"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Let's pimp out my OkCupid profile

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Ace of Flames

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First off, I just wanna say its been a long time since I've been on this site. Good to be back guys!

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Xarias

Ok, so I used to have a more "serious" profile before this one. I wasn't having much luck so I came back to this forum and searched for some recent threads about online dating. I snagged the self-summary part from a post on here and then expanded on it to fill out the other parts. Its been up like this for about a week and I've already had a big turnaround in profile views and replies from my initial messages.

I think it could be better though. I posted in OKC's profile suggestion part of their forums just to see what they'd say, and as expected, its a lot of negativity. A few people did say that they realize what I was going for but I wasn't being bold enough. I figured there isn't anyone more bold in the world then a DJ, so here I am.

Also, I realize I could use better pictures and more of them. Throw me some ideas bros!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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irocknike23

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LMAO@UR PROFILE!!

"im just looking for someone to give me a ride around town"

haha at least you keep it real
 
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iqqi

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I like your profile, I thought it was all very funny, except the Scrabble part was lame.

Too bad you stole all that stuff, I might want to be friends with a funny guy like you.

Your pics REALLY SUCK.

I'm a girl. In case your forgot.
 
A

Ace of Flames

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Just to make it clear, most everything in that profile is false. I have a car, a place to live, etc. The only part I stole was the very first section "My Self-summary", the rest was all made up by me.

Yeah that scrabble thing was all I could think of at the time. I think I came up with something better, unless there's a suggestion? I appreciate the laughs but I was also hoping to improve things.
 
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Iceberg

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Ace of Flames said:
Just to make it clear, most everything in that profile is false. I have a car, a place to live, etc. The only part I stole was the very first section "My Self-summary", the rest was all made up by me.

Yeah that scrabble thing was all I could think of at the time. I think I came up with something better, unless there's a suggestion? I appreciate the laughs but I was also hoping to improve things.
Click to expand...
I think some of what you wrote is pretty damn funny. And I usually hate when people try to be funny (because they're usually unsuccessful), but you're good at it.

Problem is, your whole profile is a long, running joke. Maybe you could segue into some real qualities and interests. Something like "...okay, now that you've witness my amazing humor, here's what I'm REALLY into: backpacking through Europe, steaks - good ones, not bad ones - (I'm lookin at you, salisbury), blah blah blah...

You don't want to come off as some guy who's rehearsing a comedy routine in anticipation of a date with a girl. You're funny. Just add some realness in with the comedy.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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bukowski_merit

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The problem with your profile is that your image (visual) doesn't really match your words.

You come off in your profile as an out-going, crazy, over the top guy.

Your pictures paint a different story. Work clothes = boring. Pale = boring.

Doesn't look like you're having fun in your pictures. You just look reaallllyyy bored.

Just my $.02
 
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R

rum

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Average needs to become Athletic

Funny profile...boring pics
 
A

Ace of Flames

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Thanks for the critiques so far guys.

I agree I need better pictures, but what should they be? Its not like I go parachuting every day or something, I can't really have an awesome picture like that. Give me some more doable ideas for interesting pics. Maybe you guys have examples?
 
R

Rubato

Guest
"im just looking for someone to give me a ride around town"

That is the best :)
 
I

iqqi

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Ace of Flames said:
Thanks for the critiques so far guys.

I agree I need better pictures, but what should they be? Its not like I go parachuting every day or something, I can't really have an awesome picture like that. Give me some more doable ideas for interesting pics. Maybe you guys have examples?
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Doesn't your camera have a self timer?

Get someone to take some pictures of you. It is lame to take pics of yourself, where it is obvious that you are holding the camera.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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