LJBF ed at the first date?!?!

[Sneevox]

what should i do now that i decided to NC:
-dont answer
-answer cold

Dunno which chose coz sometimes i read to not answer and sometimes to be cold

You don't answer no matter what unless this chick has something that you need, which she doesn't. In that sense, I mean she could be the one paying the electric bill to your apartment while you're paying the water bill, etc. etc.

Answering cold is also used for wives.

So since you're not living with this chick and she's not your wife/girlfriend, just don't answer until you deem it necessary.

NC is usually used to get over a chick and at the same time bring her back, but a lot of people use it to bring the girl back. I'd say give it enough time to where she's basically begging for you to hang out, and then hang out.

When I say "basically", I mean basically. Not literally. People need a figurative time to believe that there is a change in a person. If you fvcked up the first date by buying for her and then you decide to not be a pvssy the very next day, she will not even believe that you're not a pvssy. However, if you give it maybe 2 weeks since that's (maybe) the only pvssy-like thing to do, it'll probably give a bit of slack for you to work with.

YA KNOW?

Just try not to overthink it. Go NC, and talk to her when you're ready. I would avoid talking to her on the occasion that she initiates contact, though, because that (though subtle) can say that you're willing to respond to her orders. I know it sounds stupid as fvck, but it's the little things.

 

[Sneevox]

Ignore and move on. Jeez. This isn't calculus.

Not calculus, but a life philosophy. You realize that if you over-simplify and you don't say WHY you should do these things, people will just begin doing it as a formula rather than actually knowing the reason?
It's better to know the reason, THEN formulate these little plans such as "NC". That's the REASON NC was created, afterall.

 

[matt86]

You don't answer no matter what unless this chick has something that you need, which she doesn't. In that sense, I mean she could be the one paying the electric bill to your apartment while you're paying the water bill, etc. etc.

Answering cold is also used for wives.

So since you're not living with this chick and she's not your wife/girlfriend, just don't answer until you deem it necessary.

NC is usually used to get over a chick and at the same time bring her back, but a lot of people use it to bring the girl back. I'd say give it enough time to where she's basically begging for you to hang out, and then hang out.

When I say "basically", I mean basically. Not literally. People need a figurative time to believe that there is a change in a person. If you fvcked up the first date by buying for her and then you decide to not be a pvssy the very next day, she will not even believe that you're not a pvssy. However, if you give it maybe 2 weeks since that's (maybe) the only pvssy-like thing to do, it'll probably give a bit of slack for you to work with.

YA KNOW?

Just try not to overthink it. Go NC, and talk to her when you're ready. I would avoid talking to her on the occasion that she initiates contact, though, because that (though subtle) can say that you're willing to respond to her orders. I know it sounds stupid as fvck, but it's the little things.

thx for the answer !! i mean its always hard to cut the contacts when the girl try to contact you!!
I would just disappear i think

 

[matt86]

Today she texted me...she said she was hungry and was going to q place to eat sonething
She was basically waiting for me to tell i come with you
I didnt answered her...but if she continue like this it will be really hard!!

 

[Zarky]

It's called an "extinction burst" on her part. Look it up.

Just ignore her and she'll move on. She only wants attention from you. If you bite, she'll shoot you down again.

 

[matt86]

Some news on this topic...
Basically i've tried the NC with her... But she was always texting me and calling me with unknown number to make me answer...after a 3-4 day i wasnt replaying her she admitted she was missing me we went out (2 july) but she was still was asking me to become friend...i told her no and i went with NC again...she texted me everyday telling me where she was going ecc so we could meet...i never answered her and never met her...
Today, after i didn't answer, she told me basically i have too much pride and i could answer her sometimes, and that i should be ashamed of muself...and than she say bye!

Basically she always try to provoke me ( like today) after i didnt answer her for some days and until now i always answered her and so we restarted talking...

Today i didn't replied and so dunno now
I really cant understand her...we dont know eachother but she want to became my best friend, she cant stay a day without writhing me but she don t want us to be more than friends...

I really have no problem with girls in this days but u know...u always want what u cant have...any advice guys???

For the record in the meantime i went out with 2 girls and she discovered it

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You made a lot of mistakes, but the main thing i wanted to point out is:

You took her words to literally.

Girls are so fickle by nature, they have no idea what they want from one day to the next.

Never put too much stock in a woman's words. Watch her actions, they tell you all you need to know.

In other words, you don't need to pridefully refute her when she says she only wants to be friends. Just ignore it and work your game on her. Touch her, flirt with her, make her jealous etc.

You have a bigger problem though.

You don't understand how the game works, you don't understand how attraction is properly built and lastly you've put this girl on a pedestal all because of her looks.

The fact that she gets so rattled when you ignore her is typical for a girl like this.

But it also communicates to her that you are bitter and butt-hurt.

The fact that you implemented NC, then started answering her calls and hanging out with her again tells her that your a weak man. You continue to give her value based on nothing.

With all this said, many people like yourself need to learn through hitting rock bottom, rather than just listening to advice on a message board.

And we know that's what your going to do anyways.

So with that in mind my advice would be to start flirting with her. Then ignore some of her texts, then hang out with her, then other times tell her your busy and can't make it. This is the only way she will start to gain some interest in you.

Women like men who are a challenge.

They want what they can't have. Right now she knows she can have you.

So like a piece of yarn to a cat, you are simply there to pass the time.

Become more elusive, make her work for your time & attention and then make a move.








PIMP

 

[Cremasta]

Ok, I'm confused here. What's your endgame?
Do you want to try to get with her again, or are you cutting her out entirely.

If you're cutting her out, then just don't talk to her again.

If you want to get with her again, you'll need to eventually take her calls and let her back in the game.

One way you could do that is when she next calls you, just answer with "Hey, what's up?" like nothing has happened and let things begin from the start again.
This will confuse her and she won't know what's going on.
THIS time though, she will need to make it clear that she's open to something more than just being friends. If she keeps up with the LJBF, just tell her straight up "Look, that's not what I want here, so I think we'll just call it a day here."

 

[zinc4]

You made a ton of mistakes, but i am not 100 percent convinced she doesn't have any physical attraction for you....some girls who have recently been pumped and dumped or cheated rampantly on throw out the friends thing as a test to see if you are planning on using her only for sex or not......that being said, you still should have never gone out on the first date but you did and your biggest mistake besides all the texting of course was not going for the kiss...you have wasted so much time and energy with this one girl...that's why if it were me....

I would send one more text saying that the only way only way she can redeem herself is to come over to your house tonight with a 6 pack of beer.....and as soon as she gets there have a movie on and within 10 mins or whenever you are finished enjoying some beer, have one of your hands on her thighs and then turn her face to kiss you and be aggressive about it.....and if she rejects more than once...kick her out right there on the spot and keep no contact.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I would send one more text saying that the only way only way she can redeem herself is to come over to your house tonight with a 6 pack of beer....

That won't work for him because its not congruent at all with his character.

I do agree with you, that there is likely some base level attraction on her part, but his lack of game around her and taking everything she says to heart keeps killing his momentum.

He's way too outcome dependent, or at least he was back when he originally made this thread.

OP what's your goal here? Are you trying to smash and get your ego fix? Do you want to date this girl? Or do you just want to know that you can have her now?










PIMP

 

[BigSmooth]

Her words =/= her actions

She either likes you but doesn't want to outright say it...or she's just a dumb bvtch.


You have two options next time you see her OP.

1) Physically Escalate and Kiss Her

2) Cvnt Punt her

 

[matt86]

ok guys thx for all your answer

First thing my goal with her:

I like her and i would like to go out with her not just to have her for a **** buddy.

Like someone said if i hope to get her i will have to break the NC answering her.
But that is what i did before... i didnt answered her for a week...than she sent a text that was like this on a sunday (30 june) "i have to admit i miss you ( lets note that she never told me before she was missin me or she was somewhat tied with me...before i told her a lot of time go text some other why u want to be friend with me and text me every day, u miss me so much?!! she answered like u re not special at all i text with a lot other people), i always have a lot of fun with u ecc...i know u wont answer to this text and some other stuff"
After this text we talked a bit and we went out but she restarted with the same friend stuff before the date and also during...
And so i started the NC again but this time my idea was to answer her only if she get back seriously or else go on cause it seem the only choice to me...

I really cant understand this girl....at first i tought she hadn't a lot of friends, and so wanted me as one...but than i saw she has a lot of girl and man around her, so this is not the case. But she prefer going out with me than going with them and thats strange
Sometimes she is also jealous (she texted "u went out with your friends last saturday and banged half city" i answered "not half, just one") and she want to get approvation for me like asking me if i like something ecc...naturally i neveranswer her and i change the topic

She see me like a jerk, but she also want to keep in touch with me because she thing i'm a fun guy, she like that i became a lawyer ecc

In conclusion now she is angry with me coz i didnt answered her for more than a week, but knowing her she will probably try to talk me and excuse herself for being rude in her last text...
when i will get that text the thing are 2:
I continue NC until she cry to talk with me again :crackup: or she forget about me
i answer her and i fix a date...but i'm sure that she will be like all the other times....she will make clear before we meet that she's only a friend ecc...like she always does

so that's it hope u understood something about the situation

 

[Kailex]

Here's what I understand about this situation:

#1: You have her on a pedestal. Listen buddy, you can try to talk yourself out of this one, but it's not happening. This situation is already way too complicated and for all that effort and anguish, and frustration, you have absolutely nothing to show for it.

#2: You made a plethora of mistakes and at this point, trying to reframe this is more trouble than its worth because as soon as you "break NC" (which you technically have already done)... you'll go all chump on her and she'll ditch you.

#3: When she said she was hungry and going to get something to eat, she wanted YOU to take her somewhere and pay for it. Sorry, but this is exactly why I NEVER, EVER, NEVER do food dates with women. I get more sense of accomplishment taking a homeless person out to McDonalds and handing them over a #6. Also, sitting across a table with someone else REALLY kills the chance to establish some kino. It's ALWAYS a terrible idea. I do dinner dates with women after a few months of going out.

#4: Is she really this hot that you've gone out with 2 other women, but still you want to update this thread a whole month and a half after? Gimme a break.

#5: Why are you so hung up on what she is SAYING? She's either trying to establish a boundary for you to cross or for you NOT to cross, but you aren't trying to discover which one it is. You're so stuck on arguing back and forth whether you want to be a friend of not, that you're not actually doing anything about it.

#6: It's not a "date" if she's calling you a friend...

#7: "Hang out" with her once more, and will you please TRY SOMETHING for the sake of your own sanity? And NO dinner dates. You already said she knows you are a lawyer. You didn't acquire student debt and put yourself through law school just to be someone else's meal ticket. Have some pride man. You go out once more and bloody kiss her already.

This does NOT need to be complicated. YOU are complicating it.

 

[matt86]

If she wanted to go out as "friends" ahe should have paid for her own meal. After all, that is what "friends" do. If she didn't pay for her own, then she used you to test the waters and see if she wanted more. If she didn't like you? Oh well, got a free meal. There are women who do this several times a week. Wake up boys! Keep us posted, I am curious about this one.

at first i tought so too...but than when i got to know her i understood that she rellay need me but as a friend, and that's strange coz we dont know each other and she doesnt have any guy around.

Btw for now i think i'll wait her next text, cos she will probably apologize...this friday there is an exclusive private party and probably we will be both there...that will be fun

 

[elitemulk]

I really cant understand this girl.

If it smells like bs its bs. If you have a good time hanging with her, stop whining that she wont be your girlfriend and just enjoy the good time. Move on to some other piece of ass. I never understand people on this site that go to great lengths and put up with so much crap to get some *****, theres plenty of women outthere, play the numbers.

 

[matt86]

Tonight i will go to that party, with one of my friend and two girl...
She will be there probably...any suggestion how to behave?? I should ignore her or talk with her if she come to me?

 

[floydb25]

This is a classic case of getting caught up in the challenge, and wanting what you can't have. All you're doing is making things out to be bigger than they are, fighting a losing battle, and over-complicating things for yourself. You're obsessed, analyzing every detail, looking for that one tell-tale sign that she likes you... getting caught up in what you perceive to be "tests", and trying to win her over with all this game BS. Maybe thinking she's afraid or not ready; looking into her past...

It's all a waste of time. She's not interested in more than friendship, and told you that from the start. This does NOT mean she doesn't want YOU to lose interest, and act like a placeholder boyfriend, or dinner guy she hangs out- and feeds her ego with.

It's not this complicated or confusing when someone is into you. There aren't all these mixed messages - which you're just creating for yourself, and throwing yourself into. Of course she wants you to remain interested in her... doesn't mean she likes you back. Otherwise, it wouldn't be this difficult; she wouldn't say LJBF; reject your physical advances (ie, kissing); etc. She might still act "flirty and friendly", allow you to "kino", act jealous when you date other girls, and try to keep you under her wing at all times... but unless she's into you - there won't be much else... You'll end up with a pseudo-relationship at best - where it feels like you're dating, except not. Blah blah.

Seriously... this **** is a waste of time, and the bishes who do this are dumb, insecure, and immature. They live for retarded **** like this... playing games, confusing people, causing problems and drama - then asking "are you mad?" when you tell them to **** off - after messing around and trying to lure you back in...

**** all that grade school BS.