way of life. Cultivate. Enjoy.

 

[Punisha]

jeffthechef speaks the truth.
We are all different from each other so just accept it and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
Maybe they have more plans but they dont do what they want; maybe they have more friends but dont have any Real friend.Hell maybe dont wish they were a little more like you.

Live life in your own pace

 

[Doozer]

I started going through the exact same thing your going through my tenth grade year when i switched schools. I didn't really feel like I fit in anywhere up until the beginning of this year, my senior year. I met some really cool people over the summer and although I'm not all that social (something I am also working on) I realized that I don't like being around a lot of people. I tried doing the whole party thing, but I honestly did not feel all that comfortable. I like spending time with myself, but also with my close friends rather than a bunch of acquaintances.

I've always hung around small groups and it wasn't until my sophmore year that I was with a bigger group, but it just did not feel right. The way jeffthechef put it hit the nail on the head.


edit: *off topic*
I tried posting a thread, but it didn't show up on the forums. I thought my account had been disabled or something. Why couldn't I do it?

 

[jeffthechef]

hmm...try again..maybe it was just a glitch...if you have an account you should be able to post threads

 

[suaveplayer]

ok thank you guys for the tips.

one thing. some of you are pretty content with the low-key social life. However, i am having a hard time dealing with not being invited to stuff. It seems like i havent tried out the other way before. i wanna try it (busy, noisy, party) but i dont have the chance. am i making sense?

for example: i have 0 plans for new years rite now. Now it would be ok if i were like: ok so i rather just stay home. but the problem is i dont want to just stay home. you see what i mean??

thanks you guys have been really helpful

 

[suaveplayer]

ok thank you guys for the tips.

one thing. some of you are pretty content with the low-key social life. However, i am having a hard time dealing with not being invited to stuff. It seems like i havent tried out the other way before. i wanna try it (busy, noisy, party) but i dont have the chance. am i making sense?

for example: i have 0 plans for new years rite now. Now it would be ok if i were like: ok so i rather just stay home. but the problem is i dont want to just stay home. you see what i mean??

thanks you guys have been really helpful

 

[f283000]

suaveplayer you are going about this the totally wrong way. Instead of trying to justify your life by the amount of friends/parties you get invited to you should be focusing on becoming a man. You are not yet a man you are a whiny little boy that is crying cause he doesn't have many friends or doesn't get invited to parties, big deal!

real men do their own thing and live their own lives, they don't justify their own lives or seek approval of others to make themselves feel good. Instead of worrying about not having enough friends/not being invited to parties pick up hobbies/sports and join clubs. These will help you do fun positive activities which also help you meet new friends.

Start practicing sports and other hobbies, join clubs,lift weights, go sargin with a sarge buddy. When you pick up hobbies and start playing sports you are doing something positive which makes you feel good and help you become a better man. Not only that but you meet interesting people and you yourself become more interesting as you practice something that is practiced by others.

you can go to meetup.com and find some clubs of hobbies you are interested in. You will do something fun and meet people at the same time. That is how you start out. But please stop with the mentality of feeling sorry for yourself that you have no friends and don't get invited to parties. Concentrate on improving yourself and becoming a man. This is a weak attitude that will not attract any women to you. A man needs nobody and relies on himself.

 

[eaglez1177]

suaveplayer you are going about this the totally wrong way. Instead of trying to justify your life by the amount of friends/parties you get invited to you should be focusing on becoming a man. You are not yet a man you are a whiny little boy that is crying cause he doesn't have many friends or doesn't get invited to parties, big deal!

real men do their own thing and live their own lives, they don't justify their own lives or seek approval of others to make themselves feel good. Instead of worrying about not having enough friends/not being invited to parties pick up hobbies/sports and join clubs. These will help you do fun positive activities which also help you meet new friends.

Start practicing sports and other hobbies, join clubs,lift weights, go sargin with a sarge buddy. When you pick up hobbies and start playing sports you are doing something positive which makes you feel good and help you become a better man. Not only that but you meet interesting people and you yourself become more interesting as you practice something that is practiced by others.

you can go to meetup.com and find some clubs of hobbies you are interested in. You will do something fun and meet people at the same time. That is how you start out. But please stop with the mentality of feeling sorry for yourself that you have no friends and don't get invited to parties. Concentrate on improving yourself and becoming a man. This is a weak attitude that will not attract any women to you. A man needs nobody and relies on himself.

Perfectly put. That is some great advice for you right there suaveplayer and its really all you need. Good luck!

 

[suaveplayer]

suaveplayer you are going about this the totally wrong way. Instead of trying to justify your life by the amount of friends/parties you get invited to you should be focusing on becoming a man. You are not yet a man you are a whiny little boy that is crying cause he doesn't have many friends or doesn't get invited to parties, big deal!

real men do their own thing and live their own lives, they don't justify their own lives or seek approval of others to make themselves feel good. Instead of worrying about not having enough friends/not being invited to parties pick up hobbies/sports and join clubs. These will help you do fun positive activities which also help you meet new friends.

Start practicing sports and other hobbies, join clubs,lift weights, go sargin with a sarge buddy. When you pick up hobbies and start playing sports you are doing something positive which makes you feel good and help you become a better man. Not only that but you meet interesting people and you yourself become more interesting as you practice something that is practiced by others.

you can go to meetup.com and find some clubs of hobbies you are interested in. You will do something fun and meet people at the same time. That is how you start out. But please stop with the mentality of feeling sorry for yourself that you have no friends and don't get invited to parties. Concentrate on improving yourself and becoming a man. This is a weak attitude that will not attract any women to you. A man needs nobody and relies on himself.

this is a very good note, i needed that. so thx

but just as a side note, i do have a lot of hobbies and interests. i just want to take the next step socially. any tips would be welcome

 

[Furnezz]

suaveplayer you are going about this the totally wrong way. Instead of trying to justify your life by the amount of friends/parties you get invited to you should be focusing on becoming a man. You are not yet a man you are a whiny little boy that is crying cause he doesn't have many friends or doesn't get invited to parties, big deal!

real men do their own thing and live their own lives, they don't justify their own lives or seek approval of others to make themselves feel good. Instead of worrying about not having enough friends/not being invited to parties pick up hobbies/sports and join clubs. These will help you do fun positive activities which also help you meet new friends.

Start practicing sports and other hobbies, join clubs,lift weights, go sargin with a sarge buddy. When you pick up hobbies and start playing sports you are doing something positive which makes you feel good and help you become a better man. Not only that but you meet interesting people and you yourself become more interesting as you practice something that is practiced by others.

you can go to meetup.com and find some clubs of hobbies you are interested in. You will do something fun and meet people at the same time. That is how you start out. But please stop with the mentality of feeling sorry for yourself that you have no friends and don't get invited to parties. Concentrate on improving yourself and becoming a man. This is a weak attitude that will not attract any women to you. A man needs nobody and relies on himself.

Thanks.