"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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lil bit of a problem, any advice

muttley

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Hey Dj's hows it going!

Okay lets start, i had oneitis for this girl a while ago. i wont say i have oneitis anymore ,altho when she does creep around i can feel the oneitis returning but i think 'nah' and it goes away .

The thing is that i missed my chance with this girl, all the signs were there, everything blah blah,but i was too much of a chump to say yes or realise it then :/ . infact shes the 3rd i talk about in this thread

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=13316&perpage=20&pagenumber=19

basically i missed out on her. now, shes gone away to college in another city. She only returns on weekends and i work week ends so i never get to see her anymore. the only time i interact with her is on MSN, yeh friggin MSN.

Anyway, 1 yr back or more when she was 'into/chasing' me we talked all nite on msn and met @ weekends at where we worked part time. Since she gave up on me and went to college, we never talk like we used to anymore. Its basiclly like :

me: hi how u doin
her: fine and u
me: fine thx
her: k

thats it. Before it was soooo much more, about her , me , friends s3x blah blah like lovers lol.

I want to block her from my list but i cant because we both know friends that are on each others lists and i cant block them all!. So i leave her on my list, but i NEVER talk to her , shes just there.

ill admit that at one point i almost "declared my love" for her lol. that was a while back and i probably became an emotional tampon. what a chump.
well i know theres no point in trying to get her cos we hardly see each other and the fact that ive seen pics of her with her arm round another guy , dunno who he is tho.

I want her to not see me as that chump anymore and for her to not think she has the better of me, cos im a changed man!

so what do i do , i cant block her cos ill have to block my friends too cos theyre on her list aswell and she will find out i blocked her sooner or later and then that will get her thinking. She might think that she has the better of me or some shyt.

if i leave her on my list and not talk to her ( sometimes she talks to me, late at night i guess when no one else on her list is online, but its not the same as we used to talk.) i never msg her first , never. btw shes they type of girl that has never had a problem getting hit on / getting guys, so i dont wanna be another chump .

so , shall i leave her on my list and carry on ignoring her? is that actin like a big ol chump or wot lol. The relationship we had once is over, its like were growing apart. at one point she was hot after me and made it obvious, now were becomming like strangers. the fact that i dont see her anymore and the fact that we never talk on msn, sometimes 1-2 hours can pass and none of us will message each other. what gives.

thx for reading this ridiculous post, yeh i know its absurd. im *stoned* by the way.

muttley
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Grey Fox

Master Don Juan
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Well if you don't want to see that name any more can't you just take it off your buddy list without blocking her name. Out of sight, out of mind. Why should you care if you block her anyways, you two aren't exactly close friends. Your other friends shouldn't really care, either. If it bothers you that bad and you think that bridge is absolutely burnt, then why not block her. If you feel like her being able to contact you puts you in a bad way, then why should you allow her to put you on crutches? You are not friends, you are not lovers, and you probably have more friendly and invovling conversations with strangers; so why keep up this vestigal relationship? Put this to rest, let this be a lesson about having the balls to make a move and brood over it no more.
If you are not happy about it, then I'll offer you this golden route of escape. Next time she rolls into town, take her out and do something fun. Have a good time and show some interest. If things don't turn around for you, you can honestly say you gave it a good shot and happily say "Next." Otherwise its time to bury the things that made you weak in the past, and if this spectre of what could have been is doing that, well chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.

-Grey Fox
 

muttley

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thank you so much for that reply. ive finally done it, ive blocked my oneitis forever!. Even though i dont see her anymore, im usually on msn messing + chatting with my frends and she happens to be there. ive blocked her and deleted her fone numbers, text messages, emails, chat logs, etc etc EVERYTHING.

I hope u guys understand that this is a big step for me , as in showing this much courage. She WILL find out ive blocked her but i dont care!

On to better things gentleman, pimp canes in hand ;)
 

Layla

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It's nice that you have the courage to block her. Nice first step.

If she/her friends confront you about it just shrug it off and be like "she was messaging me nonstop, freaking stalker!"
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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In her college transition she found new "friends" - most likely older boys who find her more than appealing - this is only natural to gravitate towards the new and exciting and to leave your high school and home town acquaintances behind. Don't take it personal.
 

Big Eee Zee

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Is that true for everyone? I have some good female friends, and I'd like to think we can keep in touch during the college years.
 
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I am speaking of women who you once had a romantic inrerest in - not true long term friends.
 
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