"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Literatures Greatest AMOGs

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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diplomatic_lies

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Adolf Hitler. That man AMOGed the Jews, Communists, gypsies, homosexuals, and anyone who annoyed him real good.

Jews/commies/gays/anyone else: "Hey Hitler, you're stupid!"
Hitler: "SS troops, gas them all!"

*hisssssssssssssssssss*


They didn't have a good comeback.
 

DrMetallica

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Fernand totally AMOGed Edmond Dantés in the beginning of The Count of Monte Cristo to get Mercédés, but Edmond totally fecked him over later, and her, for that matter.
 
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