LJBF- will I deal with it right? (offer advice)

[napoleon]

OK I have been with this girl for 3 months, see eachother about 2-3 times a week. I haven't told her I love her or anything. I've been a good DJ ,but i fked 1 thing. See, she has never came in her life by a man and I didn't want to be a jerk and was full of understanding, she even cried and I comforted her. I told her, and belived that we will solve her problem. Maybe I made the mistake of not nexting her here but I didnt want to hurt her. Except that, I never acted AFC, except that I told her I was a virgin. Of course we fuked and all.
Now today she tells me what I thought of of, are we a couple. I told her you tell me. She tells me we are prolly not a couple and that she's not in love with me ( I told her I'm not in love also) and told me if I'd mind we'd be friends. I told her that I dont want to be friends, maybe fukbudies.
I will now cut off all contact and see how things are going. Maybe she's testing me or isn't really intrested anymore. I think cutting off all contact and seeing how things will be going is the only solution.
What do YOU think?

 

[girlsarecrazy]

Cut off all contact with her. Don't think about her. When she calls pick up and say that you are busy. She'll miss you and come running back. But try to forget about all the emotions you have had with her so if you do decide to come back in the relationship, you will be the one in total control. Rebuild the attraction.

 

[Jariel]

The golden rule is: people value more what they fear losing. I agree with girlsarecrazy. Withdraw all your attention, keep busy and don't give her much of your time and let her see what she has lost.

Read my tip in my signature: "Handling rejection" for some more detailed examples.

 

[napoleon]

I wanted to do just that. I think it's the only way to handle this situation ,whether it's a test or a next ,except nexting her right then and there. I was thinking, something in the lines of this-
Her: Lets meet?
Me: Why?


Her: Lets meet?
Me: I cant I'm busy, will call you (and than call in 4-5 days)

...


PS. I told her I dont wanna be friends cause I dont belive in male-female friendship without the sexual note that is always present, so if she doesnt wanna be with me ,we wont be friends.


PPS. I like her but am not in love with her. Now I thought I will be devastated ,but I am feeling regular. I really dont feel any regret or anything. This is just practice.

 

[napoleon]

Nobody?

 

[stalluproar]

The problem here is you have set the frame that you are the nice guy she can come crying to with all her problems. You have turned into a girly man as women don't find that attractive. I am 100% sure she was testing you when she asked you if we are a couple. You can be AFC and say yes, or you can come off insecure by folding (I believe asking her what she thinks is coming across insecure and you folded). The best way to combat that is, "Obviously you think we are." That makes you in control and now she is playing catch up. Also, when you talk explicitly about sex and friends thing, you come across that you want a relationship too much, which makes women run. Calibrate and better yourself for the next one.

 

[brucevangeorge]

You lost her. She's gone.

Poof!

Oh well, there is no point really. Get a new girl. And for god's sake DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME! Don't make the same mistake again! Learn from this.

And don't waste time with that *****. She is not worth it. She basically told you that she finds you as attractive as a non-gender based object or person.

She does not think of you as a man! You are LJBF because you no longer have a **** in her mind. You are one of the girls! And you know, I AGREE with her. Get it straight and do it right with another girl. The one now is not worth your time, $$$ and patience. Don't bother with it, you are only going to end up losing more.

You can choose to cut it early, or later after much anguish, pain and mental frustration. (and let's not forget all the time with you being lovey-dovey while she doesn't even give a crap, or worse: getting c0ck from another guy!)

 

[TheFlyingMan]

guys, sorry if this is a dumb Q.

OK, I get the point that I can't be the nice guy that she runs to with her all her troubles, but if she tries to tell me her problems, what do I say?

Isn't it kinda arseh0ley to say "I don't give a shvt, don't tell me!". Is there a more suave way of doing it?

 

[brucevangeorge]

guys, sorry if this is a dumb Q.

OK, I get the point that I can't be the nice guy that she runs to with her all her troubles, but if she tries to tell me her problems, what do I say?

Isn't it kinda arseh0ley to say "I don't give a shvt, don't tell me!". Is there a more suave way of doing it?

Yes. Say something along the lines of:

I am not your girlfriend. I am a guy. If you need some help fixing this, then just ask. Otherwise don't just come to me and complain about everything, you have girlfriends just for that.

 

[TheFlyingMan]

nice!