Living with her for the summer...

[Love_Games?!?]

Guys, give me your opinion on this. My gf is torn between staying here where she goes to school with me for the summer or going back where all her friends are which is across the country.

I recently found out that her parents even think it would be best for her to go back home because she doesn't know anyone except me here and they are afraid she wouldn't have a good summer.

This is somewhat insulting to me... but I can understand her wanting to be around her friends. In the beginning we talked about me possibly going with her to work and live together. She recently seems to think this might not be the best idea because she's afraid we will get sick of each other if we live together for that duration of time.

I'll be honest, if she goes back home I would get to see her maybe once over the summer for nothing more then a week. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to be apart from her for this long especially knowing that her long-term ex is out there. From my perspective I have two options...

1. Tell her to grow up and take risks and we move in together for the summer.

2. We break up... because I wouldn't be able to be apart from her for that duration it would drive me crazy. I'm not insanely jealous but when she goes away for periods of time I can tell you it isn't very fun for me.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

 

[Ease]

This isnt your decision.

Dont be clingy. If she leaves, you get to have 2 months of complete freedom to do as you wish.

If she stays, you get to have 2 months of gf time.

 

[Love_Games?!?]

It would actually be 4 months...

 

[Tiguere]

Send her home... And treat this as a test. This is your chance to find out if she is worth long term.

 

[Commandante]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4

NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren't married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

You are utterly powerless in this situation. NEVER buy a home with a girlfriend, NEVER sign a rental lease with a girlfriend. NEVER agree to move into her home and absolutely NEVER move a woman into your own established living arrangement. I'm adamantly opposed to the "shacking up" dynamic, it is a trap that far too many men allow themselves to fall into. My fervor agianst this isn't based on some moral issue, it it simple pragmatism. I know a fellow right now who is in the pit of misery with a girl he signed an apartment lease with for a year and has had to basically live with his ex for the past 5 months and wont get out of the lease until May. If you live with a woman you may as well be married because upon doing so every liability and accountability of marriage is then in effect. You not only lose any freedom of annonymity you commit to, legally, being responsible for the continuation of your living arrangements regardless of how your relationship decays.

I should also emphasize the point that when you commit (and it is a financial committment) to cohabiting with a GF you will notice a marked decrease in her sexual availability and desire, trust me on this. All of that competitive anxiety and it's resulting sexual tension that made your single sex life so great is removed from her shoulders and she can comfortably relax in the knowledge that she is your ONLY source of sexual intimacy. Putting your name on that lease with her (even if it's just your name) is akin to signing an insurance polcy for her - "I the undersigned promise not to fukk any woman but this girl for a one year term." She thinks, "if he wasn't serious about me, he wouldn't have signed the lease." Now all of that impetus and energy that made having marathon sex with you an outright necessity is relaxed. She controls the frame and she's got it in writing that it is for at least a year.

Just don't do it. Relationships last best when you spin more plates or at the very least keep each other at arm's distance. Look how this applies to your situation here.

What else left to say?

Send her home, fvck another hotties!

Ps.: If she is thinking even for a second about going home, she doesn´t deserved more.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

LDR scenarios are a rock and a hard place, but it's always best to face these circumstances and make a decision now instead of dragging it out and wasting more of your time.

So what are your choices?

1. Crawl up each other's ass, end up hating each other by the time the summer's over because she doesn't know anyone and you will get sick to death of each other. Then break up.

2. Go LDR, waste your time talking on the phone and wondering what she's doing at night (hint: women are somewhat predictable, your fears will be correct). Drag it out, avoid the pain of breaking up today so you can have an even nastier breakup later after cheating and disrespect rear their ugly heads.

My last LTR (5 years) ended a year ago after going LDR for the last year of it. My only regret? Not breaking up as soon as she announced she was moving. And that was only an hour away! You say yours is going to the other side of the country...fuhget about it!

With what I have to go on, you are well-advised to end this deal.

 

[Jondo]

No way. I wouldn't even think of moving in.