let's share ****y&funny lines

[2xp]

i do want to learn c&f jokes, lines, stories that you use or that you may have seen somewhere. i want to use them more, and i figured out this was the best place we could learn about that.

i have one story (not for the most sentisitive of you tough ) :

it 's the story of one HB10 blonde with big tits and nice ass. Her name is Melanie. it's 4 o'clock, she is in bed, nude and she feels horny. She begins to touch herself, the boobs, the pvssy, begins to moan. The mailman, upon hearing this, comes to see what's happening. he takes his c0ck out and fvcks her. Then she remembers she has a date. She has a date with the whole local football team. She goes to the stadium, goes to the showers, and when she sees she' is late, she begins to svck all their d!cks . She tries all positions. She fvsk every damn footballer. She is hotter than ever. That's hot sex for one hour. gets penetrated. inside out. picture every kind of position, she does it. she is so hot she screams and she encourages them and everything. when she finishes, she takes the bus to go back home. well, she doesn't have enough coins and decides to svck the driver's c0ck. then she takes a seat. she sees that the other passenger is "hot", she kisses her and they fvck each other in the bus, and licks each other's pvssy like it never happened before

now it's 7. comes her boyfriend. her boyfriend's name is charles-herni, he is 67, wins 18.000 $ each month and gives her 300$ every single day. upon seeing her, he says he wants to fvck her. but she calmly says no, straight in the eye. she says no, darling, i have a headache and we have already done it last week. then she says again : i know what you think, but i am not like that. there are other things in life than sex. i pity you thinking about sex all the time.




... I hope the mods won't be too sensitive about this and that i won't get banned

one last thing, i haven't ttried it yet on the girls, i suppose i'll do it whenever i have the opportunity. (stressing on the "picture this" and "she is hot" and "she tries ALL position").

 

[2xp]

oops . i wanted to edit and i clicked on quote instead of edit.

another thing, please feel free to add your insights

 

[improvingdonjuan]

There are no C+F stories or jokes, ****y and Funny is a style its something that is improvised to flirt and seem superior.
the best way to explain it is like a "neg hit but being ****y as hell"
its acting like the world thinks you are all.
I cant think of any lines right now cause i do it automatically
here is something i say

" i have seen the way you look at me, so give me your number and if youre lucky i might even take you out on a date"

****y and funny is teasing, poking, playing around with the chicks head. or when they compliment you you can say " yeah i know, cant say the same for you though" with a smile.

neg hit them be ****y (youre gods gift to women),

if you want to learn about it give me examples of what girls say and i could give you things i usually would respond.

 

[Tails]

too long bro. just be C+F, no jokes. C+F is the best thing out there. nice short and funny, leaving them wondering about you always. although it's always an advantage to have natural charm and C+F attitude. it's all about improvising brotha!

for example, few weeks ago. girl two guys in a car, including me (three guys). driver says, put some fuken music on.

i say: "yeah, now we don't have to listen to her ***** all the time."

and of course in a C+F kinda way. but things like that come out naturally. guess it's a gift.

 

[2xp]

There are no C+F stories or jokes, ****y and Funny is a style its something that is improvised to flirt and seem superior.

i do agree that standard definition of C+F is just a style. i do that once in a while. but sometimes when you are chatting some girl, you need to tell something, especially when you have made the first step. she has to decide either she'll put in the friend zone or the hot and ****y man. now, C+F may not be the right words to describe it, but I want to try the "C+F" stories. because it's my best tool. stories are what chicks eat the most from me. so instead of telling cool and funny stories, i might as well put in a ****y one too.

and hey, you cannot neg hit forever, you cannot hit back forever. you have to take your chances and fuel the conversation. that's what jokes and stories are made for. otherwise, if you don't choose that path, you finish talking about your job, then your friends, then she interviews about your timetable, and before you know it, you have become mister nice guy. or am i WRonG ?

 

[NRM]

I think you are wrong. The C+F that everyone refers to on this forum is ****y+Funny and that is an additude and style of how you react to what a girl says in a conversation. Stuff like accusing her of flirting with you or checking you out. The ****iness shows how confident you are about yourself and the funny makes it out so you don't look like a complete jackass. Conversation should be a back and forth thing with the 70/30 ratio, not a story that you tell about a slutty girl that has sex with everybody besides her old rich boyfriend who she uses for money. That is almost guarenteed to turn a girl off.

With C+F you are trying to come off as cool and suave like nothing can hurt you and that no matter what she says, she is no way better than you, and that is enough to keep yourself from her so-called "friendzone."

Yes, you can neg-hit forever, you don't have to give in and start talking nice, just because it's over. That's where the C+F comes in. I don't believe in using jokes and stories to get a girls attention, because eventually, you won't have any more jokes or stories to tell and that ends the relationship. C+F is a style of conversation and flow that will keep her interested in you for a long time without being put on a pedastal. And telling dirty stories is not going to make you look like a hot ****y man.

You shouldn't even have to reveal your whole life and become Mr. Nice Guy. It's about staying mysterious and being more into her than yourself. And slowly, she will find out more about you, through little things. These stories have nothing to do with the relationship and is mere shortlived entertainment for a person, and this in no way reflects the C+F additude since the stories have nothing to do with you besides you telling it.

 

[Jippii]

I don't think that particular joke is a good idea (there wasnt a good element of surprise). I think if you want to use jokes then make them short, unless you're a comedian and really good+funny at telling them.

Here are some jokes from me and my best friends IM convo (yes we love each others mothers) (dont ask) (dont talk about these around girls, just sharing):

Ur moms so bald that I can see what she's thinking.

Ur moms so bald that when she takes a shower she gets brainwashed.

Ur moms so stupid she locked herself in the toilet and pissed herself.

Ur mom is like a bus, shes big she doesnt smell very good and its only a dollar a ride.

Ur moms so fat u use her thong as a hammock.

Ur moms so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call.

These, of course, are pretty juvenile jokes but you are bound to atleast laugh a bit! The thing is that with practice and reading&watching comedy, after some time the jokes or funny comments just start coming in real life situations... (note: don't try too hard to be funny. I'm funnier when I'm not trying to be funny) You can for example watch clips at www.comedycentral.com. Good luck.

 

[1hepcat]

What would this forum do without me??

****y and Funny is to me typically one-liners. I suck at telling stories and getting laughs. But I absolutely kick ass with one-liners. I keep getting better at the C&F one-liners. Example:

A few weeks ago I was hanging out with my girl and her best friend. Her best friend had recently gone through a breakup and was being all silly about "oh I'm never going to find a good guy blah blah." So I said, "I'm sorry I'm dating your best friend or I'd make you the happiest woman on earth tonight." To which she replied, "You're not my type." And then I said, "I'm sorry I'm so tall and good looking." It was great. My girl cracked up. Of course she agrees!

I keep using that one with her now. Last night she started talking about some new guy she met and my girl says to her, "So, what does he look like?" And I jump in with, "Is he tall and good looking like me?" And then grin really big.