literally get rejected 99% of the time, on the verge of quiting

[Ringleader41]

Lol, I get shutdown before I can even make a move. Every time I talk to a girl, they act like I'm manti te'o's girlfriend. It feels like I"m just wasting my time. I started trying to get girls like 3 years ago in high school and only have gotten lucky twice, but I claim rape on those two times. They attacked me like a fat person at a buffet.

 

[Demonicale]

So you have 1% success .. work with that, make it 1.5 then 2. then 3%.

Stop putting yourself down, your making atleast SOME effort where as too many guy's don't get beyond the thinking stage.

 

[Ringleader41]

So you have 1% success .. work with that, make it 1.5 then 2. then 3%.

Stop putting yourself down, your making atleast SOME effort where as too many guy's don't get beyond the thinking stage.

1% success sucks, when my frat bros pull every weekend

 

[Demonicale]

It's a platform to move forward, some people naturally have it easy, it's like how some people get all the luck.

But atleast nobody can fault the fact your going for it.And so what you get rejected, well atleast your TRYING, i see people in my country hang around all reserved and not doing anything!.

It's a numbers game and soon yours will come up!.don't give up!

 

[Mike32ct]

1 percent is average/typical. It's actually not bad.

3 percent is decent.

5 percent is very good.

7 percent is excellent.

10+ percent is elite territory.

I don't think most people realize how low game percentages actually are for a typical guy.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Well, clearly you are doing something wrong but you don't give us enough information. Before I continue, read Bradd80's post on Don Juan Tips section about his secret guide to mastering dj life. Good stuff here:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=197705

Also, read the tread on real versus perceived value: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=202361

Now, maybe you read all that already. If so, I'm going to take some guesses and you have to honestly reflect on if any of this is true.

(1) PERSONAL APPEARANCES AND HYGIENE

Do you work out?
Have you fixed your wardrobe?
Shower, brush your teeth, floss everyday?
Have you worked on body language?

(2) SOCIAL CIRCLE GAME

Have you worked this angle? It will already give you proof, so there's start.
If your circle is too small, expand it.
Also, make a friend or two of women in your circle and get them out with you on a pick-up. Have them critique you. They may not know what you are doing wrong from a DJ perspective, but they can tell you from a woman's.

(3) APPROACHING

My guess is that you are often failing at cold approaching. It is hard and sometimes not worth it if your game ain't tight. This can lead to discouragement for some.

Work on indirect approaches. Situational openers. These come off more naturally.

(4) KINO

She should barely notice it early on. But you got to do it and she should notice it at least and it should seem normal. Light hand on shoulder for 1-2 seconds making a point. Hand on her back going through a doorway or when taking a seat. Don't over do it. Touch thighs underneath the table when it's crowded. If she doesn't move, it's good.

That's just for starters and it doesn't even cover isolation and escalation.

But lets deal with comfort and rapport, because if you are opening up lots of sets, this is probably where you are blowing it. Here's some things to keep in mind:

DO NOT come off as if you want something from a woman. If she feels like you are gaming her, you are doing it wrong, especially early on.

Make sure you are comfortable looking a woman in the eye when talking to her.

Start gaming women who you have no intention of sleeping with. It will give you practice.

Try this: Get a woman out and game her all night long with conversation, eye contact, confidence, body language, bouncing to new venues, getting her to talk about herself and laugh... do all that right and you will not even have to steer her toward thinking sexually. It will happen on its own. That is, she'll want you and will feel like you never even hit on her. She might even propose sex. But if she doesn't and you know she's turned on, kiss her dammit and see if you can escalate from there.

Women sniff out neediness and desperation from a mile away. You got to kill that stuff. Worse, they interpret some things in that light even if it isn't. Aloofness and outcome independence are your friends.

Are you blowing up their phones? Liking their posts on Facebook? Stop that stuff.

Don't build rapport over text. Get them out. Tell, don't ask. "Hitting up the bar for happy hour. Come join!" Simple stuff like that.

Don't get into intellectual conversations with women you are gaming. You must keep it light and fun. Emphasis on fun. Girls just want to have it, you know?

Are you a downer at parties?

Do you walking around with your drink at your chest or hands in your pockets? Stop it.

Stop wearing tennis shoes. Make sure your clothes fit.

There's a ton more, but if you are failing like you said you are, you are probably messing up a lot of fundamentals.

 

[Plutoman]

1 percent is average/typical. It's actually not bad.

3 percent is decent.

5 percent is very good.

7 percent is excellent.

10+ percent is elite territory.

I don't think most people realize how low game percentages actually are for a typical guy.

Are you meaning approaches in general? I don't think even elite guys can honest-to-god get 10%+ lay rate on just approaches. Phone numbers, sure, or getting a number from an approach, but even the very best rates I've seen were at most 5% from approach -> lay.

And frat guys get it easy. Half the time they share the same girls all around the uni, too. The girls that party at one frat and sleep with the guys there are next weekend at another frat, getting laid. Those are just sluts passed around the frats.

Work on yourself, work out, be witty, leverage the social aspects of the frat for events and parties, and you'll get a decent pull rate. Get them to do things for you, especially. Tell them to play beer pong with you, tell them to grab two drinks for you both. But do this while keeping it fun, light-hearted. Don't ever be needy; be assured of yourself.

It was hard or me, too, don't be hard on yourself. It takes time and work. I spent my whole time at the frat getting nothing. I took a girl on a coffee date after meeting her at a frat party; had no idea what to do, she cut it short, I contacted her later and never got a reply. That was not the only time, either. Experience/learning will get you there. Grow some inner confidence with time and work and it'll become easier.

 

[Purefilth]

Sorry I dont speak RED DOT language

 

[Fatal Jay]

Lol, I get shutdown before I can even make a move. Every time I talk to a girl, they act like I'm manti te'o's girlfriend. It feels like I"m just wasting my time. I started trying to get girls like 3 years ago in high school and only have gotten lucky twice, but I claim rape on those two times. They attacked me like a fat person at a buffet.

It's a number game bro don't get discourage, the more girls you approach the more the word no pops up, but trust it will always be some that say yes, I can bet money you don't approach that much.

I will never forget someone said on here, that it is all a number game, and that is so true, if your looking for a girl or relationship it will be tougher because you let your emotions get in the way, you get the girl whenever you don't care anymore bro.

Keep approaching don't give up, you just having a dry spell, it has happened to the best, then before you know it you will be in a relationship and a few months down the line wish you was single again.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes. I mean the approach to lay ratio* for random cold approaches.

*It doesn't have to be a SNL. It could be a number close and day two (ie second night stand lol?) or number close and a few dates.

My numbers are very rough and only intended to make a point. Yes, 10 percent could be overly optimistic for even elite guys.

A typical guy might be at 0.5 percent. But these are very very rough numbers.

The point I wanted to make is its just numbers. Keep your expectations down and keep trying.

If a guy EXPECTS some unrealistic 20 percent close rate, he will be way too needy and women will sense it.

If you accept that it could be 1 percent or sometimes even worse, you don't place much importance on a given chick. You show more indifference which could actually help your game and boost your numbers.

Another angle is to do "sniper game" where you screen your targets better before you approach. You still get rejections, but your ratio can improve a lot because you avoid a lot of excessive cold approaches.

So finally, this begs the question... Which one do you use?

1. Do you use sniper game and only approach when your gut instinct and/or her body language indicates that you should?

2. Do you cold approach and just roll the dice?

I say maybe a 80/20 mix. Most of the time, the sniper method is superior. But other times you might have to random cold approach, such as...

1. You might be trying to break a long dry spell.

2. No women in the vicinity are giving you IOIs.

3. There isn't any particular girl that your gut tells you would be a good target.

Generally, ratios are meaningless with pure sniper game. (They only apply to cold approach.) If you bang the second girl, does that mean you're an elite ultra stud with a 50% ratio? No. You're either very good at target selection (which is the goal) or you literally got lucky lol.

Are you meaning approaches in general? I don't think even elite guys can honest-to-god get 10%+ lay rate on just approaches. Phone numbers, sure, or getting a number from an approach, but even the very best rates I've seen were at most 5% from approach -> lay.

And frat guys get it easy. Half the time they share the same girls all around the uni, too. The girls that party at one frat and sleep with the guys there are next weekend at another frat, getting laid. Those are just sluts passed around the frats.

Work on yourself, work out, be witty, leverage the social aspects of the frat for events and parties, and you'll get a decent pull rate. Get them to do things for you, especially. Tell them to play beer pong with you, tell them to grab two drinks for you both. But do this while keeping it fun, light-hearted. Don't ever be needy; be assured of yourself.

It was hard or me, too, don't be hard on yourself. It takes time and work. I spent my whole time at the frat getting nothing. I took a girl on a coffee date after meeting her at a frat party; had no idea what to do, she cut it short, I contacted her later and never got a reply. That was not the only time, either. Experience/learning will get you there. Grow some inner confidence with time and work and it'll become easier.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Gotta approach 100 times to say its literally 1%. Approach 100 more
times and you will see better results (assuming you we're really trying before!)

You should be learning. It takes time to get better. Cultivate an attitude of optimism. Social circles aren't a game to be won; they're a game to be played and enjoyed. Approaching is the most fun work there is, truly enjoy it.

 

[Plutoman]

Even considering sniper-type game, the best results I've seen were ~5% approach -> lay ratio. The absolute best I've seen on Roosh's forum, and if you consider people may over-exaggerate, it could be even worse. That's for pros, elites.

Mine's fairly low, 1-2% at best, and I've approached quite a bit lately.. in the several hundreds at least.

So really, that's coming to the same point, yep. You can't expect unrealistic ratios and be disappointed; just accept that it takes work and live with it. I get outright rejections quite often, where the girl obviously doesn't want to speak with me, and that's after major eye contact sometimes, too.

 

[Mike32ct]

Pluto: Yes, we're on the same page. I agree completely.

 

[vatoloco]

Clicky

 

[Ringleader41]

aight, well there's a party at the frat house this weekend, so I'm going to try again. Probably going to be a fruitless attempt though.

 

[Plutoman]

aight, well there's a party at the frat house this weekend, so I'm going to try again. Probably going to be a fruitless attempt though.

And this, my dear friend, is exactly why it will be fruitless.

 

[Ringleader41]

And this, my dear friend, is exactly why it will be fruitless.

It's hard to have confidence when Girls consider you to be one either one of the noble gases on a chemistry chart.

 

[Plutoman]

And the reason is because you expect them to consider that, and thus you act like you are that.

You act with no confidence, you get the results of no confidence. You act with confidence, and you get the results of confidence. Seems to me like the problem is very evident. Don't throw out self-deprecating excuses. Who does that benefit? Do you think I'll feel sorry for you, and I'll toss girls your way? You aren't doing yourself any favors here.

The only person who can fix it is yourself. Complaining here about how 'hard' it is, and how rejection hurts, is not the domain of us to fix, no matter how much self-deprecation you use. Grab yourself by the balls, man, and at the very least fake some confidence.

 

[NeedToImprove]

mate can you post some pics of yourself please? i'm not gay or anything but maybe we here can give you some tips to improve your appearance (it counts believe me).

 

[Ringleader41]

Ill pm pics