"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Let it burn??

Porky

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Originally posted by Bunk 040
Pissy are we? Ay pimp, I don't know how long you been here but this site here aint for flaming.
Oh yeah, he's real angry. Sad part is, he's more man than you are and a helluva lot less annoying too. Lik is the last person you should be arguing with on this board.

Originally posted by NRM
What kinda wimp are you? Oh, according to your profile you're only 15. You can't even legally drive, so the phone is probably the most contact you'll get from a girl that isn't the internet and isn't your mommy dropping you off at the theaters.
Too easy...oh what the hell, I'll do it for Lik.

SHUT THE FVCK UP YOU NAIVE IDIOT.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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LikRetsam

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NRM, I have trouble respecting people's opinions when they sound like they read something somewhere and didn't even question it and are just spitting it out. If infact, that is what you sincerely feel and believe, than that is your right and I respect you. But the way you came off was that there was no other way. No harm meant.

JSH, I am very arrogant. Very. I honestly believe it is justified arrogance but recently (yesterday night) I decided to kill the arrogance. To learn a little humility. Gonna post bout it.

Lik
 

PiHiPlaya

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I agree with Porky and Lik on this one.

As for Solja, Next time you get the chance... Sit her ass down in person. Talk to her, find out if she's allowed to have a boyfriend, if she isn't when she's allowed to. Based on the answers she gives, figure out whether or not you should still be together, or take a break and just be mutual friends with benefits. Cuz moms can't get pissed off with friends with benefits;)
 

Supero Masculus

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It's amazing how a simple post explodes into a huge full-blown argument between to or more people. All i can say is that we all have to stop flaming others opinions so much. NRM could have a different unspoken factor to this argument. And Lik thinks in a completely different stream of thought. There are many types of people around and i am more like Lik in the way i find it enjoyable to spend a little time on the phone with a chick, just not my life on the phone. The explanation for this thinking comes from a past relationship in where i couldn't see my GF all the time. So i called and we talked and so on. We called alot, most of the time her though. But many times i was busy. She respected that and it did make my time a little more valuable to her. To add to the benefits i had with this is when i actually got to see her, we could cut the, "lets get to know each other better" conversation and actually get some fun shyt going. The point here is that for every relationship the factors and variables are so diverse that you can simply put rules to them and follow 'em.

As for the meaning of this thread, i say find out the truth with this chick. She will tell you if / when, she is ready to. Or on the flip side you can dump and move on. The choice is yours.

Well....Uhhh...Yup, thats all i got.

JUST GO WITH IT
 

NRM

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Anything I post is my own opinion. No matter what way I come out and say it. Just as in Lit when you stop using "I think"'s and just spit out your statement without showing doubt. And that is how I truely believe something when I state it. I don't show any doubt about what I believe. You came on a little strong telling me to shut the fuck up, I don't know anything about anything. But yes, what I do and say is based on my experiences and what I believe to be true. No one has to follow any guides from anyone online, but what I do has worked for me and the people around here are asking for help on experiences. I had reasoning behind everything I say just as backup, but it does come with experience with what I have done. I really never meant anything by it, I just left self-doubt behind a long time ago. I leave the doubting to other people.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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JSH

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Originally posted by LikRetsam

JSH, I am very arrogant. Very. I honestly believe it is justified arrogance but recently (yesterday night) I decided to kill the arrogance. To learn a little humility. Gonna post bout it.

Lik
the definition of arrogance is that it is unjustified, confidence is justified, arrogance is boasting. There is nothing wrong with a little arrogance, but not so much that it puts people off. (not my opinion - but we have all picked up on this judao-christian idea of humility). I was once the same, but i had to kill it as it was basically ***** shields, which is not very nice.

Originally posted by Alexis


JSH, the american term "exclusive" means to stop dating around. When a relationship becomes exclusive it means that the people involved in it are oficially boyfriend and grilfriend. As such, they canot date any other people and much less have any sexual contact with other than their partner.

What it all boils down to: Is that you can't mess around when you become exclusive. You cannot have a purely sexual relationship with other people rather than your exclsusive partner.

Was that you question?

Alexis Zorba


Its just a different way of approaching things, i understand generally what it means, but surely at high school level people tend not to be dating around. It defined exclusive a lot better than i understood previosuly, so basically it means you are in a relationship. I just think its such a quaint thing to do. "Will you become exclsuive with me", kinda AFC remincenses.
 

Solja J

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Well we have not talked since last Friday now. This other girl wants to talk to me, but I don't have it in me to play girls. I don't know whether this relationship between her and I is over just yet. Also I can't call her house and find out.
 

Da Game

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This sounds like waaaaaaaaaaaaay more trouble than it's worth. Seriously... Why try to date someone whose mom will constantly get in the way? You'll probably spend more time sneaking around than actually hanging out with her. There are enough girls out there that you shouldn't bother with this one.

The best way to deal with this is to make her do ALL the work. If she really wants to date you, she can figure out a way for you to get together and avoid her mom. Her mom, her problem, she deals with it. If she can't, it's probably not worth it.

Another suggestion: why not talk to her on IM? The girl I'm currently dating I've set up nearly all the dates via AIM... I think I've called her once in the last 2 months.

I like instant messenger because I don't have the attention span for phone conversations, so I can do other things while I'm chatting. I think my current circumstances are special in this regard, and I don't recommend AIM in most cases... But when you can't talk on the phone or don't feel like it, it's pretty nice.

A few random responses:

1. 15 year olds don't know sh!t. When I was 15, I thought I was smart too... But I wasn't. I'm almost 18 now, and I still don't know sh!t... But I know a lot more than when I was 15. With age comes experience. Respect that.

2. Long phone conversations are bad. I know this both from theory and personal experience... Very rarely will anything good come of talking on the phone for a long time, except in a few very specific circumstances, which are so rare I can't even think of them right now.
 

Solja J

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You'll probably spend more time sneaking around than actually hanging out with her. There are enough girls out there that you shouldn't bother with this one. It's probably not worth it.
--True
 

JSH

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btw a wrong and a right equals a wrong ;)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Solja J

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Is it safe to say that the relationship is over? It's going on two weeks and she have not called or anything!? It may seem like I got the oneitis, but I hate mysteries.
 

Solja J

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Solja J

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Anyone thinks otherwise?
 

Spoiled3289

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Originally posted by Ballistik
You don't want the relationship because she'd be lying to her mom?! Why don't you pull on a sweater vest, play an Enya CD, and start looking at wallpaper samples for your room? For Christ's sake, man....
HAHAHA sorry but he said it perfectly.
 

Solja J

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Yes, and if her mom found out we would not be able to communicate at all like right now. I don't know what happened or anything like that. I just know that the relationship is over. Her mom probably banned her from the phone. Plus I can't go toher house and see her because her mom is there!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Solja J

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So what you say to that *Spoiled*?
 
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