Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Life Balance Charts

2Rocky

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I'm not a New Year Resolution guy, but I think every now and then I need to measure where I am against where I want to be.

This looks like a good way to do that:




Work/life balance can be measured in several dimensions; time dedicated, priority, success, energy levels etc. When considering Wellbeing however, it is most useful to measure Contentment.

Contentment is achieved when ones expectations are met. For example, if at work one can reasonably expect career progression, personal/career development and/or to obtain job satisfaction then, if these expectations are met, one is more likely to be contented. Clearly if they are not met one may well be discontented.

The Balanced Circle is an insightful way of evaluating the balance of contentment within your life. The circle is divided up into the general components outlined below.


Health – both physical and psychological.

Fun & recreation – the things you enjoy.

Friends & family & significant other – those who you enjoy spending time with.

Money – remuneration for the work you do.

Personal growth – learning new skills to enhance capability and capacity both physically and intellectually.

Physical environment – where you work and live.

Work – your current and future job roles.



Individuals can mark their level of contentment in each area using the diagram below.


It can be useful to consider the Balanced Circle as a wheel. Equal levels of contentment in all areas would result in a smoother, circular shape that can spin or rotate easily. One is likely to experience a smoother life experience or ride. An irregular shape however would cause ones ride to be bumpy.

Whilst the appropriate balance is likely to be specific to the individual, one should broadly aim to create overall optimal contentment shared largely equally between areas. Like for the wheel, significant differences between components will lead to a more unbalanced, bumpy experience. It is important to remember that contentment is a dynamic measure, natural or unexpected changes will happen and the shape will be different at different stages of one’s life. However, one may be better equipped to deal with these changes when content in most other areas of their life.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Willie Naylor

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Thanks for sharing. Balance is crucial in life, no doubt. In Bhutan, they don't have a GDP measurement. They measure Gross National Happiness. I think this would be a good thing to have here in the states. In a country where everything is transactional, it'd be a refreshing thing to see.

Gross National Happiness | Tourism Council of Bhutan
 

taiyuu_otoko

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In Bhutan, they don't have a GDP measurement.
Yes, they absolutely do.


They measure Gross National Happiness.
That's a marketing angle to attract tourism.
 

Willie Naylor

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Yes, they absolutely do.

Didn't know that. Thanks for letting me know.
 

2Rocky

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is there a questionnaire that goes with this?
There might be one out there some Life-Coach has put together.....But I think it's totally personal. I think I will split the Money section into "Saving" and "Cashflow". Health into Fitness/wellness. Career into Earning/environment

The reason for the exercise is to evaluate which areas of oyur life oyu want to put the most effort into to balance. Then work on Actionable Items within that.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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