LJBF comeback *seems to be a recent problem for a few*

[Chromeo]

Ok boys

I just got a LJBF from a girl I had been sleeping with. This is probably Different than most with this problem. Happened within a matter of a week and a half but started after only three days. Went from her:"hey Baby, come over I have the place to myself" on Thursday and grabbing my ass at the bar sat to me:"hey my roomates outa town for the week, come over and eat some strawberries with me" on wed. She Was not interested, thought I had done something wrong, pried with little response until finally I got the LJBF her: "I think we are on different pages, maybe we shouldn't be hooking up" me:"well I have plenty of friends, later"

sent her a message later that day "woah, we were definitely on wrong pages. Thought you were lookin for something more, when I didn't hear from you I thought you were pissed off at me. Sorry for gettin upset but Im sick of relationship bull**** too and just want to have fun. I would like to keep seeing you I think your a fun chick to hang out with and fun in bed. Let me know what's good."

what I will be doin now is not talking to her for a while which is what any of you other guys should also do.

Basically there are two reasons a guy gets the LJBF
1. Oneitis which equals neediness (in my case)
2. Lack of attraction

To have any chance at fixing this, #2 being much more difficult and will take more time if at all possible. About 90% of the time it won't be, and not because it can't but because you guys won't have the right mindset.
DO NOT CONTACT her until you KNOW you are ready to get her if you don't find somethin better by then. Very few of you will have the will power to change immediately, on the same note you will come off as not being yourself, so it is key to break contact for a while, especially if you got the oneitis. If it's a lower ranking plate, then hey you got a new wing girl! In all honesty you should chalk up all these woman as friends and just say next and improve your game, guess what that LJBF girl may come around when she sees you getting other woman, and if not whatever you got other girls. But most you guys will still be rabid with oneitis

 

[Chromeo]

whatever it doesnt matter. Maybe it came off wrong but basically I was trying to convey 1. I have enough friends 2. I dont play games 3. this was a misunderstanding and I would like to still have fun with you. I wont be contacting her so whatever. I said what I needed to say. Focus on the message, next these girls when you F up. You rarely succeed the first time. You have to practice to be good at something and pick yourself up when you fall and try again.

 

[kingsam]

why did you even bother sending her that message, apart form your ego trying to "save face" (to yourself), she dont care at all ....

 

[Chromeo]

Ok sure message wasnt maybe the best idea. Was trying to be straight up, cuz it seemed like a big misunderstanding. But the vibes been killed, Ive actually done this to woman before, things were good and then the next day felt they were clingin and I told them peace. So I should have realized what I was doing. Im feel like this is been a breakthru point for me, I can talk to woman, I can get numbers, I can build attraction and get dates, now I just need to know how to keep one around when I find one worth it. This one was worth it, I ****ed it up, but I know why and I wont make that mistake again, now on to the next one... while spinning plates of course

 

[ENIGMA16]

Maybe it came off wrong but basically I was trying to convey 1. I have enough friends 2. I dont play games 3. this was a misunderstanding and I would like to still have fun with you.

If you had enough friends and you didn't play games then you would not have sent that in the first place. You should've just went straight NC.

 

[Kailex]

Ok boys

I just got a LJBF from a girl I had been sleeping with. This is probably Different than most with this problem. Happened within a matter of a week and a half but started after only three days. Went from her:"hey Baby, come over I have the place to myself" on Thursday and grabbing my ass at the bar sat to me:"hey my roomates outa town for the week, come over and eat some strawberries with me" on wed. She Was not interested, thought I had done something wrong, pried with little response until finally I got the LJBF her: "I think we are on different pages, maybe we shouldn't be hooking up" me:"well I have plenty of friends, later"

This is where you should have stopped and NEXT her.

sent her a message later that day "woah, we were definitely on wrong pages. Thought you were lookin for something more, when I didn't hear from you I thought you were pissed off at me. Sorry for gettin upset but Im sick of relationship bull**** too and just want to have fun. I would like to keep seeing you I think your a fun chick to hang out with and fun in bed. Let me know what's good."

And then you did THIS.

You sent her a message later... the SAME day after you said: Fvck off.
Saying all of THAT.

Looking for something more? Like what? Such vague terms.

You told her that you are sick of relationship bull**** right after you say: I thought you were looking for something more.

I don't know, I don't even feel like dissecting the rest of this...
I just hope you really did learn from this and won't make the same mistake again.

 

[Chromeo]

ok see this is why text is so flawed from actual conversation.

I thought she was coming on to me and starting look for something more and then total dis interest so I thought I did something to make her mad, because i was just having fun talking to other girls getting numbers and what not.

I wanted to just keep it fun and light, because we both just got out of relationships.

I thought she was starting to play girl relationship games and that got me pissed cuz I thought we were keeping it fun and light.

If that was the case I wanted to know what was up and say hey, I apologize for that, im a free bird but i didnt mean to upset you.

but this was not the case, the case actually was somewhere her IL dropped significantly in a very short period of time. Im guessing it was me going to bed with her when she warned me she was super exhausted, passed out drunk because I figured she wasnt down to bang and layed in bed with her till about 2pm the next day just goofin around. I should have just sent her home alone that night.

what I should have just done after that is backed off, like you guys originally said. But I worked myself up about it, talking to my buddys, who are good with women but obviously still dont get it, told me to just be straight forward and ask what was up. If I hadnt talked to her since leaving her place sunday, probably a guarantee she would have picked up the phone by now to see where I had gone.

instead she smelled oneitis all over me, and tossed me to the birds


so guys, when it seems like shes not interested, shes not, go find something else to do and make her wonder what your up to.

 

[ENIGMA16]

I thought she was starting to play girl relationship games and that got me pissed cuz I thought we were keeping it fun and light.

There is no such thing as "relationship games". They are games that girls play all the time, 24/7, both in and out of relationships.

so guys, when it seems like shes not interested, shes not, go find something else to do and make her wonder what your up to.

Exactly! This is the ridiculousness behind this whole thing, and it blows my mind as to why guys fall for it. Let's analyze this for a second:

A girl you've been seeing for a while suddenly seems to have lost all interest. She either hardly responds or doesn't respond at all to phone calls, texts, etc... What happened? One of two things have happened here. Either she has legitimately lost interest in you, or she is giving you a sh!t test. If the former, then there is really no point in further pursuing and you move on; if the latter, then the only way to pass is to stop giving her attention and to "move on". Either way the solution is the same. If a girl shows a low interest level in you then move on. This way you're guaranteed to pass if it's a sh!t test and guaranteed to not waste your time with her if it's not.

 

[Chromeo]

There is no such thing as "relationship games". They are games that girls play all the time, 24/7, both in and out of relationships.

relationship games as in, I want to be in a relationship with you so im pissed your talking to other women and not giving me your full attention.


but ya backing off would have been the perfect solution

 

[In$tinct]

Very few of you will have the will power to change immediately, on the same note you will come off as not being yourself, so it is key to break contact for a while.

This is a very true statement. I changed everything about myself so quickly after my break-up, (Most obvious was losing 65lbs in 4 months) when I did reestablish contact, she didn’t believe it was I, that it was all show.