Let's embarrass ourselves. You're WORST opener EVER...

[librito]

once I was drunk and opened two hot chicks that were togueter and told them that I wanted both of their numbers.
as expected, they both rejected me. LOL

 

[BrotherAP]

I was in a dark club, and I see a blonde girl in a white outfit, and she's practically glowing

I walk up to her and say "You scared me" and wait for her to probe. She says "Yeah, I do most chumps" and walks away.

"Bye, casper" I tell say to her back


BrotherAP

 

[dannyc]

This was at a club in the summer. This girl was giving me the eye for a good 10 minutes and i could see it in her eyes it was a 'this guy is hot' eye contact she was giving me. But fuk knows what her problem was when i went up to her.

Me: Hey, whats up?
Her: Fuk off
Me: (To her friend) Tell your friend, shes a slut.

 

[dannyc]

Originally posted by white_hype
I love threads like these so I'll abliege

background: this halloween, I was out of my fvcking mind drunk. A friend had to tell me i did this

me- hey, guess how old I am (wtf?)
her- uh i guess you look abo
me- IM 38 b1tch, I sleep on ice thats why i look so good
me- *walks away
her- *wtf look on face

:crackup: :crackup: Im DEFINITLY using this when im older.

 

[Rogerman]

Originally posted by Dapper Swindler
Me: .....................


See? I didn't say anything. That is the worst approach you could possibly have, to not approach at all. Anything is better than saying nothing. Therefore, that is my worst approach.

Amen.

 

[Triple X]

Well, not really an 'opener' as such but back when I was a sexually-frustrated teen... me and some mates were sitting in the local park when two fairly hot (HB7.5s?) walked past.

We didnt say anything but simply stared at them, our tongues practically hanging out.. and (I cringe as I write this).. our heads basically swivelled round and we just kept staring at them.

After about three seconds one of them turned round and (literally) screamed 'FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK OFFFFFFFF!!!!! WE'VE GOT BOYFRIENDS YOU SAD B*STARDS!!!!'

My face went completely red, and let's just say it didnt do wonders for the old self-confidence.

 

[gongxia649]

grade 12 HS


she was with a bunch of her friends (5)
dont know if this is a bad cold approach...so here it goes


me: hey can i talk to you? (bit nervious and ****)
she walked away with me.
me: i saw you a few times in the library. i have a crush on you (AFC + braveness)
hb: i have a bf
me: i dont care.
hb: blah blah blah. but we can be friends.

then we started to introduced each other and ask questions about ourselves.

me: bye
hb: bye



then i never talked to her again.

 

[Badmannaz]

/\ way to bring this back from the dead/\


outside of check cashing waiting on friend who's inside....

hb8 walks bye

me:hey how you doin?
her:.......................................(kept walking)

made me feel good afterwards dunno why but atleast I tried!!!


another one...HS junior year

"HB8 drunk---senior making out with everybody including the freshmans at the party me being the AFC and non-getting pVssy i go for it

me:hey wassup?
her: hey!!(dancing)
me: let's go in the other room
her: hell no!!

everybody heard it and started laughing
i was embarrassed but hey!!! let the good times roll!!

 

[Tallerguy]

To a HB passing me in the bar

"Hay, I like your dress....... I have curtains in that material at home!"

This is way too strong for a neg and she was only a HB6. She was shooting me evils all night after that and told all of her freinds, fitter friends, what I had said. I just laughed it off!

Tallerguy
"he who hesitates, masturbates"

 

[Mystic]

last night at the bar I said to some girl who was really into me "hey dont you live in snowde ( name of dorm next to mine), hows that working out"

aparently I didnt have it in the bag and that line creeped her out or some **** hah. Oh well I have like 3 more stupid hoes im working on.

 

[DJMaC23]

Ok so I go into a young ladies clothing store in the mall cuz for some reason I think this girl some other girl introduced me to was cute. So anyways I go up to her (shes behind the register) and i'm like "hey whats up remember me?" She says "um yea hi". Anyways I'm like, "So yea you caught my eye the other day and I would like to get your number." I was in the mall with a friend and at this point he goes and pretends to be looking at clothes for his girlfriend. She gives me this look like wtf and she says "I have a boyfriend, it's serious." I'm like, "Ok, you have any friends?" Shes like, "No." I'm like, "Oh I see...you know you have nice eyes, are they real?" She says, "No, they're contacts." I say, "Thought so, peace!"

I laughed all the way out to hte parking lot.

 

[wunnaBsmooth]

Here's one for ya

At a club, found this hb8.5 with really nice tah's.....

Me... Hey! You need any help with those? (Looking at and motioning toward her breasticles) --lol
Me.... I've been working out. You know?

Hb8 ....(Looks at me curiously... Laughs a lot and says...) I have a b/f but if he's too much of a wimp, I'll let you know.....

HB8 finds me later and tells me that was one of the best/most original lines she had every heard! - But she still didn't give me her # or any action....lol


This one is a really really BAD BAD BAD experince.....

Scene: Extremely packed open air concert. Tons of HB's and even more DJ's hanging around...(As is usual)

I Spotted a HB7-8 EC'ing me big time...
So I start to walk toward her, from 15 feet away
Me.... Hhhhh (Was going to say Hi..) --lol
hb..... Wrinkles nose and looks like she's taking a dump..... lol

Me.... takes a hard right hand turn, avoids her completely and soon after leaves with wing.

 

[Magnanimus]

In a club, I clock a girl staring at me like she’s trying to get my attention.

I walk up to her and say 'Hi, Do you fancy me or something?'
Her: 'NO!!!!!' *storms off

That is quite amusing in itself, but it gets better:
Her friend (shaking his head in disbelief) approaches me and tells me that I intimate with her all night the week before and had arranged to meet her again that night! ehehe.. she was gorgeous too! DOH

I’m famed for putting my foot in my mouth. Its all part of the fun though! Off the top of my head, some disasters:

me: Have you farted?
-----
me: Aren’t you a bit old to listen to trance music?
-----
me: *trying to drag drunk girl out of club but having a tug of war with her friends! hehehe.. bad man!
-----
me: Wow! You look like my sister - mmmmm.. incest
---
me: Hi, dont I know you from somewhere? Did I get off with you once before?

But my all-time favourite is from a friend:
*gettin it on in bed with young lady..

Her: mmmm... talk dirty to me!
*long pause
Him: errr..... you filthy *****
*pause
Him: errr........... your c**t stinks!
*The luvin grinds to a halt... both embarrassed as hell. He made his excuses and left.

lol!! still makes me chuckle!!

 

[Malachi]

AHAHAH these are ****ing funny as hell!

of course i would have my own if i wasn't such a p$$$y and can't approach for sh$t.

 

[handle]

"Did you just mention rape?"

 

[FitmanFromCgy]

Originally posted by Gonzalo
Here's a quick one:

Me: Hi.
Her: No.


I got pretty good at recognizing b1tches after that.

hahahahhaah

good one


Sounds like that chick never got a xmass present in her life and her mom used to cook durgs in the chicken, while her stepdad was banging her sister in... ok thats enough

 

[neonlandmine]

Originally posted by SuPaF1y
me: hey whatsup?
her: not to much who are you
me: Rob who are you?
her: jamie and your breath stinks

me: so what is it you find so attractive about guys with stinky breath?

 

[neonlandmine]

Originally posted by ER!C L!VE
The Scene: Double Date - Me with Blind Date at dinner.

HBhairdresser: Blah blah blah me me me
E!L!: *cutting her off mid-sentence* You look just like my sister.
HBhairdresser: That's like the 3rd time I've heard that this week.
My Buddy: stares at me in shock.
My Buddy's chick: stares at me in shock.


After dinner we hit the club and HBhairdresser mysteriously disappears into crowd and avoids me for the rest of the night.

me:yeah, that was pretty bad. I don't even have a sister. So what's the worst line you've ever heard(besides that one)?

 

[Bible_Belt]

The hot ones always think they are being hit on. I was in a group at school orientation with about ten people, we were talking about our hobbies, and the HB9 who is the hottest girl there mentioned that she has a dog. I had just gotten a German Shepherd, and I had that on my mind, so I asked her in front of the group, "What kind of dog do you have?"
She replied,"A weiner-dog... and a husband." The last part was just vicious.

 

[Bonhomme]

Originally posted by Dapper Swindler
Me: .....................

Anything is better than saying nothing. Therefore, that is my worst approach.

Wrong.

If you smile at a gal and she gives you a "who the fvck are you?" look, saying nothing is better than saying anything... but you might roll your eyes before you ignore her.

Approaching is way overrated. Knowing when to approach -- or how to get women to approach you is way underrated.