Life sucks!

[Caesar20]

i'm ****ing pissed.
my buds left me @home again and went to clubs without me. they didn't even bother to call if i'd be going.
I don't have a car of my own, my mother isn't at home and my father wouldn't lend me his if it'd be the end of the stinking world.

i feel that my "buds" (> we were really "bonded" i nthe past - it goes all the way back from the elementary school - we did everything together -- but unfortunatelly they are the only buds that i hang out with at all -- ) are making a distance from me slowly, but intentionally.
they go to the ****ing seaside without me (well -- they acutally bothered to tell me A DAY before they made the reservation and payment!), they go to the nearby lake wothout me (and sometimes call me @18:00 or so when there is no sunlight to be found anywhere)

and sometimes at the clubs they tease me (like you don't have the guts to do this and that or if you don't like --whatever-- you can walk home - ) and ****.

when i'm with them i'm even more ****ing afc then i'm usually.
i don0t aproach the women at all anymore as they always keep staring me like i'm talking to a godess and they laugh and shyt, they ask me afterwards from where do i know her, comment on her body (there always appears to be at least one problem on her), they bump me with their elbows in my stomach and tell me to introduce her to them (jeah right like i'm a ****ing pimp and she is a who.re)..

i don't really have and good buds from the elementary school as i was used as a "boxing bag" for quite a lot of my schoolmates and was used to be attacked both verbally and physically all the way from 5th grade till 8th grade (elem. school in my country has only 8 grades); both by (almost) every schoolmate and even girls.

the problem is that meanwhile i'm an afc they (the smart percentage of those written above) experience one success after another - in bussiness, school (college), love and styt.


and there is more.
my dad keeps despise me, my sister obviously thinks that i'm a clown she can order anything and i'd do it without any comments, my grandparents still think that i'm 10yrs old (especially grandmother) and behave as such (eg. they always tell me to get something to eat, they are general pain in the ass - as i could say for most of my family except mother, they comment everything i do, my grandmother forbits me and my g.father that i do anything that could hurt me - hell even when i lawn the grass she watches me - ).




so here i am.
my day basically consists doing nothing usable for the whole day a lot of the time i just browse the internet, i'm insecure, afc, anti-social and more all in one package.



-however for some time it appears that i'm getting my life togeter. i started going to the fitness, but the problem is still in my social skills as i rarely say a more then a couple of words with the others (who are much more talkative), i rarely or (most of the times) never start a convo.
-i can't do shyt about girls right now as it's still the main holiday time for us students and i have no justifyable reason to get around much (at least justifyable to a way that i could get a car from mum).
-I can't do **** about my own car too. parents won't bought me one (even though they have the $$$ for it - or my dad has the $$$ -- just a couple of months back he bought BMW 5; and his former car was audi A6) and i only have $, where i'd need $$$$$$ for even the not-sopiece-of-junk.


my finance situation would change somwhat if iwouldn't make it to the second year of the college (and with my current discipline and self-esteem that wouldn't be a surprise), but let's not call the devil as i have enough probs at the moment.


solution? help?
(and please don't tell me to end my stinking life, as it took a lot of time for me to get rid of those kind of thoughts).



p.s. that "too many image" feature is evil.
get rid of it.

 

[WaterTiger]

Ceasar20-

First of all, you are on the right site, and you're not alone. Half the guys on this site have been in your shoes or ARE in your shoes.

Try to get a part time job that won't interfear with your college and it will give you some extra money. You'll feel better when you don't have to depend on your parents for $$$.

FIND NEW FRIENDS! The guys you've been hanging with are JERKS! They are NOT your friends! Friends don't treat each other like that. Go to different clubs than they do.

Keep reading this site, it helps!

 

[One on One]

This same situation has come up numerous times and I face it myself on and off. Here's the advice you'll get and the advice that works:

Work out, join clubs, find hobbies, get nice clothes, improve yourself, and then get back out their and chase women and/or friends.

 

[Slickster]

Those aren't friends. I don't know what they are but they're not friends.

Find others.

 

[Phrozen]

Caeser, a great way to answer almost all of your problems would be to get a part time job where you are forced to talk to strangers. Examples would be waiter, bank teller, cashier, etc.

The list of things that a part time job could do for you is quite long. Here are a few things that I can think of immediately:

-puts you in a new situation where you will meet new people
-your coworkers could become a new group of friends for you
-you must absolutely learn basic communication skills to complete your job
-you occupy more of your time, rather then wasting all day
-you make money, if your other expenses are covered you can potentially afford a decent car
-you have an easy way to practice DJ skills, for instance when I am at work I can practice holding eye contact with customers

First, cut all contact with these so called friends who are really just *******s. You don't need them, don't let them keep pushing your self esteem down.

Secondly, as respectfully as your can, keep reminding your parents and grandparents that you are growing up. For instance with your grandmother tell her the next time when she watches you mow the lawn that it makes you nervous and it makes you feel more likely that you're going to hurt yourself. If you need more help with this stuff, message me specific situations and I can help you. I have a very controlling mother and only in the past few years was I able to make any progress with my freedom.

 

[Eric Smith]

I had friends just like yours. Ditch them. You think they are your friends but really they just keep you around to laugh at. I still hang out with a couple of them just because they know people that have parties. Whenever girls are there, they never hesitate to try to call me names. However with AFC counter c0ckblocking, it never is a big problem and the kid who makes fun of me is seen as the fool by all and even laughed at by the girls that he tried to make of me to.

Get new friends. Yes its hard to start over but let me tell you a few things:

- Most dudes are friendly. Just go up to them and say, "Do you mind if I sit down?" Usually they don't mind. Say a few jokes and you are in.
- Ditch these friends. They will be like "We are just playing around" but this is almost the same as the abusive boyfriends that beat their gf and then afterwards promise them they will never do it again only to have the next night go back to the usual.
- Get a job. You can get more $$$ to save up for a nicer car but who cares. I drive a 93 Oldsmobile Achieva. Its nice but definitely not pimp. However I spent a few bucks to personalize it to what I want including new seating, new speakers, and a few other adjustments. I dated many a HB while driving this that drive nicer cars and their parents have way more money than my parents. Don't think that you need a Porsche, Lexus, or Escalade to get the girls. Its a crutch. Take away the crutch and you will fall on your ass. Don't be that way.

Regarding your family: just take it until you graduate and then leave them behind. I don't like my father but I know I can last a couple more years. The problem is that you just take it from everyone. Next time your sister wants something done, tell her to do it herself. Take charge in your life or else you will get treated like this by everyone all your life. Then you will settle with a beluga UB1 that treats you like crap and takes all your money.

Do what you say that you don't. Start a convo. Talk to someone for more than just a couple words. Forget about girls with cars, there is some stuff that you can do w/o a car. Such as:

- Watch a movie over at your house
- Every college has a rec room. Go to her there. My college has a bowling alley. That would be a great place for me to have dates at.
- Run together

There are possibilities, you just aren't using them.

Best of luck to you though.