Let's embarrass ourselves. You're WORST opener EVER...

[white_hype]

I love threads like these so I'll abliege

background: this halloween, I was out of my fvcking mind drunk. A friend had to tell me i did this

me- hey, guess how old I am (wtf?)
her- uh i guess you look abo
me- IM 38 b1tch, I sleep on ice thats why i look so good
me- *walks away
her- *wtf look on face

(I read a good line that goes like this:
her-how old are you
me- 38 but I sleep on ice
her-hahah... I compeltely bucthered this! lol)

 

[white_hype]

haha just thought of some other good ones

*cold approach 4 girls in a circle talking... seems like they are in deep convo and really interested... perfect time to appraoch I say (lol)

me- hey guys
girls- hi..
me- you guys having fun
girls - yep... *slowly close me off from the circle
me-alrighty then
*walks away

hhahahha it doesn't get much worse than that folks and I love it b/c I don't give a sh1t

another which was more of a FU in middle of convo-

2 mins into opener (i forget opener) this HB9.5 (had natural dd's and was SKINNY, gorgeous face, HOT HOT HOT), was pretty into it starts going off on some boring ass story (i forget what, i was pretty drunk)

me- hmm I don't want to hear it *smile
her- wtf?
me- yea what else?
her - *walks away

I have no fvcking clue what I was thinking. After that happened and I just realised what I did I was like "wow you are a fvcking retard" unbelievable. I have fvcked up so many chances with girls its not even funny... like i get them really liking me then I completely blow it (old me, new me is getting better lol)

 

[Swoop]

Originally posted by Gonzalo
Here's a quick one:

Me: Hi.
Her: No.


I got pretty good at recognizing b1tches after that.

Did that actually happened? :crackup:

 

[In2theGame]

Gonzo,

HI
NO

LOL! :crackup:
Girls can be such! B******S

 

[flu]

Originally posted by white_hype
me- hey, guess how old I am (wtf?)
her- uh i guess you look abo
me- IM 38 b1tch, I sleep on ice thats why i look so good
me- *walks away
her- *wtf look on face

Bwahahahahah :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Holy ****, I almost choked on my oatmeal reading that. Funniest thing I've read this month.

 

[thederekeffect1]

Originally posted by Gonzalo
Here's a quick one:

Me: Hi.
Her: No.


I got pretty good at recognizing b1tches after that.

You win.

 

[wanga]

8 Set..

<me> hey guys, I need to ask you a question?
<them> what?
<me> does milk make you fart?
*insert obligatory laughing here*

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by JC Jerkson
HAHA OMG wayyyy too many to remember. I'll just post a recent one.


This was just a few days ago. Me and my friend/wing were outside school chillin. I walked over to this girl who was on her phone and:

JC Jerkson: Hey. I just wanted to say you're cute.
HB6: Hehe oh thanks.
JC Jerkson: Yeah. What are you doin' later?
HB6: Oh I'm on the phone with my boyfriend.
JC Jerkson: OH REALLY?!

.....And then all of a sudden I do this fvcking hilarious spazzy dance for her!! Then I walked away nearly falling down from laughing so hard. LOLOLOL!!! Mike you gotta confirm this. It was funny as shyt.


JC Jerkson

Hahahh, I just got a mental image of you doing the whole Daffy Duck "WOOHOO WOOHOO!" thing after pissing off Elmer Fudd.

 

[immrtlwun]

I've got one that wasn't intended to pick her up, my friend sjust dared me to try a lame pick-up line on her.

ME- If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
HER- (laughing)- No. and then she walked away

I thought it might have worked when she started laughing, but I was wrong.

 

[ak5]

me: you have a nice ass, im touching it.

 

[mroriginal]

Me: Hi do you have a boyfriend?
Her: No
Me: want one?

I mumbled the **** out of it too and I was sweating like a ***** in church but thinking about it now makes me crack the hell up! My first cold approach at 12 years old!

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[DJ_in_making]

Wow, I read about all of them. Funny crap. Why these girls seem unnecessarily though, even for HB's. Why'd you treat anyone like that?


I have one that isn't real but I've dreamed it happening a of it happening.....

Me: Lovely weather we're having to......

her: IF I WANTED DlCK! I WOULD'VE LET YOU KNOW!!!!!

 

[almost perfect]

i think a lot of it has to do with perceived confidence levels. if she thinks you're a chump she **** tests you (like the guy who just said hi) if he said something witty/funny after she said no, he would have been in pretty easily.

you live and learn. if it wasnt for rejection,i wouldn't get any better.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Me: Hi
Her: Hello
Me: LET'S HAVE TEH BABIES!!!11

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Me: .....................


See? I didn't say anything. That is the worst approach you could possibly have, to not approach at all. Anything is better than saying nothing. Therefore, that is my worst approach.

 

[Gonzalo]

Originally posted by Swoop
Did that actually happened? :crackup:

That sh1t did happen. Peruvian girls, you gotta love em. Good to see everybody posting this stuff, it's the stuff that either makes you or breaks you. If it makes you, then you break them

G

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by flu
Bwahahahahah :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Holy ****, I almost choked on my oatmeal reading that. Funniest thing I've read this month.

lol the funny thing is i just turned 21 and look like im 18-19... girls ALWAYS think im younger than what i say i am

 

[dereklearnslow]

When I worked as a cashier at Petco, I was ringing up this smokingly hot blonde's stuff, not building rapport or anything, but smiling a lot, like a doofus. After I'm done, she starts to leave and I say..

Me: Hey! (she turns around looking confused)
Me: Would you....um....like to go for coffee sometime??? Or something?

Her: Ha. Goodbye.

She said it in a real nice way though...

The female grooming manager saw all of this and almost died laughing. She then told me:

"In a world full of rhythm, you ain't got no beat!"

Now that hurt.

 

[Leuven]

Too much to mention and most situations I forgot.

When I read the bible 6 months ago I read many situations that I did ( In the section "what not to do afc" )

Some situations.

1) Blind date. I saw that chick and she was really ugly hb2 to the most so I decided just to drink one and then go away. She asked me if I liked the date. I was 18 and pollitely answered " yeah it isn't that bad" She responds by saying that I was her worst date ever and that she could get much better ( oké, I'm not very good looking, but knows that I'm standing way above her in looks )
I didn't knew how to respond and left.

2) At a pub.
me : Hi, my name is ...
she : Good for you ( turns her back )
me : So, what's your name.
she : didn't respond anymore

===> I should have known it after the first sentence ...

3) A girl at a bar

me : Hi, you got a lovely shirt ( It was really so )
she : whow, you are so original, did you come up with it all by yourself or have you heared saying it the previous 20 guys?
me : All by myself, pretty impressive don't you think
she : ( she was like OOh my gosh what a loser ) yes, I'm impressed, can I have a signature
me : oke, no problem, do I put it on a paper or would you like it somewhere else?
she : You still don't get it. I don't want anything to do with you
me : So why are you still trying?
she : Totally pissed of runs away


Sincerely

 

[Modro]

someone introduced a friend...


...Hi this is HB

Modro; Hi i was on TV last night....'

Her: right... (puzzled)

I was flat out like ummm.. in my head before i just turned around lol.

it was meant to go

REALLY?!?!

no...