Listen to me!

[Boricua_33015]

Back in the days, before 10th grade I used to be able to "zone out" while listening to someone, picturing everything the speaker was talking about, and fully EMBRACING and being IMMERSED in a speakers words, giving full attention. I used to naturally be able to hold rapport, not being awkward in a conversation, and being in sync with others while speaking.

Fast forward to now, I am a junior in high school and I have all these gaps in attention, or perhaps unconscious (subconscious?) mental chatter that triggers self consciousness, anxiety and other negative emotions like fear, which keeps me from gaining natural rapport, and from actually listening to a person speaking.

This unconscious mental chatter also likes to invade when I speak, often making me stutter, and stumble on my words in mid-sentece. I sometimes forget what I am saying, and it also takes my mind longer than normal to search for the correct words to say, often confusing which words I have to say in order to get the message across because it is search through all this mental fog of unconscious (or subconscious?) chatter.

It makes me look like a fool because often I look spaced out, and am kind of SLOOOW at comprehending what a person says. Having all this mental fog/unclarity is obviously unbeneficial. Imagine going through 1 class where a teacher is giving a lecture and getting nothing out of it because you are always being distracted by your own mind.

What advice can anyone here give me on listening and staying focused, getting inner unconscious thoughts to shut the fvck up and stop distracting me while someone is talking so that I can fully EMBRACE and GRASP what a person is saying?

I am a full beleiver in affirmations, so if anyone has any affirmations that I can use to overcome this problem I would appreciate it if you can post them.

 

[oakraiderz2]

WHen you space out you have to be aware of it so you can focus.

 

[Boricua_33015]

I try to be the "watcher" or "conscious" of my own thinking and emotions, but usually I just become aware of it and then, try to consciously become immersed in the speaker's words. Like try to interpret each word individually, figuring out the meaning of everything, and being conscious of the body language etc.

To my knowledge, and experience, nobody really "consciously" becomes immersed in something. It is done without being aware of it even happening. It just.... happens. Its like unconscious or subconscious, if I can use that word as an adjective. Thats why when you become IMMERSED in something, you subconsciously block out other distractions like your surroundings, and when you are done with whatever they are immersed in, it kind of feels like you just woke up.

It might seem like I am getting too deep into this "conscious/subconscious/unconscious" sh*t, but I am trying to find an absolute ending to this. It is a REALLY big obstacle that I want to overcome and I do not want it to happen any longer. It makes me sick to my stomach.

So.... "consciously" trying to become immersed into a conversation while at the same time trying to look through the mental fog of negativity and emotion has got me nowhere but deeper into the pit I am in of "social awkwardness".

Oakraiderz2 I appreciate your trying to give advice but unfortunately just being aware of it isn't going to do much. I need some sort of ACTION.

So the real question is.... how the hell can I focus? This question of course is also contradictory to what I said about the whole "unconscious/subconscious" sh*t, because then I'd be trying to do it "consciously" again......

If you are wondering why the hell I have unoffically made "consciousness" the word of the day in your mind, then I tell you, the source of my thinking like this is through a book called "The Power of Now". It preaches being conscious of your emotions and thoughts, will unveil subconsious and unconscious thoughts that you are unaware of and allow them to surface the mind so they become can become conscious and dissolve those thoughts from your inner monologue and quieting the mind.

I have not gotten into the part of dissolving these subconscious/unconscious thoughts, and perhaps it has the answer I am looking for, but I got impatient. What can I say?

HELP!

 

[M2k961]

I use visualizations to stop distracting thoughts. EG, imagine all your thoughts going through a garbage shoot. That usually clears my head up Often the visualizations get pretty detailed, eg, a "plasma sphere" containing your thoughts exploding.

To absorb what hes saying, try imagining a paper and print what the person is saying verbatum on the virtual paper. That usally works for me.

Perhaps my advice only works for me. But try it anyway

 

[Boricua_33015]

M2k961:

Do you do this naturally? Or did you run into the same problem I had and thought of this technique to deal with it?

Its good advice but since everyone is different I don't know if it will work for me. It's not natural to me. My ego is always trying to put down new ideas and making things impossible for me. Perhaps it will work for the first couple times before my ego starts thinking again and then making the technique virtually impossible for me.

 

[M2k961]

No, it's not natural. Suprisingly, it hasn't lost it's effectiveness. Actually, just keep inventing new ways to virtually destroy your thoughts, and it will keep working