Life should not be this hard (for the socially unadjusted)

[Mad Manic]

Right, so you're socially normal, you chat her up and whatnot, get her number, but they always put up resistance and flakiness to meeting up because they knoW what's going to happen. Yet there's nothing wrong with you, you socialise fine. That's why this site will always exist.

MM

 

[faiNt`]

Simply amazing. Great job

 

[Jon55]

That's really what virtually everyone on this board does. They are hit with a realization regarding their specific situation, and the next thing you know, they are writing long, rambling posts which they market as the answer to everybody's problems.

Yeah, but then these rants help some random guy, like myself, realize his faults, and he has a big "ah ha!" moment.

 

[Jon55]

When you haven't socialized for awhile or had friends, it's very easy to slip into this pattern of thinking..."but there's something wrong with me."

I'm a "nice guy". I'm this. I'm that. I'm ___.

You silently go through life thinking...but there's just something the matter with me. I shouldn't have this behavior. I'm doing something wrong.

Some of you guys are disqualifying yourself from the game of life with this horrible self image. You don't follow through as a result. You don't ask girls out. You don't go for the kino, you don't go for the kiss.

I would bet that most guys on here felt "normal" to some extent as kids. You had birthday parties, you played with your friends outside. There was nothing "wrong" or the matter. None of you guys were on the internet at age 10, 11, 12 debating all this stuff. You're out doing stuff automatically; for me, that's where I wanted to get back to.

The less you think about it, the better off you'll be. I've socialized more in the last year, than in the last 5 years combined. Once you get in the rhythm of it, you realize...what's the big deal?

God, I'm just a spitting image of this. It's scary how right you are dude. I think what's worse though is most of us have been doing this, this routine, for years.

I know I used to think like you mentioned when I was a kid. I couldn't care less and loved life and everyone in it. I was so happy no one could bring me down, and it showed! I had girls all over me, guys wanting to be friends. It just feels like you can go about your day and people will literally do everything for you, do all the work you need done to accomplish your goals, cater to you, etc.

Of course when you're up this high, the fall tends to be long and hard. I went through this once I started dating, and found out I was an afc. This really got my head in a million different places, I began to constantly doubt myself, I became very self-conscious, I wanted the old me back so badly I tried everything. And you know what? Trying to be my old self never felt so unnatural.

The thought of forgetting how to have fun is just incredibly depressing, as I always used to look at people like myself now and think "Damn, I never want to be in that guys shoes."

This really sheds light on EXACTLY what has happened to me over the past years. If we ever meet in life man, I owe you a beer. Hell, a keg. I just hope I can stop being an afc in relationships now.

 

[blackomen]

I actually like socializing very much but I lose interest in most people after talking and meeting them a few times. The rare individual who makes it past my short attention span and is able to connect with me usually ends up as one of my few friends.

At this point, the ideal social life I see is one where I can hang out with a completely different group of people every month. I enjoy talking and connecting with many people even at a superficial level on a regular basis rather than settling into a clique of friends.