"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Letterman "gaffe"...

G

glass half full

Master Don Juan
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Maybe this is a bit of a reach, but I'm wondering -any thoughts on David Letterman's statement Mon. night saying "Treat a lady like a wh–e, and a wh–e like a lady," I guess it's a quote from the 1930's.

I've heard it before, and I guess he opened with it early in the show, the reaction was silence.

Any thoughts on the validity of this statement?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear Glass Half Full,
Treating a Lady like a w****,wouldn't be real smart,it was bad policy in 1930,and perhaps even worse today...On the other Hand,considering the second part,if w****s are your thing,then Yeah go for it,it might make a pleasant change for her,might even get a freebie LOL.
 
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