LJBF, let's also have sex, but let's be real friends.

[PowerCat]

This girl wants to be friend, a classic scenario.

But she is sincere about it, she despises girly girls because they don't share much in common with her.

And from what she's told me, she hates guys who put her on a pedestral and do everything for her.
I've known her for a few days.
She clearly shows interest, and we even had sex.
But, outside of that bed night, the other 2 days we hung together all I got was lots of cuddle/touch and a kiss on the forehead when we were done playing pool (she sat on my thigh when I was sitting and kissed me on the forehead)
The day after she left my place, she told me on msn that she missed me and enjoyed my company.
She doesnt want a relationship, something about her exes being abusive and she stopped trusting people.
When we went to the restaurant, we paied our own things. (except when I sneaked to the cashier to pay)

Is this a classic case of LJBF and I'll never get a relationship with her?
Is she just scared?
Should I keep hanging out with her, see if I earn her trust?
Should I just forget about a relationship with her and see elsewhere?
She told me her cell phone number but I didn't call yet.
Should I call?
Should I just take her out to dates?
arg!

 

[Oscar Wilde]

wow, sounds great, keep sleeping with her (just make sure you're "covered").

What problem? I don't see a problem?

Keep dating others and do not suffer from the dreaded 1-itis

Osc.

 

[PowerCat]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
wow, sounds great, keep sleeping with her (just make sure you're "covered").


Well I havent seen her again yet. I'll see how that goes if she spends the night again.


What problem? I don't see a problem?


Here's the problem:
She truly is a smart woman,
She has a accent-less english (both our mother tongues are french, I have a slight accent but not enough to show I'm french)
She knows computers/networks (she has a business in networking)/life/lots of things.
She is truly a woman I'd spend a lot of time with. Fun to chat with, always something to say.

[/B]


Keep dating others and do not suffer from the dreaded 1-itis


"keep dating others"
I'm 21 and the last time I had a girlfriend I was 17. It lasted one month.
My self esteem is close to nil. I spent the last 5 years of my life playing PC games and avoiding social interactions.
Luckily I've discovered the shuma gora book and the DJ bible. Great stuff.

[/B]
Osc. [/B]

 

[Oscar Wilde]

yeah, now read all that stuff, over and over until you get it!

 

[Quick]

She has issues that she needs to work through. That may never happen. For now, you should accept what she offers, and not worry about changing it. If you try to force a relationship that she can't handle, she'll either run or it won't be good. Take what she offers. Call her up and hang out with her occasionally. Have sex occasionally. If you had sex, and she still shows interest, it's not the classic LJBF.

Remember that your level of desire can't make someone into something they're not. No matter how great she is and the potential you see in her, she has to work on the intimacy and trust issues all by herself. You can't push any magic buttons. You can be steady, and show her through actions that if she does want to try again that you're there. You can't get too focused on that as a goal, though. You need to date other people, and assume that you're never going to get any more out of her than she is telling you is possible. If you want a relationship and the chance for a relationship comes up with someone else, take it.

 

[PowerCat]

Wow guys I understood everything. How could I have been so blinded by oneitis.

But I still need to work on confidence and self esteem.