"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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lol Banter lines you can use to tease

redspicyflag

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http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/27MarkVanderhoff.html

Pickup Lines:
The First Drafts.

BY MARK VANDERHOFF

- - - -

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.
Some of these are pretty good

I lol'd alot:crackup:

gonna use em in the field
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Eccentric

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I like "Excuse me, you probably hear this a lot but I just have to talk to the most beautiful girl in this place. Mind helping me find her?"
 

In Motion

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"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?"

Haha, I love some of these!
 

NoMoreTapDancing

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Guys you've got to be kidding? This doesn't work. Don't use any of this stuff. Can't you just go over and say hello to her? You can't tease with canned lines? You have to tease using your natural sense of humour and a response to the situation. Getting girls isn't an RPG. You can't just go around using lines like this expecting some kind of positive response. You'll just get laughed at.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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NoMoreTapDancing said:
Guys you've got to be kidding? This doesn't work. Don't use any of this stuff. Can't you just go over and say hello to her? You can't tease with canned lines? You have to tease using your natural sense of humour and a response to the situation. Getting girls isn't an RPG. You can't just go around using lines like this expecting some kind of positive response. You'll just get laughed at.
There's something to be said about the congruence of guys saying things which fit their personality.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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NoMoreTapDancing

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True, but then such guys would have come up with stuff like this on the fly as a result of their personality, not because they read it on a forum?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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NoMoreTapDancing said:
True, but then such guys would have come up with stuff like this on the fly as a result of their personality, not because they read it on a forum?
They probably could. It wouldn't be as corny but probably as offensive. It's easy to come up with insults that anything else. That's why c/f is used (incorrectly) so often, it's easier.
 

Axcell

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
They probably could. It wouldn't be as corny but probably as offensive. It's easy to come up with insults that anything else. That's why c/f is used (incorrectly) so often, it's easier.
So long as you ensure you have developed enough rapport with the women you are targetting, it should not come off as offensive. Just ensure you have a cheeky smile, and you don't sound "dry" when saying it. When you develop rapport with her, she should be able to take a joke. And if she can't, well, next her. Have the frame of mind that "I need a girl who can take a joke. If you can't take a joke, stop wasting my time and let me find somebody who can suit my needs."

Some of those sound too much like they were taken from the internet (so they may have been entertaining to read, but definetly not something I would say), but I am liking Eccentric's: "Excuse me, you probably hear this a lot but I just have to talk to the most beautiful girl in this place. Mind helping me find her?"

Simply gold, and would probably work on the field. ;)
 
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i wouldnt ever use lines like this, but the "are you fmor tenesse? i hate people form tenesee" is genious...thats somehting i would actually say haha
 

redspicyflag

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NoMoreTapDancing said:
Guys you've got to be kidding? This doesn't work. Don't use any of this stuff. Can't you just go over and say hello to her? You can't tease with canned lines? You have to tease using your natural sense of humour and a response to the situation. Getting girls isn't an RPG. You can't just go around using lines like this expecting some kind of positive response. You'll just get laughed at.
It's all about your personal style

I found these lines and decided to help my DJ bros out

chill bro
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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619joe

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"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?"

"Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes."

^ The only two really worth it.I disagree with these lines being openers.These are PEREFECT few minutes AFTER the opener.Assuming your the type of guy who can pull it off AND improvise it a bit then you would be set.
 

Crazy Asian

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i wouldn't use these lines seriously.
just as a corny joke to start the convo.
 

ChrizZ

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I wouldn't use them either.

I like this one though:

"OMG, did you fall from heaven?"

..."well, you sure look like you hit the ground pretty hard!"
 

DismantleRepair

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I am strongly against using an obviously canned opener like these, they are just too fake.

Instead, you should think of something contextual, ie, something happening around you. This will show that you do actually have a sense of humour.

Just tonight actually, I was on a ship back to Wellington over the Cook Strait. It was a pretty bumpy ride, the ship was leaning and rocking, and I did one approach, for the second line I said "So what do you get up to when you're not rocking back and forth? *small pause* ....the ship, I mean." Which I got a great laugh and response from.

Pretty much find anything around you and turn it into a double entendre. That also takes care of her seeing you as a sexual being.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Nighthawk

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"I just want to tell you something but it'll probably sound retarded... muhbuhmurblemuhbaa."
 

CrunchyNut

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I love the Windex one and the criminals one!

How about "you're ugly but you intrigue me!"
 

woods

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Do you work at UPS?... Then why are you checkin' out my package?

I totally blew it with a girl who really was checking me out with that one!
I told her I dont like chicks with no sense of humor, and said it to a girl close to her, who started laughing her ass off. I looked at girl #1 and shrugged my shoulders and gave her a 'you fukked up' look.
 
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