JamesonGuy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2021
- Messages
- 20
- Reaction score
- 29
- Age
- 31
Hey everyone, wanted to share how I've managed to start approaching girls after years of being stuck in my head not able to take action
From the time I was a toddler I've wanted to talk to girls and just tell them I like them, but was always just too afraid to do so, I had no idea why. I know people have evolutionary ideas about being in a tribe and getting killed by the alpha male, but I really hate this theory, I mean what 5 year old is subject to tribal approach anxiety from fear of getting killed or abandoned by the tribe members. Additionally I think this is a really negative way to think about human nature and will not make you want to go out and socialize. A much healthier mindset I think is to just realize for some reason, probably based on the male role models in your upbringing or lack of, you developed a habit of not approaching, and this habit just became stronger and stronger and stronger, just like eating **** food, or not working out, it's really no different.
So, I've know about pick up basically all my life and consumed crazy amount of content, but never took action. What I want to share is how I actually managed to start approaching girls. You have to do this with a progressive overload method, just like lifting weights. I had to drastically reduce or change my goals. Instead of having the goal to go up to the hottest girl and seduce her, my initial goal was just to go out and walk around the city for x amount of time. Then my goal was to make eye contact with as many people as possible. Then my goal was to just say hello to people, then make little comments to people while passing.
After all this initial work of just doing abnormal things, speaking to strangers, making comments, moderately breaking social norms, there comes a point where you actually have to face your big fear of approaching a girl and showing that you like her. The way that I got over this fear was quite simple, and it was the only thing that worked for me after years and years and years of just *****ing out every time. So what I did was just make it my goal to get rejected by a girl, therefore I was actively seeking rejection, to me getting rejected meant success. The easiest way to do this in my head was just to go up to a girl and immediately ask for her number without saying anything else. Obviously most girls are going to say no, this is exactly what you expect and want. Usually what I've noticed is because you have 0 desire for a different outcome, and you know pretty much exactly what the outcome is going to be, it's easy to be in the moment and have a positive vibe. I've actually noticed that the girls will usually smile or laugh because they can tell that your not upset by the rejection in the slightest, actually the opposite.
Anyways guys, this is how I got over my approach anxiety and not make such a big deal about talking to girls, after chronic lifelong approach anxiety. I know it might sound a little too complicated, but for me it was the only thing that worked. Tell me what you think if you've dealt with severe AA
From the time I was a toddler I've wanted to talk to girls and just tell them I like them, but was always just too afraid to do so, I had no idea why. I know people have evolutionary ideas about being in a tribe and getting killed by the alpha male, but I really hate this theory, I mean what 5 year old is subject to tribal approach anxiety from fear of getting killed or abandoned by the tribe members. Additionally I think this is a really negative way to think about human nature and will not make you want to go out and socialize. A much healthier mindset I think is to just realize for some reason, probably based on the male role models in your upbringing or lack of, you developed a habit of not approaching, and this habit just became stronger and stronger and stronger, just like eating **** food, or not working out, it's really no different.
So, I've know about pick up basically all my life and consumed crazy amount of content, but never took action. What I want to share is how I actually managed to start approaching girls. You have to do this with a progressive overload method, just like lifting weights. I had to drastically reduce or change my goals. Instead of having the goal to go up to the hottest girl and seduce her, my initial goal was just to go out and walk around the city for x amount of time. Then my goal was to make eye contact with as many people as possible. Then my goal was to just say hello to people, then make little comments to people while passing.
After all this initial work of just doing abnormal things, speaking to strangers, making comments, moderately breaking social norms, there comes a point where you actually have to face your big fear of approaching a girl and showing that you like her. The way that I got over this fear was quite simple, and it was the only thing that worked for me after years and years and years of just *****ing out every time. So what I did was just make it my goal to get rejected by a girl, therefore I was actively seeking rejection, to me getting rejected meant success. The easiest way to do this in my head was just to go up to a girl and immediately ask for her number without saying anything else. Obviously most girls are going to say no, this is exactly what you expect and want. Usually what I've noticed is because you have 0 desire for a different outcome, and you know pretty much exactly what the outcome is going to be, it's easy to be in the moment and have a positive vibe. I've actually noticed that the girls will usually smile or laugh because they can tell that your not upset by the rejection in the slightest, actually the opposite.
Anyways guys, this is how I got over my approach anxiety and not make such a big deal about talking to girls, after chronic lifelong approach anxiety. I know it might sound a little too complicated, but for me it was the only thing that worked. Tell me what you think if you've dealt with severe AA
