"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Lol. I'm almost sure she's just out to f*ck with me now.

cactus3178

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Ah, women.

***Short version***

Ex says we cannot have sex anymore (after 10 months of being broken up), so we can supposedly "get our collective sh*t together" (as if sex has a damn thing to do with it). Got smashed together almost a week later, had sex, and she blames me for "taking advantage of her". Now ex g/f is pissed off at me and I look like the bad guy once again.




***Long Version***


So some of you have heard me complain about my ex (whom I shouldn't be seeing at all anyway), or read of my misfortunes with said girl.

Last week, I had to give her drunk ass a ride home from the bar because her friend never showed up. I was pretty buzzed myself, and since I'm no longer a big fan of drunk driving, I asked her if I could come in to her (my former) house. She gave me a line about us needing to be only friends now (after 10 months of being 'broken up' and still having sex w/ each other), and told me I could sleep in the spare room only. She made a big deal out of it, and I just went home.

Then, last Wednesday, we met by coincidence at the local bar, on they're 'hip hop night' which was pretty damn cool. Anyways, after many $1 drinks/beers, she was plowed and I was pretty buzzed as well. Funny enough, as much as were supposed to be friends, she barely spoke to me, instead, opting to get sh*t-faced and dance her ass off with her girlfriends and a male friend of hers. I know she doesn't like this guy, but I'm damn sure she was trying to make me jealous by dancing with him (like I give a sh*t).

Time goes by, she's fallen on the dance floor 3 times, everybody keeps telling me "Damn, dude, she's drunk". As if I didn't know. Her cousin who was supposed to give her a ride needed to leave, so I got suckered into giving her a ride. Again. And you can probably guess what happened.

We ended up having sex a couple times that night, and the next morning I gave her a ride back to her car, which was still at the bar. A couple days go by, and we talked on the phone. I asked her if she was pissed off at me because she had a rude tone in her voice. She told me she felt like I had taken advantage of her (bullsh*t), and that she said we can't have sex anymore since we had that conversation the previous Friday.

I don't 'take advantage' of drunk girls, I was f*cking smashed myself, and one thing just led to another. Honestly, having her say that really pisses me the f*ck off because I'm not that kind of person, and she knows it. WTF? How the hell is this all my fault?

So, this is why you don't sleep with ex's?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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JT47319

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No.

Every girl has a fyck buddy. You are that fyck buddy. Congratulations.

Now if only you could move her to anytime booty call availability by alleviating her guilt and association with being drunk. Then during those lonely 2AM nights, you can give her a booty call.
 

cactus3178

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Quick update, didn't want to start another thread.

Dude, I don't even know how I got myself into this situation. I just had to call her at work to ask about some PC parts I need to send to her grandma, and she just reamed my ass. Starts telling me not to call her at work, etc, and f*cking hung up on me mid-sentence.


WHY THE F*UCK DO I PUT UP WITH THIS DISRESPECT?

-This girl has personally told me that she's lost respect for me and that she needs to gain it back and forgive me if were ever to have a bf/gf relationship again.

-We have almost no mutual interests.

-She's kind of let herself go physically.

-She barely gives me the time of day in public.

SO WHY AM I STILL GIVING A SH*T?

Truly, a mystery. I know I could do better, but the weirdest part is that I don't want to. I HATE failing in anything I do, but I think this time it's out of my hands.

F*ck.
 

ThunderMaverick

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Yes; as in; No- Cactus dosen't want to be a fuck buddy.

*smacks JT* You been paying attention?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

JT47319

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Originally posted by ThunderMaverick
Yes; as in; No- Cactus dosen't want to be a fuck buddy.

*smacks JT* You been paying attention?
Of course Cactus wants his fuck buddy. Why else would he keep on fucking his fuck buddy?

What he REALLY wants is for her to chill out with the emotional baggage and guilt. It's hard to keep a good fuck buddy when they keep on emotionally tripping out on you. No strings, good times.

By the way, BOTTOMLINE, you must dictate terms of the relationship. SHE WANTS YOUR DYCK. Don't let her continually shit test and let her get away with it. Don't put up with and tell her straight up that she still wants you and that it can still be a fun, two way relationship IF SHE FUCKING DROPS THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.
 
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ThunderMaverick

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Ahh I see. i thought he was just confused. o_O;

Edit: Wait. A fuck buddy isn't going to work in this case. There's emotional history and there always WILL be.

Sorry, Cactus. You can't have your cake and eat it too. She just won't let you.
 

cactus3178

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JT, I'd like to have it be that way, but the damage is already done. This chick already said she has lost respect for me, and she's got the control.

ThunderMaverick, it's that exact emotional BS from a 3.5 year 'relationship (if you will) that keeps me coming back.

Damn, is there any way to regain control in this situation. I'm up for anything at this point.
 

JT47319

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PLOW THROUGH.

DENY HER REALITY.

Don't let anything she says phase you. Because everything she is doing is in order to SHIT TEST you. This is actually an IOI that you can TURN AROUND if you pass.

If she says she's lost respect for you, tell her YOU DON'T CARE BECAUSE YOU STILL RESPECT YOURSELF and what I think about myself is MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.

In fact, behind that, just PLOW THROUGH. Talk about YOUR day. Talk about how much FUN YOU'VE BEEN HAVING LATELY. Talk about all your NEW FRIENDS. Talk about COOL, FUN STUFF that's been happening TO YOU since she left.

Any conversational thread that looks like it's taking a negative turn, JUST KILL IT and PLOW THROUGH with something from YOU. Don't let her take control of YOUR FRAME. DENY HER REALITY.

CHANGE HER MOOD, NOT HER MIND!
 

cactus3178

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JT:

"This is actually an IOI that you can TURN AROUND if you pass."

What do you mean by this, bro? I don't know what IOI means (we need a f*cking glossary)

Also, what's a sh*t test? I know I need to read the DJ Bible more thoroughly ;)

Thanks!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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WaterTiger

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Cactus...Dear, Darling man...Listen to your Auntie WaterTiger!

You can do so much better than this vile woman and her sadistic games!

You moved out of this woman's house so you could get away from her...why are you still speaking to her? If she gets plastered at a club and her ride ditches her...SO FREAKING WHAT???? She's NOT your responsibility!

Her GRANDMA needs something? SO FREAKING WHAT? Grandma can march down to Computerland Super Store just like the rest of us! It's NOT your responsibility.

It's NOT out of your hands. Do not communicate this woman, don't accept her communications! Change your phone number and make it unlisted. Ignore her in public and KEEP WALKING!

She is pissing all over you and you're standing there letting her do it. ((SMACK to the back of the head)) Stop letting her do that! It makes your clothes smell funny and leaves a yellow stain!
 

CLOONEY

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Originally posted by WaterTiger
Cactus...Dear, Darling man...Listen to your Auntie WaterTiger!

You can do so much better than this vile woman and her sadistic games!

You moved out of this woman's house so you could get away from her...why are you still speaking to her? If she gets plastered at a club and her ride ditches her...SO FREAKING WHAT???? She's NOT your responsibility!

Her GRANDMA needs something? SO FREAKING WHAT? Grandma can march down to Computerland Super Store just like the rest of us! It's NOT your responsibility.

It's NOT out of your hands. Do not communicate this woman, don't accept her communications! Change your phone number and make it unlisted. Ignore her in public and KEEP WALKING!

She is pissing all over you and you're standing there letting her do it. ((SMACK to the back of the head)) Stop letting her do that! It makes your clothes smell funny and leaves a yellow stain!
EXACTLY!! Why did you move out of the house? It was to get the fukc away from her!!! SO DO IT!!! Stop being a biotch and letting this biotch pizz on you!!! Man, I want to shake the fukc out of you, listen to yourself!! You sound like a whining little biotch!!!! You dont need control over her, you need control over yourself. Man, reading this pizzes me off to see a fellow man becoming a little girl!!!
 
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