live alone, thinking of getting a roommate

[rbd]

Hey guys,

I've had a house by myself for the better part of 5 years. Great place, I've done a lot to fix it up and really like it. However I have to spare rooms and was thinking about getting a roommate. Don't need one to make the mortgage payments (the extra $600 or so a month would definitely help, however).

I've had numerous roommates in the past, both male and female. For the most part it worked out. Never had one at a place I owned however. If I did get one, I'd try to aim for the normal things: clean, respectful, non-crazy, etc. I'm 28, so I was thinking a guy or girl in the 23-32 range. My friends all have places, so this would probably have to end up being someone I didn't know.

The reasons for it (at least in my mind): I'm recently out of a soul sucking relationship and realized my circle of friends is a bit anemic, with folks marrying or moving away. Plus, I normally like the company of someone to watch TV with, talk about things with, etc.

The main things against it are someone with a bunch of creepy/skeezy friends that scope out my place, someone who ends up being a crazy timebomb, someone with a boyfriend/girlfriend that stays over all the time, and so on. Most of these could be covered in the renters agreement (i.e. if your bf/gf stays over more than X days per month, they owe me $X, and I can evict you on X, Y, and Z if I want to.)

Anyone who was in a similar situation have any feedback one way or the other?

Thanks.

 

[Bluntmaster]

I live alone and I have a townhouse. A roommate would save me a ton of money but I decided not to do it. Privacy is more important than a roommate because my living space would require a roommate to be in my business all the time.

So to that, I say next.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear RBD,
For your mental health while you are between Girls a boarder is great....My experience long and varied is first,don't get a Woman.....No you are in a very vulnerable position if she wants to get her hooks into you,and they are so fussy!....generally two basic choices,a safe one,that is a younger Man,a Student for preference,with assured cash flow and no Girl,preferably no Car,make sure he is physically easy to handle,because things are always nice as Pie at first,but can get ugly.....The second option takes more skill and can present bigger problems,but potentially greater advantages,get a Guy round your own age similar habits and likable,he should have a diversity of Friends,preferably lots of Ladies.In short a functioning Don Juan....You should have similar habits,food preferences and he should be clean and domesticated....This is a hard call,I achieved once so long ago with a perfect Mate,Silly Bvugger me I stole his Girl,he didn't like it and gave me a Good hiding,I deserved it,he had to go,sad because before that the House was always full of lovely Women,plus he belonged at great expense to a Dating Service that sent him a New Girl every Week or so....His rejects were just so Sweet.

 

[mrRuckus]

Plus, I normally like the company of someone to watch TV with, talk about things with, etc.

I wouldn't count on that. I've had lots of roommates and I go in thinking it'll be super cool and it never seems to work out that way. People do their own thing, or you'll get a weirdo that never leaves his room or something.

 

[Colossus]

You never know with roommates. I posted about it this in another recent thread.

I've also lived with many different people; some of them great, some not so great. The problem is with relative strangers is that it is a straight-up gamble. Given that you own the place, you have the leverage, but you dont want to be in the position of having to ask someone to leave or coming home to roommate tension every night---that sucks. For me, the biggest things are the people they bring over---bf/gf, sketchball friends, etc---and cleanliness. Cleanliness and living habits are HUGE! Everyone has a different idea of what 'clean' is and what is acceptable to live in. As I'm sure you know little things can slowly build up to the point of explosion.

I think your idea of stipulating bf/gf stay-over frequency in the contract is a good idea. At the very least it would serve as prophylaxis for an annoying situation and if they ignore it you have legal recourse.

For the most part I enjoy having a roommate. There are times I wish I didnt, but during the dry periods living alone is not good for your mental health. I guess the best way to approach a new one is to converse with them for a while first, and make sure to lay out ground rules from day one.

EDIT- I just read Scaramouche's post and it reminded me---DONT GET A WOMAN!! They are always sweet at first but when the inevitable interpersonal conflicts come up it will be nothing but a subversive, passive-aggresive, circular battle. Plus, if any sort of unilateral attraction starts to develop that can be a big problem.