let's take it slow? what does this mean

[Urbanyst]

All guys can benefit from being less thirsty.

I have never had a woman tell me "let's take it slow". With me.. women always want to move faster.

 

[dude99]

not chasing. she's already texting me seeing how my day is going etc. I think she just doesn't want to be burned like she supposedly has in the past and is scared of jumping into a relationship

I'm cool with taking it slow I don't wanna start dating right now anyway. so I mean I'm not really complaining.she said we might be on different pages etc. I also don't wanna lose contact she's a really cool chick who i enjoy hanging out with

You're a busy guy. A useless bread crumb "how is your day going ?" Is nothing more than to see if you are on the hook.

Completely ignore bread crumbs.

Set up dates with other women.

 

[Ryan Adams]

this is true

 

[derby1]

i dont agree with ignoring anyone i dont ignore at all tbf!! i make the person low priority they get a couple of worded reply back but its one sided disinterested in there life, whenever ive done this the woman will be round for sex within 3-4 weeks but shell up the chase first

 

[wifehunter]

 

[guru1000]

Some of you are too emotional, and bent on words:

Girl: Let's slow it down. Things are moving too fast.
You: <Smile> Sure.

Then continue as is.

If her actions demonstrate a pullback. Then pullback twice as much.

She doesn't want to slow it down. If she did, her actions would be congruent with a girl who wants to slow it down, and they're not. The same would apply to a girl who says, "I'm not sleeping with you." This means she is entertaining the thought of sleeping with you. In most instances, you will sleep with a girl that same night if you remain unaffected, smooth, and try to sleep with her anyway.

Men, words mean crap.

Women communicate covertly. Overt communications occur usually when her covert communications are not being "heard."

In this case, her overt delineation is an emotional reaction out of fear, not confidence (unless you were completely blind of her actions), likely as she has been hurt.

Your response is to be unaffected. Even better embrace with a smirk or smile.

Continue as you are.

Mirror her actions. She gives a foot, reward her. She takes a foot, take two.

 

[Ryan Adams]

very well said guru1000. that makes an incredible amount of sense. thank you for that

 

[guru1000]

Remember, women will use overt communication when it serves their purpose. If a women overtly states something in such a manner whereas to leave no margin for misinterpretation, you can bet she has exhausted her covert communication as you just didn't "get it."

However, if she communicates something to you which belies her action, then she's communicating an emotion, which in this particular case is likely fear or doubt within her--which has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her and her past. Covert communication (in seemly overt form) is her unconscious delineating her insecurities, and men with keen eyes can utilize such info to their advantage and to understand the deeper message.

In this case, her actions show high IL. So her communicating, "we should take is slower," means she is falling for you and fears this feeling of loss of control. Contrariwise, if her actions were her backing off, then this would be the message.

Judge her by her actions, and interpret her communications by checking their alignment with her actions.

 

[Toddz]

Yeah like others have said, I would go date other women and put her on your back burner. Just play it cool with her and pull back a bit and watch her actions. If you like her, the last thing you want to do is push her when she says that she wants to take things slow... If you have options, then naturally this won't be difficult...

 

[guru1000]

Have you ever had this happen?.

Yup, usually get it before she tells me she loves me. Hehe

But again, you have to measure it against her actions. For you, she may have really wanted to slow it down, unless you got into your head (insecurity) with her comment, and that pushed her off.

 

[Trump]

Some of you are too emotional, and bent on words:

Girl: Let's slow it down. Things are moving too fast.
You: <Smile> Sure.

Then continue as is.

Bro I know you can get girls with your eyes closed, but when a girl says 'let's slow it down.' AFTER she is having sex and texting every other day, either it's a power trip or she met someone else.

Suppose he wanted to get married in 1 month and she said 'slow it down.' Would he say 'sure' or would he say 'get out of my face?'

Men, words mean crap.

Women communicate covertly. Overt communications occur usually when her covert communications are not being "heard."

In this case, her overt delineation is an emotional reaction out of fear, not confidence (unless you were completely blind of her actions), likely as she has been hurt.

Your response is to be unaffected. Even better embrace with a smirk or smile.

Continue as you are.

Mirror her actions. She gives a foot, reward her. She takes a foot, take two.

How can words mean crap? That means she can justify or excuse anything she says that doesn't benefit her in that particular situation. How convenient.

'Let's take it slow'

1) Guy doesn't listen, moves faster, girl gets upset breaks up
2) Guy listens, girl meets someone else, guy pushes harder, girl breaks up.

Let's take it slow is about power. She thinks 'I said something a little inflammatory. I want to see how he reacts so I can use it against him.'

I have had it happen so many times.

 

[guru1000]

Trump, I can see how what I wrote could cause knee-jerk reactions in some. After all, how could a "woman," the very gender we invest into not always be direct with her intent. Some here have called woman frauds. I can understand that.

A woman will communicate her true motives and truths if a man is willing to accept her actions as a benchmark of her intent, and not be misguided by her words. He must also understand that the truths inherent in her behavior may not be what he wants so he forges a biased meaning to her words to his benefit.

Similarly, a man with a poor track record with women will also forge realities based on his "truth." Truth is quoted as the truth the man accepts originates from his model of past experiences. If a man has had poor experiences with women, and the woman, despite her concrete high IL, states, "We need to slow it down," the man will take those words and measure it against his previous experiences to conclude the girl has falling IL.

But what happens to a man who has had nothing but positive experiences with women. This man would smile at those words, as he knows the endgame is always the same, which is the girl, buckles before she breaks, and accordingly, she is afraid of the powerful feelings he infuses in her.

Now ... there are objective realities. Perhaps, the girl really wants to slow it down. But to such a girl, this message would be demonstrated in her behavior, not so much her words, at least initially. And to a man who is not observant of her behavior, and thinks "all is well," while pushing forward when he should be retracting, to this man, the overt, "Let's slow things down," arises.

If you really think about it, if a man is reading her behavioral signals, and notices her retraction, and so he retracts further, would she genuinely have a need to "slow it down"? But a man who is oblivious to the behavioral cues and really just "doesn't get it," her covert communication (via behavior) is not coming sinking in, so, then, she must be overt with her intent.

Men get frustrated with women because woman's go-to communication is covert, while we men speak overtly. Men convey intent, and women convey emotion. And the more emotion felt by a woman, the more covert her communication. Contrariwise, the less emotion, the more overt.

Men don't need to be Jedi 007 analysts to understand her intent. Look at her behavior. Therein will always be the message.