Letting your gf hang out with other guys

[Teddy_Beer]

Lately, I've seen women say that their bfs are ok with letting them see other guys (just the girl and the friend). Some think it's being open minded, others say the guy is a total Beta.

What do you guys think of it?

 

[speed dawg]

This is Mature Man. Add details if you want decent advice.

 

[thelastmanonearth]

Were they only friends before you met her? Is it in a group with other people? If it's no on both of those then no way unless it is somehow job related in a job related setting.

 

[Malcontent]

I broke up with my ex because of her guy friends. She said she needed space one night and I coincidentally found her out drinking with her guy friends. She dismissed my presence with a pat on the arm and said "enjoy your night." Done.

Similar to what Danger said, I had a girl put my d-ck in her mouth one night when we hung out as "friends." I was attracted to her, but she did all the pursuing. I was acquainted with her bf so out of respect had previously kept a boundary. The three of us had even hung out together before. So even the fact that I knew her bf did not shame her from slobbing the knob.

One of my friends' gfs told me "I want to suck your c-ck" when we were at a bar and my friend had gone to take a leak. Seriously, we were alone for all of 2 minutes and that's what she said.

My brother's wife suggested (telling me she was going to be off work and sitting out by the pool) that I should stop by and she acted all seductive when she said it.

I have very little trust for my woman hanging out with guys regardless of the parameters. Women are sneaky as f--k. Even if you want to give her the benefit of the doubt, you are probably just deceiving yourself. Even if you think she is your sweet little loyal angel, you could be dead wrong.

Call it insecure or whatever, but that's how I feel.

Unfortunately, most women are that way now (based on my observations). So I am trying to adapt to seeing them all as disposable wh0res, yet I am still bitter about my crushed former perceptions and am now consumed by cognitive dissonance. Desiring fidelity and/or respect seems to be a lost cause and I'm having a hard time accepting it.

 

[In2theGame]

Naïve men will allow their gf's to do such things.

Men who have life-experience know better.

I honestly would have a hard time counting how many guys gf's I have fvked with them thinking all along it was "just friends".

110% Correct.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Teddy,
Age and where you live are very useful in getting a handle on your situation.....Having said that,I adopt a very open attitude...some of my plates are married...my principal love interest sees several Men on a regular basis,as long as she insists on safe Svex I don't mind.....My main attraction for her is Dancing...At one time she was quite openly seeing a 26 year Old Guy...I gained a vicarious pleasure in seeing her come back to me LOL.

 

[Colossus]

Yeah like other guys here I've slept with girls who had boyfriends, some of whom I even knew casually. I was never much for attached women, but sometimes they have a way of falling in your lap. Women are sneaky as fvck, and I also don't trust other men alone with my woman.

Women love to say "well then you just dont trust her". You're right, I've been around the block a few times, and I know people are opportunists.

This can be a hard boundary to set, especially with women who have mainly guy friends. Boundaries are important, but I think proper selection trumps boundaries here. If your girl doesn't have a ton of guy friends this will be easier, and the fewer sex partners she has had the more obedient she is likely to be to you.

Every few months or so I go over my "rules" with my girl. Here they are, verbatim:

1. Don't sass me, backtalk me, or be rude to me.
2. Don't lie to me.
3. Other than group acquaintances and family, I don't want you spending time alone with other men.
4. If you are making plans on days we usually hang out, just check with me first.

Guys may laugh at this, but I have a respectful woman who tows the line. Granted, she LIKES the boundaries and leadership so it makes my job a lot easier. Her personality is submissive and accommodating. I've been in relationships with the opposite type of female----sarcastic, stubborn, contentious ball-busters---and man that was a living hell. Trying to set rules like these with a girl like that is like trying to teach a cat to sit. Poor choice from the beginning.

 

[speed dawg]

I have very little trust for my woman hanging out with guys regardless of the parameters. Women are sneaky as f--k. Even if you want to give her the benefit of the doubt, you are probably just deceiving yourself. Even if you think she is your sweet little loyal angel, you could be dead wrong.

In general, they'll do whatever they FEEL. If it makes them FEEL good, they'll do it. That's why it's so important to screen up front, find a woman with integrity for any type of LTR. Better yet, find a woman who recognizes masculinity/femininity. Someone who knows that they must avoid sketchy situations to begin with, because we are ALL susceptible to temptation, no matter how loyal and upstanding we are.