Logical thinking- preventing attachment

[LuisGarcia10]

One thing I've learnt recently is that sometimes the brain can convince us to place more importance on something than we would do, simply by releasing hormones.
I won't bore you with a long story here, but to illustrate what I'm talking about, heres a short story...
About 4 months ago I met with a friend for drinks in town one afternoon, she introduced me to her friend. I was in a celebratory mood as my football team had won an important match, I got talking to her friend, the drinks flowed and we arranged to meet later that night, me, one friend, and the two girls.
Within about 30 minutes I was making out with the friend, shortly we were in bed, I woke up the following morning and thought, brilliant, a great day, sex, and she doesn't expect anything else. At this time I thought, she's hot, but I could do better. I'd been out of dating for a while at this point, I'd had a lot of one night stands and quite liked the idea of dating, so me and this girl date for a few months until recently when she dumped me, and, as everyone here has experienced, I was heart broken. I went NC, went out on more dates and got over it fairly swiftly, until she broke NC and I, stupidly, broke the rules that I've learnt and tried to persuade her to change her mind. You guessed if, as soon as he got her sense of power back, she told me she wasn't interested again. At which point I told her I definately didn't want contact with her.
Anyway, I just walked through town and saw her again, and looked at her just like any other girl, and thought, she's hot, but she's not even the hottest girl I've seen in the 5 minutes I've been walking down this street! Was she really worth the stress? Was this what I've been beating myself up over? If she had a beautiful personality and was loyal, good and honest then yes, it's possible I'd date her, but she wasn't l, she had above average looks which clouded a below average personality!
I can't speak for everyone here, but I honestly think that 90% of time people forget how the felt when they first met the girl of their focus. The girl you are spending hours trying to figure how to ether back...is it because she's amazing or is it just because you're high on the drug of infatuation. Women think emotionally, men do not, or should not l. And the second you allow that demographic to change is when you lose everything you've learnt.

I may be telling you what you already know, but what this episode has taught me is that if you analyse the girl, positively and negatively, then 9 times out of 10 she's no where near worth the trouble of caring about losing.

All it takes is a walk down the street to see how easily she can be replaced!

 

[Serg897]

Good stuff.

 

[MM92]

One thing I've learnt recently is that sometimes the brain can convince us to place more importance on something than we would do, simply by releasing hormones.
I won't bore you with a long story here, but to illustrate what I'm talking about, heres a short story...
About 4 months ago I met with a friend for drinks in town one afternoon, she introduced me to her friend. I was in a celebratory mood as my football team had won an important match, I got talking to her friend, the drinks flowed and we arranged to meet later that night, me, one friend, and the two girls.
Within about 30 minutes I was making out with the friend, shortly we were in bed, I woke up the following morning and thought, brilliant, a great day, sex, and she doesn't expect anything else. At this time I thought, she's hot, but I could do better. I'd been out of dating for a while at this point, I'd had a lot of one night stands and quite liked the idea of dating, so me and this girl date for a few months until recently when she dumped me, and, as everyone here has experienced, I was heart broken. I went NC, went out on more dates and got over it fairly swiftly, until she broke NC and I, stupidly, broke the rules that I've learnt and tried to persuade her to change her mind. You guessed if, as soon as he got her sense of power back, she told me she wasn't interested again. At which point I told her I definately didn't want contact with her.
Anyway, I just walked through town and saw her again, and looked at her just like any other girl, and thought, she's hot, but she's not even the hottest girl I've seen in the 5 minutes I've been walking down this street! Was she really worth the stress? Was this what I've been beating myself up over? If she had a beautiful personality and was loyal, good and honest then yes, it's possible I'd date her, but she wasn't l, she had above average looks which clouded a below average personality!
I can't speak for everyone here, but I honestly think that 90% of time people forget how the felt when they first met the girl of their focus. The girl you are spending hours trying to figure how to ether back...is it because she's amazing or is it just because you're high on the drug of infatuation. Women think emotionally, men do not, or should not l. And the second you allow that demographic to change is when you lose everything you've learnt.

I may be telling you what you already know, but what this episode has taught me is that if you analyse the girl, positively and negatively, then 9 times out of 10 she's no where near worth the trouble of caring about losing.

All it takes is a walk down the street to see how easily she can be replaced!

Good post, very true. Guessing you're a Liverpool fan then? You'll struggle to finish in the top 8 this season

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Haha yeah I am a Liverpool fan! We'd just beaten Everton in the semi final!
Such a good day!

 

[snowdog]

I agree to a degree. A lot of girls are replaceable. But in rare cases, some girls really are special and totally awesome and worth the trouble.

 

[GotED?]

The fallacy of mankind (and men overall) is that we initiate our 'oxytocin' at the early onset of seeing some broad with a hot face, hot rear, hot tootsies and then we are ready to be instituted into the nearest mental asylum. Women, don't get this until later, after she's had sex with you (typically, not talking about sluts).

If you are a true DJ, you have learned that looks is just shallow as looks gets. Once you have dated 8+ above hot looking women, you realize the MORE **** you have to live up to and less personality to go with that hot ass of hers. If you are looking to date/LTR, I would really go down a notch on looks but still fulfills your 'oxytocin' onset but not mentally deranged. Therefore, you may be able to view the woman more clearly, and she will have a much better personality (trust me on this one!) to go with that lesser entitled attitude that 8+ above women typically have; and yes, they exist just for men and they deserve it all without giving much.

(here is the exception: If you are NOT used to landing 8+ hotties in your boat, then you will have a real struggle with this, because you will be putting her on a pedestal to make up for your inner inferiority. You have to learn what type of women is within your game, or else they will tear up your ego and manhood like you wish you were never born)

With respect,

Exodus