Life

[davester88]

So last night, one of my buddies whom I worked with at the golf course, got hit by a car biking home from work last night and was killed ( He was 18 I am 17) Just an overall great guy. Very likable everything, was a real comic. Things like this make me realize how short life really is. It was only yesterday him and I were joking down the hallway at school and now it's all over for him. I feel terrible about it.

Where I'm going with this is, does anybody have any experience dealing with situations like this and what did you do to cheer yourself up. Also, at this guy's funeral, I figure they are going to have an open mic for people to say what they thought about him, I was thinking of going up and talking a little bit about the guy, I just don't really want to break down and start crying up on the podium...

Anyone been through anything like this?

 

[Quiksilver]

Let it all out.

Something similar happened to me 3 weeks ago, except some blame can be laid on me. I just had to accept, quite actually, "sh1t happens".

The first day I was...disappointed and felt bad, but in a distant way. I was in shock. The 2nd day I literally cried every half hour, even in school. Third day was the same, I felt terrible. After that I only broke down if i really thought about him. Just let it out man, nobody is gonna judge you because you have a heart.

Just let it out man, even if you're on the podium, nobody is gonna think you're "weak".

Best thing to do, in my opinion, is just to remember the good times you guys had together. Don't let the memories die.

 

[davester88]

Did you go to the funeral? if so did you get up to the podium? Like I'm not even sure what to say, like do I recall the good times we had together up there like its a celebration of his life or do I just recall his qualities in a very sad funeral kinda state?

 

[i am me]

/\wutever u feel like...i myself would try to go the more positive route but its up to u...im sorry for ur loss btw

 

[Quiksilver]

If you're unsure of what to say, make a list of things worth mentioning, and fill in the blanks, such as:

1. His interests - talk about what he loved, and liked to do, the passion with which he pursued his interests.
2. Our experiences together - mabye tell a light/funny story, describe your buddy in the situation. Just tell a short story.
3. His philosophy(what he lived by) - Describe the energy your buddy had, and what gave him his drive.
4. His sense of humour - Tell a joke or two that you, or something comical about him.
5. His attitude - How he dealt with hard times, perseverence, whatever.
6. His shortcomings(be brief obviously) - find a fault that your buddy had and describe it. Be harsh and critical even, try to come off light though.
7. How he affected you - Why you liked him, and what attracted you to him as a friend.
8. You'll miss him - Again, tell some sort of symbolic story, and why its reasons like that that you'll miss him.
9. If there is one thing you could learn from his life, what would it be? - Could go two ways. Either be serious, or joking. Make it a punchline.

Thats basically what I did, and it worked pretty well. I had tears in my eyes for most of it, but by the end I was fine. Practice it a bunch of times, and finish on a high note.