"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Life isn't about winning and being cool

NewJack

Don Juan
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Yeah, the title encapsulates the message.

Life isn't about winning and being cool.

Oftentimes you win, and find out that the cost of winning was too great. Or you find that there is some secret dark-side to your victory, that you could never have anticipated.

And the converse is also true. Very, very often you "lose" or take a hit somehow, and you find riches buried within that experience. You only get accepted to your second-choice school, but have an amazing time there that you realize you couldn't have had at your first-choice. Then you look back and are happy you didn't get into your first choice.

Loss. Pain. Difficulty. These are too deep a part of us to simply be considered Mistakes. They teach and lead the way, and they prepare the ground for the next Big Win - which will be a true win, if a loss preceded it. Because we are meant to experience both in equal measure. So you can look forward to your next Loss, because in the nature of things, its bound to be followed with a Win. And you need not worry too much about making your Win more 'winnish' or more complete, because you know that Loss is going to follow you - and you know that thats OK.

So lets hear it for occasional loss, for not getting what we want, and for not being cool!

These things are either your friends or, if they're not your friends, they are enemies to be feared!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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There is a story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "May be," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "May be," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "May be," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "May be," said the farmer.

:cheer:
 

TheException

Master Don Juan
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NewJack said:
Yeah, the title encapsulates the message.

Life isn't about winning
Strongly disagree. Those who seek to rise above the competition on a consistent basis are the alpha males of the world. If Michael Jordan wasnt so focused and driven to WIN......he would never have amounted to even 5% of the man he is today.

NewJack said:
Loss. Pain. Difficulty. These are too deep a part of us to simply be considered Mistakes. They teach and lead the way, and they prepare the ground for the next Big Win - which will be a true win, if a loss preceded it. Because we are meant to experience both in equal measure. So you can look forward to your next Loss
I agree with the beginning. Loss, pain, etc should be the prime motivators for you. But looking forward to them? No.....if you TRULY have experienced these emotions...then you know that you never want to experience them again. Which is why they are such great motivators.

Look at some of the most influential and successful people throughout history....they never looked forward to loss....but after having experienced it....used it as fuel to their fire. They never once wished to "re-experience" them.

NewJack said:
because in the nature of things, its bound to be followed with a Win. And you need not worry too much about making your Win more 'winnish' or more complete, because you know that Loss is going to follow you - and you know that thats OK.
False. Often times people let "losses" turn into even more "losses". They cant handle pressure or the depressing emotions and instead of turning them into a positive...they crumble from the inside. And the opposite is true...a culture of "winning" fosters more winning.

NewJack said:
So lets hear it for occasional loss, for not getting what we want, and for not being cool!
Actually...lets not. Fvck losing, fvck loss, fvck fear.

Instead....do your best to eradicate them from your life. If you want to embrace loss....go hang out with the Cleveland Browns...theyve done it for decades. Ask them if they "embrace their next loss".
 
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