ljbf, but we keep hooking up!

[pdxjig]

Ok, so I have a lady friend and we seem to have established a recurring pattern. We get close over a few months, hookup, and then she gets scared and says LJBF, but then after a cool down we start building up tension and it happens again.

So here we are again. I am quite fond of her, but I don't want just friendship, and I can see this pattern playing itself out again. In fact it seems that part of the reason we are such close friends is because of this tension between us, so it has never really been "lets just be friends". I know what you're thinking. Move on, forget about it, etc... but you know, I can't help myself, and I don't really want to forget about it.

It would be nice to see one of these cycles end in a LTR, because we get along that well. She is obviously being very fickle, so I wonder if putting my foot down and saying "no more" would make her more decisive.

 

[Stuntmann]

Yes it will.


In LJBF situation, proper thing is to say let's not, or otherwise remove yourself from her for an extended period of time. In several months you're a stranger for her. You can then start over.


In your case, you have something similar to that, on a smaller level. Obviously you're not a stranger for her, because she don't have enough men in her life.


If you cease it with her for a much longer period of time, let's say a year, you will have that fresh start opportunity. During this time no contact over phone, e-mail, in person, or any kind. In fact, you date other people.... Pushing her away, creates attraction.


Should you proceed now with being her friend, or whatever you could be for her other than lover, you will end this cycle and end up with a woman that is your friend or otherwise has low interest level for you romantically.


Best thing, is to move on to other great things. This is because there is no telling if after a year you'd still like her, or if after a year she'd decides she wants something much more with you than a small fling. See my point? Waste of your life on things that aren't under your control. During this year you have no other choice but to date other people. Hopefully you date several women a week.


You can easily justify this to yourself, because you need to have top notch seduction skills if in a year you want to seduce her so well that this time she'd want you as something more.

 

[pdxjig]

Yes it will.


In LJBF situation, proper thing is to say let's not, or otherwise remove yourself from her for an extended period of time. In several months you're a stranger for her. You can then start over.


In your case, you have something similar to that, on a smaller level. Obviously you're not a stranger for her, because she don't have enough men in her life.


If you cease it with her for a much longer period of time, let's say a year, you will have that fresh start opportunity. During this time no contact over phone, e-mail, in person, or any kind. In fact, you date other people.... Pushing her away, creates attraction.


Should you proceed now with being her friend, or whatever you could be for her other than lover, you will end this cycle and end up with a woman that is your friend or otherwise has low interest level for you romantically.


Best thing, is to move on to other great things. This is because there is no telling if after a year you'd still like her, or if after a year she'd decides she wants something much more with you than a small fling. See my point? Waste of your life on things that aren't under your control. During this year you have no other choice but to date other people. Hopefully you date several women a week.


You can easily justify this to yourself, because you need to have top notch seduction skills if in a year you want to seduce her so well that this time she'd want you as something more.

Sounds advice, and basically what I was already thinking. Thanks.