ohhhhh what a poor close grip bench *cuddle*
I think for me it's the other way my breast is stronger than my triceps, at least it looks so.
Well, when you remember I stopped training because of roaccutane....well it got better with time and I restarted training 2weeks ago.
But couldn't go hardcore because I was kinda ill and I still have no real eating plan.
I have to say life went really downhill since I had to stop working out. It all fit together, but for the worse. First stopped training and tanning, than stopped taking protein, than restarted eating sw33t choclates and pizza, than restarted downloading p0rn and...., than restarted smoking because I couldn't handle my personal x-mas, than restarted being desperate for girls/pvssy and also restarted being too scared to approach, restarted caring much what others think, lost much dominance and aggressivness, because of that lost confidence and self esteem, and because of that finally lost the happiness I had achieved after YEARS of effort - most(of course not all) improvements were GONE.
That got me wondering because compared with other people my body seems to be much more sensitive to these kind of stuff. But what works for other people doesn't help me. I need a healthy lifestyle. And I need a big aim that I want really really bad - and that is a muscular body(and I mean muscular not unnatural steroid pumped bodybuilding figure, though I have respect for their big dedication to weight lifting). So I asked myself do I just want it? But also don't want to abstain from the short pleasures like drinking, much socializing,etc? Than I will always just have an average body(okay in times of fast food and not doing sports it's above average lol). Or do I want it THAT bad that I will do almost everything to achieve it. And genetically disadvantaged and steroids only as an last resort I WILL HAVE TO GIVE EVERYTHING I CAN. Do I want it so bad that I will cut my social life down? Do I want it so bad that I will spend all my money for food? I reflected about that for a while. Average life has it's pleasures. But that shorttime pleasures are nothing against the feeling of being a man on a mission and having an incredible big ****. If you dedicate yourself to an aim that YOU choose, things like girl problems can't bring you down. Your are no match-ball that other people can kick around because you have a mission to accomplish and no time for bullsh1t. At the weekend I was begged/told to go out and get drunken, insulted as being a loser not going out, had been offered rides and stuff. But I resisted(it was very hard) and preferred staying at home to eat, sleep, read and play some online game. Yup, if I wasn't so cool I would be a nerd.
I need big goals that keep me going so my first aim is 75kg/165lb's at beginning of may.
My stats before 2 weeks were 63,5kg/140lb's, my current stats are 65kg/144lb's. The hard part will be 70kg++. But even if I have to gain some fat I will not care, I will just cut down after I reached around 80kg. I think high bodyfat levels are easily cut down without losing muscle mass, the hard part is only from flat stomach to six pack. And personally I care more about being strong and looking strong than about looking like a model with 8pack. But of course I dont wanna be a fatazz.
My height is 1,75m/5'09" and bodyfat 15%(estimated)
Best Lifts are currently:
squat: 5x55kg
deads: 4x65kg
bench: 8x50kg
bicep curl: 9x28kg
military press: 7x26kg
chin ups: 8
bent-over-rows: dunno
I'm currently thinking about my choice of food, because stuff like pure cottage cheese/tuna just make me wanna puke. The problem is not that they taste bad but that at the moment I can't eat them or I really puke(I did). Because of all the wimpy food I ate in the last weeks. So I will not go for a perfect choice of food because it doesn't help me if I can not eat as much as I need to because I can only eat very slow when I feel like puking. I will go for things like whey,whey,whey,skimmed milk, skimmed milk, skimmed milk, oatmeal, oatmeal, chicken, chicken, whole toast, whole bread, 1%fat yogurt drink(stealed that
), salad with tuna, rice, pasta, some fish and pig(beef is too expensive), peanuts/almonds,flaxseed oil, some vegetables/ananas, apples/bananas, than i'm thinking about things like low fat curd cheese with a shot sparkling mineral water and some strawberries or other fruits. I will prepare and think about my meals every 3 days and stuff the things I can in tupperware. Also I will supplement 1mineral+vitamines pill, 1vitamin C pill, and in the evening 2 magnesium pills+ 1 zinc pill (homemade ZMA
)
I will make pictures to watch my progress, so I will take one tomorrow. I have no webspace, so Lifeforce can you upload it for me? Else I prefer to stay a mystery
ahh if I only had a body pic 1,5years ago, but this time I will keep track.
well that got a bit long!
peace
/double out
