Loneliness?

[Deadly_Ripped]

I enjoy and hate being single. I think neither of those two feelings towards singledom require explanation.

Enjoying it is the easy part when I'm in a good mood (most of the time), but it's those times when I'm feeling lonely where enjoying it becomes very difficult. I find myself not interested in hanging out with my friends, and generally not as energetic or funny or creative when around other people.

It is not clinical depression - too short and not cycling. It's just bouts of loneliness that spurn cynicism and an ornery demeanor.

I'm on here talking about it because I feel like these pangs of loneliness are at the heart of my tendency to develop one-itis. I recognize it and avoid it by asking myself: what would a DJ do? It usually works. It usually changes how I act to avoid doing something AFC out of loneliness or insecurity.

But it doesn't change how I feel.

How do you guys cope with loneliness when it hits? Are there any mantras or memories that you conjure up to ward off the funk?

If not, how long does it take for you to ride it out?

 

[jhl]

Have an exciting life outside of your main job (whether it be school or work) or strive to improve your career.

If you keep yourself busy with fun activities and things to do to improve your career the loneliness factor will disappear....you simply don't have time to be lonely. If not, you'll be engaged in a lot of fun activities that will make you forget being lonely.

Get outside your comfort zone and try new things. Joining new groups via meetup is a great way to meet new people and enjoy new hobbies that you would have never tried yourself.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

The thing is, I've got more friends/acquaintances than I know what to do with. On top of that, I am at the forefront of my career field. It's a combination of the following:

the connection with another singular human being
the validation that comes with the connection
the poonanni as a stress reilever
the stability of a positive influence in my life

All of these things help keep me stay sane and level, but without all of those things, I feel like I'm floating through life. i.e. just getting laid isn't enough, and just having the validation from someone whom I'm not physically attracted to isn't enough.

I can think all day long about how I'm glad that I'm not with this ex or that ex, but at the end of the day, I'm still not with anyone.

It just sucks and I'd prefer it to be otherwise. Until then I've just got to keep reminding myself that I'm eligible, I guess, barring any other suggestions from this monstrous field of eligible bachelors.

I don't care if this isn't the DJ mindset. In the past 2 years I've gone from the hit-it-and-quit-it attitude to the oh-snap-I-just-want-someone-to-take-care-of-and-raise-a-family attitude.

 

[F!DELITY]

I totally hear what your saying OP. I have a very similar mindset.

The thing with me is, I have kept my head down, studied etc. and now I have landed a great job with a future. I have dated a few girls along the way, but they have not been right for me so it has never worked out.

The thing is, although generally my life is going good with my career and friends and social life etc. I am still very unfulfilled - and it is because I know I want a meaningful relationship, and someone to share my life with.

I don't care if that sounds "afc" in anyone's eyes. I am simply a man who is growing up from wanting to just fvck chicks. In short, I want something with substance.

I don't really know what the answer is to this. I think its all about simply continuing to be happy and focused and driven. and when the time comes when you do come across miss right - you will know what you've gotta do.

Just don't slip back into the afc pedestal bvllsh!t

 

[sirBill]

**** guys, I feel the exact same way.

I'm doing great in university and professionally, have a fantastic job and money and nice clothing and I've been hitting the gym and am in the best shape I have been my whole life.

I go on dates and have flings, but I just want someone to connect with.