"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Logical Reason for Men Why Too Many Compliments Don't Work.

A-Unit

Master Don Juan
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As if you need more reasons 'why' excessive compliments don't work, here's another. But this the evolutionary bottom-line. Prefacing that, I spend some free-time researching dating, sexuality, relationships, etc.

Women seek the best mate for her potential because she, being very similar to an egg, can truly only have 1 mate. Sure, she can divorce, etc, and remarry. But as she incurs more "liabilities" I will call them, her value amongst men declines. Every chink in her armor sends her further off the pedastal.

For instance...
*Excessive romantic partners.
*Bad genes.
*Kids.
*Even having a husband or mate counter-part.
*Aging.

These are all severe deterents to 'cheating' or even to 'settling upon one man.' She has to know, in at least a long-term relationship, that she is getting the best bang for her buck (or fvck if you like). Because the excessive costs of child-rearing impart a sort of subconscious spell on her, she is inclined to do the best for herself, and her 'children' with little regard to feelings or logic. If she 'assumes' or gets a signal that a potentially better evolutionary mate is available she'll go for it.

By and large, a women are insecure, more so if you ever date below your relative potential. For instance.

A female '10' dating a male '6' probably wouldn't worry to much about finding a great mate. There's alot of potentially suitable males from 6 through 10.

However, a female '10' dating a male '10' would be insecure, as she realizes few 10's exist, and their demand amongst her female competitors increases. Which is why to her, very little can go wrong, and aside from the attractive mechanism, a woman who sees a man as her equal value will very unlikely stray.

BUT...men throw an evolutionary wrench in the mix when they give excessive compliments. Compliments by and large give us a temporary sense of self-confidence. When you complete a job, or a task, or even meet a cute stranger, the rush of endorphins makes you feel invincible, until the next lull. You can't always be high, but certainly the iron armor you wear once you hear one even makes men say "well if this cutie thinks I'm hot, what about other girls?"

The same train of thought occurs in women. Excessive compliments feed her sense of confidence, giving her the "trigger" that she is very valuable, and in-turn, could fetch a higher value on the dating market. When that happens, she might test the waters by discreetly cheating, or completely killing off the whole relationship. She no longer sees you as an equal as she once did before, she sees you below her, or at least not evolutionarily equivalent for her dating needs.

Most of the people I know that lost a woman who could claim they were "good men," did this sort of behavior. Compliments, gifts, even super excessive passionate sex that exalted her feminity to the point of goddessdom.

To us, it isn't logical to see 'why' women do that. BUT, it's emotional to her, and the 'logical' reason why us men shouldn't do that. Yes, make her feel special when she does something...THAT IS POSITIVE REINFORCE. Ya know, like GOOD DOGGIE for going outside, as opposed to on your bed spread?

But what happens when you reinforce behavior haphazardly, for no reason? That's where the hubris sets in and she gets the feeling of superiority, or at least the communication that you're not her equal, and you couldn't do better than her.



A-Unit
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The TallOne

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Good post.

Most women will stick around when they look up to you... you don't even really need to be her equal.

Humans are attracted to something that they think is better than them... leaders if you will.

Once a woman looks down on you, she loses all respect for you, and if you're in a marriage... then you got a nice firm, chain around your neck.

Good post overall.
 

disciple

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Good post man!!!

You give positive reinforcement for good behavior and you show disapproval for bad behavior.

That way you discipline a chick.
 
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