"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Lifting weights = hair loss?

orly

Don Juan
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Serious topic. And seriously, no "just go shave your head" replies please.

I'm seeing some thinning hair in my temples at age 27. Assuming it takes at least a few months for thinning to start becoming apparent, the timeframe seems to roughly correspond with two events in my life:

1. I started lifting at the gym.
2. I went through an extremely anguishing period over a oneitis - really, the first time I've been through something like this.

I know hairloss is mostly genetic, and I've read through all the scientific (and not-so-scientific) literatue on the subject. One of them suggests that weightlifting can accelerate hair loss due to the spike in testosterone that occurs after a workout session.

Most parties seem to agree that steroid use definitely has risks in balding. The question of whether just lifting weights, without any steroids, can do likewise, seems to be up in the air.

On one hand, I want to gain some muscle. I also genuinely enjoy lifting.

On the other hand, I do NOT want to lose my hair. Shaving my head is not an option except as an extreme last resort, as I do not have the head shape nor any other characteristics that it would look decent. I already have enough problems with women that another nuclear kick to the groin as far as confidence goes isn't going to help.

Short version: I want to gain muscle, I enjoy working out. I fear it might contribute to hair loss. I'm not overweight. I can be content with not being fat but with a full head of hair rather than being buff but bald.

Anyone have any information on this matter?

For what it's worth, I'm Asian. Based on what I've read, Asians are least vulnerable to male pattern baldness out of any ethinc group except Native Americans. I know from the people around me none of the other Asian men under the age of 40 seem to be losing their hair in any substantial amount.

My maternal grandfater was bald when he passed away, but he started losing hair only after 50+. My father has also lost hair, but even as he approaches 60, he still has most of it and isn't bald. All my maternal uncles have full heads of hair more or less at 50+.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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dbot

Master Don Juan
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If you really are going bald, I don't think putting down the weights is going to save your hair. If your hair is thinning, that doesn't necessarily mean it will all fall out either. High levels of stress will be a much greater conductor of hair loss then weight lifting, so I would focus more on eliminating that from your life. Give it a little more time, and if it continues to be a problem, then see a doctor or consult a specialist.
 

SmoothTalker

Master Don Juan
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I think the increased testosterone does speed the process up. However, if you stop working out it will still continue, maybe you'll just buy yourself a few extra months or a year.

Look on the bright side, you went through almost your whole 20s with a full head of hair. My hairline started receding back in high school.
 

LoneSilver

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Try Saw Palmetto it does something to halt the effects of the testostrone on hair loss.

I've been taking it and I have a full head of hair while my older brothers are thin headed and have major receding going on and don't lift weights like I do.

Can I say Saw Palmetto is why? I really don't know but if I read something that has studies behind it I'll try anything just to see if it works.

LoneSilver
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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thedeparted

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The breakup could impair thyroid function which leads to gray hair. Not sure about hair loss. But I'd rather be buff and bald than weak and beautiful.
 

LoneSilver

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If your speaking of Saw Palmetto you might be on to something as I have close to 100% gray/silver hair as well as my goatee but I started graying when I was 21 and it has progressed ever since and I don't remember the exact time I started taking SP but I know it's been a few years now and I will be 50 soon.

I wonder if there are any studies on this if this was about taking SP and causing gray hair because one of my older brothers the one two years older is still dark headed with the thinning and my other brother whose 7 years older uses the Just For Men.

LoneSilver

thedeparted said:
The breakup could impair thyroid function which leads to gray hair. Not sure about hair loss. But I'd rather be buff and bald than weak and beautiful.
 
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