LJBF - Please Help

[JackC]

Hey Guys,

So I've been studying many different techniques from many pua books and I'm currently stuck in a situation where I can use help. I have a terrible memory so I don't remember a lot of what I read.

Here is the situation:

I met this girl a couple months back that I really wanted; at first she had a boyfriend so I let her slide until they split up. As soon as they split I immediately used every technique I learned and I succeeded not long after I kiss closed and a little more. We were steady for 2-3 weeks and two days she forces me to tell where everything was going. She already established we were together but not yet a couple a week ago. I say considering were together the direction would be a couple she answers she's not looking for a boy friend or a hookup buddy and that we should stop. I say ok and I ignore her for a day and a half. Today she texts me (not me her) saying she wants to continue being close friends just without the hooking up. I told her I'd talk to her after work.

So far I plan on using Ross Jeffries response:

I don't promise any such thing. Friends don't put each other into boxes like that. The only thing I'll promise is never to do anything unless you and I both feel totally comfortable, willing, and ready"

or saying yes but not following up with her.

Someone please help me figure out my next step, honestly I want this girl back I like her a lot.

Thanks,

JackC

 

[Igetit!]

Here is the situation:

I met this girl a couple months back that I really wanted; at first she had a boyfriend so I let her slide until they split up. As soon as they split I immediately used every technique I learned and I succeeded not long after I kiss closed and a little more. We were steady for 2-3 weeks and two days she forces me to tell where everything was going.

Ok,you see the part of your post I put in bold?

What does that mean?


What do you mean by "she forced you to tell where everything was going"? And more importantly,WHAT DID YOU SAY?

She already established we were together but not yet a couple a week ago.

SHE established? I think I'm beginning to see why things turned out the way they did.


She's in control of everything.


You say,"She forced you to do this..." and "She established that...".


Ok question:What did YOU do? Were you just a passenger sitting there as she directed everything?



That would certainly explain her pulling the LJBF card on you.

That's also why the two of you spending time together never got defined as a "relationship". She called it "getting together". You know why?


Because a relationship requires commitment. Also,when a relationship ends there has to be a breakup.


With a "get together",it's just come and go as you please. Also,there can be no cheating with "get togethers" because you two aren't commited to one another.





Women are attracted to superior man,men who have some kind of authority over them,even if the guy just acts that way. You started off ok,but somewhere along the line,you slipped up,EMOTIONALLY she felt it,so she didn't want to be "a couple" with you.




She might get together from time to time just for sex,but as far as anything like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship,no,at least not at the moment.

I say considering were together the direction would be a couple she answers she's not looking for a boy friend or a hookup buddy and that we should stop.

Again,she's in control. Why aren't the two of you discussing what YOU want or what YOU"RE looking for?


Also,the subject of being a couple or having a relationship should NEVER HAVE COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

I say ok and I ignore her for a day and a half.

This was actaully a good thing to do.

Today she texts me (not me her) saying she wants to continue being close friends just without the hooking up.

So far I plan on using Ross Jeffries response:

I don't promise any such thing. Friends don't put each other into boxes like that. The only thing I'll promise is never to do anything unless you and I both feel totally comfortable, willing, and ready"

or saying yes but not following up with her.

I like the second option of saying yes and not following up on it.

Forget the Ross Jeffries line. It sounds rehearsed. Don't say that.


Just say "ok" to her wanting to be close friends,then forget all about her. Don't call her,text her,or try to spend time with her. If she calls you,say "what's up?" and ask her how she's doing,and other EMOTIONLESS chitchat,but try to end the call as soon as possible.


Don't be mean,angry,or upset with her,and DON'T IGNORE HER.


I repeat...DO NOT IGNORE HER.



If she tries to speak to you,talk with her,but DO NOT APPROACH HER FIRST to talk,and try to end all conversations as soon as you can.


I'd pursue other girls. This way you might find another girl who you really like,plus if this girl calls you as asks you what you're doing or what you've been up to,you can tell her about this "new girl" you just met.



The "new girl" line will inspire jealousy in her and possibly compell her to try to see you again.

 

[JackC]

Don Juans the Efing man

First I'd like to apologize because I don' know how to do the block quotes and tank you for your help it is sincerely appreciated.

We were steady for 2-3 weeks and two days she forces me to tell where everything was going.

"Ok,you see the part of your post I put in bold?

What does that mean?"

We started hooking up 3 weeks ago and have continued on a regular basis since and speaking regularly as well.


"What do you mean by "she forced you to tell where everything was going"? And more importantly,WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

I said I liked where it was going I answered where ever it goes and to stop worrying so much.

You are completely right she had control, I didn't even notice I let the control slip away and I need to figure out how to regain it.

"Ok question:What did YOU do? Were you just a passenger sitting there as she directed everything?"

What I did is I began as I should've with the negs, open her up, and escalated with kino and eventually taking it to a kiss close.

The reason she had never defined the relationship is she had made it clear beforehand that she is not looking for a boyfriend and I said I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. However, I only said that to make it easier for us to escalate.

---------

I had not seen your response until after I had spoken to her that night. I text her when I got home saying I'd call her after I showered she didn't respond so I didn't bother calling. An hour later she text asking if I called I said yes and got VM so I told her to call me or we can meet in person. She replied saying she doesn't know if she has time to meet so I said ok and not to call too late I was going out soon. She called about 20 mins later and I had been out dropping off a friend so I answered in my car. We started talking basic chit chat and mentioning here and there that we should discuss why she wanted to speak but we past over it again and again. About 30 mins in I told her let get to the reason why were talking.
She finally asked if we could stay friends
I said yea sure no problem.
She responded saying I don't mean hi bye friend but close friends meaning we talk and hang like we do now.
I answered saying yea sure (basically emotionless).
She didn't wanted to accept my answer she then asked how I feel?
I said you understand I like you and your clearly too afraid to admit you like me but I know for a fact you do, let do this forget completely the things that happened the past couple days and well take a step back. We will continue the same way we are now just for now I won't kiss you until you and I are ready, comfortable, and willing. I'm not going to say were friend and I won't say were more. We can just let thing go and well see along the way what happens. Again, we are not friend and for now we aren't more.
She then asked again how I feel.
I answered saying lets just continue how we were and for now I won't kiss you. Everything exactly the same just no kissing for now.
(I have every intention of kissing her again but I think that once I'm with her I can build to the kiss as I did the first time.)
She finally accepted my answer and we continued speaking and I ended the conversation 20 mins later saying I need to go.
For the past 2 days I did not initiate any conversations with her, she had initiated and I spoke with her for a while and I always ended the conversations.
Today she initiated conversation and we texted for maybe two hours. She invited me to hang out with a couple people tonight.

This is where I am now. I know the post is very lengthy but I wanted you to get the best understanding of the situation.

Thanks again for the help.

JackC

 

[JackC]

I left out that when we spoke on the phone after we cleared up that we were to continue from where we left off just without kissing I mentioned I hadn't seen paranormal activity yet she said she didn't either so i said ok we can see it Sunday. She agreed and then I said to invite people who didn't see it to come she asked if I was afraid to see it alone with her I responded saying in a joking way yes, I can't trust you alone in a dark theater you might rape me. We laughed and I teased her a little more.