life is empty

[aguynamedwill]

I'm sitting here on a Friday night, not having any desire to go out.
Bars are smokey and boring. My friends are smokey and boring. I'm not interested in having a cheeseburger at 3am. Nightclubs are superficial meat-markets where even the dancefloor has rules, apparantly. You have to dance 'their' way. And its way too loud to even try to talk to anyone.

I've been feeling real empty lately. Like wondering what the point of anything is kinda empty. Although I'm supporting myself just fine, my job is ultimately meaningless and unfulfilling. My friends just rehash the same old stories/jokes/negativity, and go to the same places despite suggestions to try someplace new. I really have no desire to hang out anymore. And chicks, well, I haven't met any in a real while. Except for at work, where I'm trying to avoid them and just do my job. It used to be my practice place, but now I just feel uncomfortable like I'm being stared at.

I really don't know what's going on inside me and I dont' know how to help myself. Any suggestions?

 

[Kendog]

You sound depressed... Have you tried some anti-depressent medication? Prozac perhaps? Go see a doctor or something. I agree though, life is boring.

 

[squirrels]

I'd agree with you, but I'm on my way to get a cheeseburger.

On a serious note, first thing you need to do is understand that a great deal of how you perceive life is not how it IS, but how YOU interpret it. Try changing the way you think about things.

Before anything in the outside world actually reaches your conscious mind, it goes through a stack-n-sort process in your head, where you label each stimulus based on a set of standards you've developed for yourself. It's supposed to make things easier to understand. But the wrong schema, or the improper application of it, can also make you miserable.

 

[aguynamedwill]

I've decided just to try to take it as it comes, starting off with having a healthy dinner. My mood may very well be coming from my unhealthy eating and sleeping habits.
I also got rid of all my porn. I'm no prude, but ultimately porn is degrading to everyone involved (especially the customer). It's also a little sick and far from what I actually enjoy sexually.

I'm familiar with the conscious happiness. I try to live that way. But lately, it just dissappeared. I'm not seeing the bright side. Just the chores that life presents. Just the flaws of others. Wanting to remain hidden and alone, where at least I'm safe. Was it all a mind trick that wore off?

Doctors and their drugs are bad, mmkay?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Drugs don't solve shyt. Attack the underlying cause. I think you are the kind of guy that wants and needs a companion on a daily basis and you are not down with the chase, expecially to get a club ho who, in the end, will leave you unfulfilling. Clubs are too loud to talk to women and they are not of the best quality. Bars are not the best environment to impress women with your wit. Seek women outside of the bars and find those who share the same values and likes as you do!

You did right - PORN - is no substitute for companionship!!

Get involved in hobbies and start exercising 4 times a week! Meet girls through these hbbies or through your gym membership! Read a book - improve yourself - whatever you do stay busy. Do not watch TV!!! Get off the couch and live!!

"Life" is not empty, "people" are. What is your passion? Pursue it!!

 

[Trance]

1) Get some hobbies!
Start making some sports, gym, surfing, hip hop dancing, whatever you feel like, and you also get the bonus of making new friends by these, and meeting some interesting girls, while you're making a fun and mind releasing activity.

2) Break of the routine!
You must have at least 2 or 3 friends that you really like to hang around. Instead of doing the usual weekend cheeseburger going out or clubing, do something wilder. Go camping to some nice vacation place, where no one knows you there, and you can do all the stuff that comes up to your mind, like being bolder with girls or making your own schedule with no rules!

3) Feel confident!
Once you start to feel confident, your energy will flow! You will feel how great your are, and that life has so much to offer!

4) Make aproaches!
If you are into getting some girls, then you better start making some aproaches! You dont need to go to a club to do that, when you see one you'd like to meet just dont miss that chance! Even if she rejects you, when you are going away you will think if u didnt try u'd never know, and it wasnt hard at all! Trust me, the feeling of not having tryed is a lot worse then when you get rejected, but you walk away with the same confidence that made u do the move. Bus stops, cofees, anywhere and everywhere is a good place to do an aproach, have fun doing so!

Carpe diem

 

[alakazam]

Have to second the excercise thing, I used to have the occasional depression, where I'd feel lousy for no real good reason.

After starting to excercise on a regular basis that problem has not revisited me.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by alakazam
Have to second the excercise thing, I used to have the occasional depression, where I'd feel lousy for no real good reason.

After starting to excercise on a regular basis that problem has not revisited me.

Yes this is because excersise releases endorphines into the brain, thus you are happier. Being fit and healthy will DEFINATELY make u feel better.

I also think PRL is right, u need a companion. How u find one is your choice, but I would first start excersising to make yourself feel more alive, get that blood running through your veins again. Then u can start doing another hobby u like. U are only 25, perhaps now is the right time to make a career change. Join the police force, do something where u can make a difference to society and where action is involved, thus u will not get as bored with life. Good luck mate!

 

[Walden]

There are always new challenges , if your life is "Same Ole" it's because you don't have the stones to go meet them.

 

[Julian]

Its funny how whenever someone sounds blue people tell them to take prozac and all this other bull****.

 

[akindofblue]

You might need to get off by yourself for a little bit. I'm reading a book by Thomas Merton (a Trapist monk from Kentucky) called New Seeds of Spirituality, and in it, he makes a point that is so true: often we come to know others when we are away from people. In solitude we come to know the value of others. I think it holds true. Watch people in a subway in New York. People are mere obstacles between point A and point B. People surrounded by people they're scared to death of. Then stroll into a small bar in a small cafe in Wyoming and see what your experience is.

I worked in California for a year, just to get away, and though my job was useless, my life wasn't. I came home and stopped at the beach nearly every evening to watch the sunset. I would sometimes rouse myself out of bed every night to watch the moon hang over the ocean and to listen to the waves. Weekends were spent combing the shores, travelling through the desert, climbing mountains. Life suddenly became so wonderful, so multi-faceted and material things began to matter so much less. I started wearing a black t-shirt, jeans, and sandals all the time. All the pretensions (which are just ways of falsely attempting to define ourselves) went out the window. I started working out, going to church.

By the time I finished my year there, I had the closest group of friends I'd ever had. and had made some incredible memories, felt as if I knew myself like never before, and am genuinely happy and thankful to be alive.

Since I've moved back to the south, I've taken up camping. I go out shooting. I still workout all the time. I have started kayaking. Doing charity work. People mean more to me now.

Think about it: every year there are 730 sunsets and sunrises. When was the last time you sat down and watched one? It's really a perfect way to end a workweek. Life opens up to you in so many ways if you let it.

Sit down, make a list, and make the most of what you have. I think you'll find that you have more than you think.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Akindofblue,

Good post - I actually noticed that you never mentioned anything about a girl in your entire post, yet you gave him the solution to his woes

Aguynamedwill, seek the solution internally and not from an external force! Akindofblue gave you an example!

 

[Kendog]

PROZAC

 

[So pimp its scary]

Prozac and ritalin are legalised cocaine in pill form...

If your depressed, go out for a walk.

Do something... you will quickly realize that shyte isn't all that bad, and that there is some good, and you will also notice the more you move that you feel less stressed... more alive.

You can have a great life without drugs, legal or otherwise.

Peace

 

[dietzcoi]

Ski, ice skate, bike, shoot, hike, camp, etc...

If you have a good job and no woman you should have plenty of money... believe it or not there are a lot of guys here (the older and divorced ones) who would trade places with you.

CLeveland... what about boating on the lake? Ice fishing?

You need to get away from your loser friends. They will drag you down.

I must say being in the military and moving around has helped me a lot. Gets you out of the rut and exposes you to new activities. Can you move to another city or state?

Dietzcoi

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Trance is right here.

You sir are in a rut. Shake it up a bit with some new hobbies and some new friends. You'll be fine in a week or three.

 

[Trapspringer]

Wow, I just knew this thread was going to be full of "hey you just have to go out and meet a girl!" replies. Some good replies here.

 

[DjDreamer]

Life is not empty...life is what you make it...that may sound cliche but it's true...

If you go around thinking life is empty then what do you think the result with be? What do you think the result will be if you think life is an adventure?

Don't passively accept negativity! Be victorous... fight your way to positivity... if you don't put up a fight, your life will become meaningless... you'll be no diferrent than a sailboat moving by the slightest breeze.

 

[aguynamedwill]

thanks for all the advice, but I think Walden made the best point.

There are always new challenges , if your life is "Same Ole" it's because you don't have the stones to go meet them.

My life hasn't changed much lately because I haven't done anything to make it change.

Take today for example. Went out to the bookstore, and for some reason there was a gorgeous girl in there. My mind was screaming 'say hi' but I didn't. Just walked on by. Who knows how that could have changed my life. Now I'll never know. But at least I got out of the house. I'll have to take that as consolidation.

 

[Big Pappy]

Sheesh! Read your post, now I'm depressed.