"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Lime's lifting, dieting, career, girl, life journal!

LIME!

Don Juan
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Hey, guys. I'm going to sally forth and get some women and other things in my life in order. I'll focus on girls cause that is what this site is about. However, this focus will involve everything else. I need to become an awesome person to succeed with chicks (and I don't even know what "success with chicks" means yet. Do I want "meaning" or a series of ONSs? I'm gonna find out!).

First, I'll talk about my assets! I'll work on enhancing these qualities and build my persona around the greatness already inherent in Lime.

* I'm very strong.
* I'm funny.
* I'm intelligent.
* I'm individualistic. I have to watch out, because I can easily be WEIRD if I don't pay attention. Still, a great trait to have.
* I have high self esteem. This is a MENTAL self evaluation. To get the FEELING of confidence, I'll use my self esteem as a foundation, as well as just "put myself out there" and working on myself.
* I have high earning potential.
* I have a master's degree (but am switching fields).
* I am kind and can resolve conflict. This can easily go the way of the dark side into wussdom. It can just as easily allow me to be a fair and just alpha male :)

Now my liabilities! I'll need to correct, downplay, or hide these traits. If posible, I'll market some of these as positives and put them in the ASSET column!

* I'm overweight. On a diet though. As of 10/10/06, I was 260.6 lbs and 5'11".
* I'm shy.
* I lack confidence. I believe this is just due to lack of experience.
* My finances. I had stage 4 lymphoma last year, and that BANKRUPTED me. Shouldn't come up if they don't ask.
* I'm 31 and living at home. Partly due to the above.
* Sometimes I lack ambition. I'll just have to fight that tendency.

So there it is. I'll sarge tommorrow. Yesterday I lifted, so I'll talk about that next...
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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LIME!

Don Juan
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10/9/2006 - Lifting awesomeness!

Much of my confidence comes from physical strength as does much of my respect from other men. Since this is not a lifting forum, I'll just post the highlights of my workout. These are the stats for my top asset (as of now).

Deadlifts: 450 x 1, 400 x 2

Reverse leg press: 315 x 30, 405 x 25, 495 x 15, 565 x 10

Incline dumbbell (db) press: 135s x 8, 135s x 3.

Db shoulder press: 95s x 12, 95s x 7

One arm row: 115 x 8, 115 x 6

Shrugs: 400 x 3, 325 x 11.

Tricep extensions: 250 x 20, 250 x 13, 250 x 8

Standing db bicep curl: 70s x 6, 50s x 8
 

-V-

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ok first is:

"Mental Evaluation" I hope you are not evaluating yourself to others. if u do so stop.

Note: just read ur stuff again. Stop comparing yourself to others in order to evaluate how good you really are, you mite come off weird, insecure. Trust me i had the same sh1t.

Do not let the weight lifting trick you of thinking alpha male. Cut yourself down, trust me women love pretty boys and if they are pumped its even better! I'm 5.8 and i weight around 170 pounds i Curl 65 pound dumbers and do 110 dumbells for the chest press, but looking "big" doesn't help you a lot with ladies, sometimes they even mite get scared of ya or think your weird.

Other than that congradulations man on starting a new life. You can do it. Keep us up to date, and remember you are the prize to fight for right here right now!
 

LIME!

Don Juan
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Progress on diet stuff!

Welcome and thanks for an insightful post. I know all strength gains are now superfluous. I get stronger for myself, not girls. The weight loss is for the ladies. :D I don't evaluate myself to others, except in my journal.

Strength makes it easier to be respected, a TOOL in your arsenal for advancing in social heirarchies. I'm not saying it's the only tool or even the best tool. It just happens to be what I'm best at right now. You're very strong as well especially for your size.

I know I need more tools. I will acquire them.

Anyway, here's the diet stuff for today, from fitday.com:
* Weight: 260.6
* Cals used: 3457
* Cals consumed: 2853

I started at 267.8 last week, so progress on that front! My goal is 220!
 

-V-

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The reason why i said about "comparing to others" is that sometimes i work out at the College gym and people there insecure as fvck. When i started weightlifting a year ago i was the same way - comparing myself to others, but at the end i stopped. The reason why i thought about it is ur 1% of top strong people and 5% of top intelligent people(assets & liabilities are u a accountant or finance).

With your muscle mass you probably need to cut the calorie intake by only 800 and do like 3-4 cardio's a week and you will get cut in no time. The lack of ambition i think every other person have here, i think its related to somewhat getting out of your comfort zone.

By the way post here everytime you go out and sarge will be interesting to read. Me and my friend will soon start doing PUA bootcamp(a little tougher than the one here) you can join us if you want to.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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LIME!

Don Juan
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Comparing myself to others is a problem, I'll admit. When you say you're better than someone, you must concede that you are inferior to others. It is a route to self esteem, which we need, but it is an insecure source.

I'm working on being able to say "I am me, and that is enough". I need to be an identity, instead of a collection of parts, or "qualities".

What I did so far: I went to a bar. I'm still painfully shy so that was sufficiently uncomfortable. I also practiced "****y comedy" via IMs. Turns out I'm good at it, as a mental skill. I don't feel it though, which I need to do it IRL. I also sent my transcripts so I can take classes next spring. I'm going to be a male nurse! Yeah, the "masculine" heads here will scoff at it, but my (reasonable) goal is to eventually pull down over 100k a year doing it. And I'll be surrounded by girls :D

I believe this stuff is like lifting. You don't just jump in benching 400 lbs. You have to start small and work up gradually. Same with this. You leave your comfort zone in gradual steps. If you do too much too soon, you will be fake, and your mental state will deteriorate as you cycle through manic self esteem build-up to crashes associated with failure and the sudden destruction of your persona. At least that is what happened to me before.

After I lift tonight, I'm going out. I'll do a little bit more, maybe talk to a stranger, maybe get laid...
 

LIME!

Don Juan
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Social progress: 10/13 - 10/15/2006

Okay, some progress: I went to a bar with a live band. I went alone but I joined a group of men who seemed pretty cool. The "alpha" (Richard) let me drink some of his beer from his pitcher. I got the next pitcher. There, an equal exchange among equals :)

Richard introduced me to a girl named Vicky. Eventually she gave me a hug though I don't remember the circumstances. I got drunk and had a blast. They said some meth adicts sometimes come in looking for a fight sometimes. Disappointedly, they didn't show up. I wanted to fight!
:trouble: :kick:

This amount of social success is maybe equivalent to benching 75 lbs in a lifting journal (in awesomeness). If you said you were just benching the bar last week, I'd give you props :) Well, socially, that's me!

Goals for next week: 1) ONE street approach; 2) Go to TWO social venues, meet new friends, meet two girls; 3) Incline press the 135s for 10; 4) Deadlift 500!; 5) Interview for a job as a nurse assistant; 6) Weigh 255!
 

LIME!

Don Juan
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Control confidence with your mind and stippers!

Sometimes I think about this stuff. Unlike other newbs, I will not infect the minds of other new guys by pretending to be an authority. I'll keep my thoughts here in my journal so I can think some stuff out. Today I had some thoughts about confidence. It's a general consensus that this is the most important trait to have. What is it?

First, confidence is emotional. We often talk about girls being emotional, and how to capitalize on that fact, but we are just as emotional! That very important quality we need is an emotion. A complex emotion, yes, but an emotion nonetheless. This is both good and bad.

This is bad because it is very difficult to talk yourself into having confidence just as its difficult to talk girls into feeling attraction with logical arguments. You can tell yourself that you're a great guy, but it likely won't translate into confidence.

The emotional aspect of confidence is good because you can use your intelligence to trick your mind into having confidence. How? Well, let's consider what the emotion of confidence is engineered to do.

Many of you have heard about social hierarchies in the wild. What keeps them stable? Confidence. If you lose fights, you lose confidence and resign yourself to a low position in the pecking order. If you win them, confidence will spur you to fight your way up to the top until you are defeated. High confidence keeps you yearning for higher and higher status. Low confidence keeps you from fighting to death. Confidence is even modulated by specific brain chemistry: testosterone, serotonin, dopamine and others.

Now we live in a moble society where status is not programed at birth. Also, it is posible to dig yourself out of past failure. Your success as an adolescent does not have to determine your success as an adult. The brain mechanism for confidence is a hold over from a more statified past. We must fool the brain into feeling confidence to get the success we know we can obtain.

Confidence is a crude win/loss tracker. You have to expose yourself to wins to get your confidence up. You can win at anything; studies have found that winning a coin toss can raise your testosterone levels a blip. Find something you're good at and excel at it. One thing I bring to the table is that I excel at SOMETHING. Now I've convinced my brain to like myself.

Being excellent, that will bring you general confidence. It will help you with girls, but I have found that "confidence with girls" also needs to be cultivated specifically. The emotion is still a win/loss tracker, but now for getting girls. One reason I need to lose weight is to get indicators of interest (IOIs) from girls on the street. I can use this to approach that chick or initiate with another, now that I'm convinced that I'll succeed. Right now I'm heavy and not generally attractive. What to do?

I go to strip clubs! I get IOIs and that increases my confidence. Remember, confidence is emotional. Logic like "they just want your money, dummie" doesn't play into it. For less than the cost of an AFC date, I can go almost all the way with an amazingly hot chick. It's a "touching" club, so I get to feel her too. I know what a hot chick feels like and it's both amazing and no big deal. Now hot chicks are off their pedestal. Say I talk to a hottie on the street. It doesn't work out. No big deal; theres a place I can go to get my sexual needs met. The girl I met is not important.

When I leave the strip club, I get IOIs from girls on the street. Now I'm walking around with a swagger, with a "I just got f.ucked" grin, and I probably smell like a hot chicks been grinding on me (and like cigarettes :D ). Now I've fooled my brain into having confidence with girls AND I've fooled girls into thinking I bang hot girls - all on a primitive, emotional, and maybe subconscious level.

Confidence is an archaic, obsolete emotion. CON confidence and you're golden :cool:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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WTF??? I thought I was on MySpace! :confused:
 

LIME!

Don Juan
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Aw... It'll get better!

Myspace, meh... It'll resemble a porn blog soon enough!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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