Sucker For...
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- Sep 25, 2005
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- 39
Alright, this is a two part post.
Part I: Letting go is harder than it sounds
At the end of my senior year of high school (last year) I started dating this girl I had previously been very good friends with. The transition from friends to lovers was flawless. For 3 months I was in a state of pure bliss around the clock. This, however, shifted as the day I'd have to move away to school approached. Late June or early July, she broke up with me, for what reason I was unclear of and still am. Anyways, I was miserable for 2 weeks afterwards, until she admitted to me that I was the first guy she'd ever fallen in love with. I'd known I loved for for about a month at this point, and I had told her this.
Somehow we became intimate again, but she refused to officially start "dating" me again. She didn't seem to realize that we were far closer than we ever were when we were officially together. It was during this period that she started drinking again, which she hadn't done in over a year. So fast forwarding...
I woke up from my first night of sleep at school to the pulsating vibrations allerting me to the fact that I'd recieved a text message. It simply read "I ****ed up bad last night." Which I took to mean she partied after a year of soberiety. I went back to sleep. When I woke up the second time it was to her phone call. She sobbingly admitted that she'd woken up that morning next to a random guy she'd never seen before and didn't remember anything. After a week of rage, I made mistake #1... I forgave her.
Recently -- within the last month -- she started acting very strange. She was miserable during the week because I wasn't there with her like i had been in the past, and on the weekends she wasn't normal because she dreaded me having to go back to school. I loved her so i tried to talk her out of this cycle of stress. Then she just stopped talking to me altogether. She wouldn't return phone calls or if she picked up she'd "have to go" right away, and she wouldn't return text messages or respond to me on the internet. I took the hint.
Then, 2 weeks ago, i had just about pushed her out and i was on the phone with another girl when i got 2 text messages from her. The first one was telling me she was at a party at my school, and the second was telling me where it was. Sounds like a hint to go there, right? Well i had some trouble finding it so i called her. She'd stay on the phone for 30 seconds and hang up. I gave up and went back to my dorm.
This girl isn't worth the emotional hurricaine i'm going through, and i need to let go of her, but i can't seem to do it. Every time i try she runs back to me and i can't bring myself to tell her that i can't let her come back to me every time.
Part II: New matter at hand
How do i go about meeting girls around campus? Every time i meet a group in the dorms i become their "brother" or drinking buddy. I find myself laying in bed at night longing for a relationship but i don't know how to plant the seed anymore.
Part I: Letting go is harder than it sounds
At the end of my senior year of high school (last year) I started dating this girl I had previously been very good friends with. The transition from friends to lovers was flawless. For 3 months I was in a state of pure bliss around the clock. This, however, shifted as the day I'd have to move away to school approached. Late June or early July, she broke up with me, for what reason I was unclear of and still am. Anyways, I was miserable for 2 weeks afterwards, until she admitted to me that I was the first guy she'd ever fallen in love with. I'd known I loved for for about a month at this point, and I had told her this.
Somehow we became intimate again, but she refused to officially start "dating" me again. She didn't seem to realize that we were far closer than we ever were when we were officially together. It was during this period that she started drinking again, which she hadn't done in over a year. So fast forwarding...
I woke up from my first night of sleep at school to the pulsating vibrations allerting me to the fact that I'd recieved a text message. It simply read "I ****ed up bad last night." Which I took to mean she partied after a year of soberiety. I went back to sleep. When I woke up the second time it was to her phone call. She sobbingly admitted that she'd woken up that morning next to a random guy she'd never seen before and didn't remember anything. After a week of rage, I made mistake #1... I forgave her.
Recently -- within the last month -- she started acting very strange. She was miserable during the week because I wasn't there with her like i had been in the past, and on the weekends she wasn't normal because she dreaded me having to go back to school. I loved her so i tried to talk her out of this cycle of stress. Then she just stopped talking to me altogether. She wouldn't return phone calls or if she picked up she'd "have to go" right away, and she wouldn't return text messages or respond to me on the internet. I took the hint.
Then, 2 weeks ago, i had just about pushed her out and i was on the phone with another girl when i got 2 text messages from her. The first one was telling me she was at a party at my school, and the second was telling me where it was. Sounds like a hint to go there, right? Well i had some trouble finding it so i called her. She'd stay on the phone for 30 seconds and hang up. I gave up and went back to my dorm.
This girl isn't worth the emotional hurricaine i'm going through, and i need to let go of her, but i can't seem to do it. Every time i try she runs back to me and i can't bring myself to tell her that i can't let her come back to me every time.
Part II: New matter at hand
How do i go about meeting girls around campus? Every time i meet a group in the dorms i become their "brother" or drinking buddy. I find myself laying in bed at night longing for a relationship but i don't know how to plant the seed anymore.
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