Linear attraction

[countermart]

I was wondering if someone with a lot more skills as a DJ can help me out here with something I just can’t understand. I have been told I am good looking and look young for my age. Frequently when I am in a book store or waiting at the lights to cross the road a very good looking girl will walk up right beside me and start looking at books, or stand very close to me when there is no need to. I’ve tended to put this down to coincidence, but it’s been happening a great deal lately. But today was the last straw, a good looking girl sat beside me on the bus, started to preen herself etc kept looking in my face. I did nothing as I was in a rough mood after a day at the office. She seemed to get in a huff at me and literally got up and sat in another seat next to someone else and kept looking back at me...actually I was a bit “creeped” out...and no I don’t have bad BO, and I did nothing but read my book.

The other thing I have noticed is that the girls that are interested in me are very often professionals, doctors or lawyers.

Ok I can see you are saying what is Countermart’s problem here?

Well it is this. Some girls further down the feeding chain commonly treat me very badly, even try to put me down, and at times it feels like others are literally running away from me, or act like they're completely ignoring me. Some girls I ask out down the chain, will just outright say no. Who cares you say!

Well I cannot figure this out, if some girls down the feeding chain can deliberately set out to put me down etc how is it possible that girls far up the feeding chain are interested in me? It does not make sense. To clarify I have been in a very long term relationship with a doctor that recently ended, so despite my age I consider myself new to DJing.

So my question is well, to put it scientifically, is the attraction women have to a man not linear in terms of their social value? ie. I have always assumed less attraction from those high up the chain and more attraction as you go lower...but this may be wrong. If it is, then you should simply concentrate on, and would do better with the top end HBs even though you think you will have better success further down the chain.

You see my thinking is if a girl down the feeding chain is not interested in me, why would a girl high up the feeding chain be interested?

Please don’t say who cares, just go for the cream, I want to understand this situation. Any advice would be great.

Countermart

 

[Duffdog]

What you are describing is what happens to women when they are in their 30's and not married. Its not a problem really-- what's happening is the females are placing themselves in specific areas to make it more likely that you will talk to them. It is your responsibility as the male to initiate conversation.

Why don't these cute girls start talking to you first if they made the effort to come sit right next to you? Aha! good question! The women are specifically looking for males who make them feel very female-- as in, the female receives the males advances. This is ESPECIALLY true for women who are powerful in their career paths. The more powerful the woman, the more she wants to be dominated and controlled in a relationship. (I could see some people debating this point, but don't try it unless you are at least 28 years of age)

Often, these women who are true professionals are very lonely. They want a powerful man to be aware of his surroundings and take action on her little "hints." They want you to put down your book, turn directly toward them and say "Hello, I couldn't help but notice your ________" They want you to do this in a public place where everyone is looking, where it is possible that you could embarrass yourself even if it means making a fool out of yourself. They want the man who is brave enough to take that chance.

The other females you are talking about who are lower on the food chain have no intrinsic need to try to be your friends. It is very possible that they have embraced the reality that you are so far out of their league that the only thing they can do is insult you and attempt to hold you down. Put yourself in the shoes of an average or low class female: they know that there is no chance they can score a hot guy, and even if they tried, they would get shot down. So, what better way to spend your days than trying to make someone share your misery?

I personally don't believe in the linear attraction crap. I think that it is a very cursory and narrow explanation of something that is beyond layman understanding. Attraction comes in many forms-- you would be surprised how many girls are attracted to non-physical traits such as bravery and courage.

From what you described, all you need is a little courage and you will be taking these girls home in no time.

 

[Deep Dish]

This has less to do with attraction as it does with power. In a nutshell, they assume you are "superficial" -- one of the most superficial words in the English language. They assume you can get much better snatch than them, likewise they assume you will ditch them when someone else invariably better comes along, or even that your intentions are simply to "hit it & quit it," and consequently they pre-emptively reject you before you reject them. Stated another way, they know you have more social power than them and therefore they have no control over the situation.

 

[ketostix]

This has less to do with attraction as it does with power. In a nutshell, they assume you are "superficial" -- one of the most superficial words in the English language. They assume you can get much better snatch than them, likewise they assume you will ditch them when someone else invariably better comes along, or even that your intentions are simply to "hit it & quit it," and consequently they pre-emptively reject you before you reject them. Stated another way, they know you have more social power than them and therefore they have no control over the situation.

I agree that this is the answer to what's happening regarding why the less disirable women are showing less "attraction" or interest than the more desirable ones. Also, there's the concept of these less desirable women "negging" you to keep you at their level, and we see signs of it working on your psyche, countermart.

As far as women making proximity with you, that's not coincidence. They have some interest or attraction in you. Granted sometimes women with little real interest will do this just to see if you'll approach them to inflate their ego. But even then they still pick you because the find you attractive and usually if they like your approach they'll be interested. In a lot of women's mind they think just standing next to you is the same as approaching and they feel the man is obligated to try to "win" them over. If you don't approach them then they take it as a ejection and probably for ego preservation reframe it as there's even something wrong with you since, "No normal man would ever reject or not be interested in me.". So they take offense and sometimes try to send the covert message that there's something wrong with you instead of something wrong with them or their vague lame ass approach.

Attraction is pretty linear if you cut through the female BS and noise.

 

[countermart]

Thank you

Guys, thanks very much for your help it’s fantastic, and you are right that “negging” stuff does get to me. Still now I have a better grasp of the situation, brilliant help.

Countermart

 

[Tazman]

Yeah, the proximity thing is a tell tale sign. It's funny how some women are very obvious when they try to get your attention and others can be much more subtle. It seems like the older women are subtle and the young ones can be so blatantly obvious it has me laughing.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Okay, I've been in a similar situation as you.

I don't want to go into my background and sound arrogant or anything but I'd like to say that I'm a pretty good catch.

When I first got into the pick up arts, a lot of people would ask me why I was doing this entire deal and they were baffled at me having issues with women to begin with.

I remember dating this one girl, absolutely crazy, not really educated nor cultured and personality-wise, was not A caliber, but she was pretty cutesy on the exterior.

Value-wise I was definitely higher than she was, it was pretty black and white, but lets be honest here, nobody wants to feel that they are worse than someone else.

It's the same principle why men in Mystery Method feel the need to neg, they need to bring a girl's value down, that's all they are doing to you, they're bringing your value down and the worst part is, is that they've convinced you that you are of that low value, don't buy into it.

Take a step back and think about it before you make self deprecating judgments on yourself.

-Kevin

 

[sodbuster]

It's happened to me,not because of my looks,but the DDS behind my name. I had an RN hitting on me at the bar. Got her number,called her and asked her out. We went out to a bar and had a couple beers[after she came to my house to eat-had some leftover roast].She had a female friend at the bar she needed to talk to,but I needed to leave,so she came out to make sure to kiss me good night. after that,she stepped back with her eyes as big as saucers and said'WOW" "call me" She won't answer/return my calls. I'm betting she didn't feel she had a chance[well,she didn't really impress me on the date,so maybe she was right][I'd expected better vocabulary from an RN]

 

[countermart]

Funny follow up:

Well today was a day much like any other day and I’m on the bus reading my book heading home....someone comes and sits beside me.....I look up.....arrrrr , it’s her again!

Mmmm plenty of other seats, can’t be a coincidence....Now what was it Duffdog said to say? Yep I remember, put down my book and say, “I couldn’t help but notice ......”

Err, your really great arse;... nup,

Err, your really tight body;... nup,

Err, you look like a really great F***,... nup,

But you know I ended up really thinking...

I couldn’t help but notice that last time when I didn’t talk to you, you got in a huff and got up and sat next to someone else like I had bad BO or something;

and, I couldn’t help but notice that’s not the way I want to be treated;

and, I couldn’t help but notice that not only do you get in a huff easily, but you look high maintenance;

and, I really couldn’t help but notice you are totally stalking me and please stop doing it because it’s freakin’ me out!

Countermart

 

[jonwon]

I was wondering if someone with a lot more skills as a DJ can help me out here with something I just can’t understand. I have been told I am good looking and look young for my age. Frequently when I am in a book store or waiting at the lights to cross the road a very good looking girl will walk up right beside me and start looking at books, or stand very close to me when there is no need to. I’ve tended to put this down to coincidence, but it’s been happening a great deal lately. But today was the last straw, a good looking girl sat beside me on the bus, started to preen herself etc kept looking in my face. I did nothing as I was in a rough mood after a day at the office. She seemed to get in a huff at me and literally got up and sat in another seat next to someone else and kept looking back at me...actually I was a bit “creeped” out...and no I don’t have bad BO, and I did nothing but read my book.

The other thing I have noticed is that the girls that are interested in me are very often professionals, doctors or lawyers.

Ok I can see you are saying what is Countermart’s problem here?

Well it is this. Some girls further down the feeding chain commonly treat me very badly, even try to put me down, and at times it feels like others are literally running away from me, or act like they're completely ignoring me. Some girls I ask out down the chain, will just outright say no. Who cares you say!

Well I cannot figure this out, if some girls down the feeding chain can deliberately set out to put me down etc how is it possible that girls far up the feeding chain are interested in me? It does not make sense. To clarify I have been in a very long term relationship with a doctor that recently ended, so despite my age I consider myself new to DJing.

So my question is well, to put it scientifically, is the attraction women have to a man not linear in terms of their social value? ie. I have always assumed less attraction from those high up the chain and more attraction as you go lower...but this may be wrong. If it is, then you should simply concentrate on, and would do better with the top end HBs even though you think you will have better success further down the chain.

You see my thinking is if a girl down the feeding chain is not interested in me, why would a girl high up the feeding chain be interested?

Please don’t say who cares, just go for the cream, I want to understand this situation. Any advice would be great.

Countermart

I have the almost same experiances you do.

I can close upmarket chicks, you know middle class.
But if I try to game low market chicks -dole, poor family e.t.c - I get no where - not that I want to anyway.

I usually find the work-shy kind of girl too rough around the edges, these types of girls prefer rough men just like them, the true bad boy - the type who would punch you then talk to you.

You see I dont mind - I have zero success with low class girls and I'm ok with that because I have zero interest in them also.

In-fact the low class girls, more often then not talk to me and treat me like shi* for even daring to talk to them - but girls of means, girls from good backgrounds I do more then ok with.

You wont attract all girls - thats life.

Brush up on your confidence, don't worry about the lower class chicks, some guys get to date that type, some guys like me are hated by that type -

I think I know what it is:

When a man comes around who knows how to look after-himself - I feel the poor chicks dont think they are worthy of him - so instantly they feel they can not get a guy like him - much like an AFC guy would to a hot chick - its the same deal, I feel!

 

[SoldMySoul]

This is a great thread, really! I have the feeling like some of you guys. I have enough confidence, most of the time and a pretty decent looking fellow and at times it does feel like women feel they do not stand a chance with me.

My problem is I tend to be quite picky and prefer a classy chick. As for low value women...NO WAY!!! The middle class women is ideal as I consider myself there, but these are the ones that seem they stand NO chance.

Again, great thread!