Let her explain or no?

[Andromax]

Well things went south with a girl I've been seeing for about 3 months. She is 21, so I naturally didn't let myself get too attached.

She is really religious, and on the first couple dates when I was escalating she explained to me that she can't have sex, though she's not a virgin.

Well my thoughts were she is just playing hard to get, whatever, I'll keep trying.

On about our 4th or 5th date I hit it, the next day she is like we can't be having sex blah blah blah.. I almost dumped her right then cause she was making me feel like ****, even though she was really into it the previous evening.

She is really cool, super affectionate, extremely caring, beautiful, treats me very well for the most part etc, and incidentally gives extremely good head which apparently is not on her "inspiring the wrath of god" list. So its Kosher..

So I keep seeing her. A week goes by, we have sex again, and again. Mind you she is practically begging for it in the heat of the moment.

This girls IL in my is extremely high on friday. I don't talk to her till sunday when I get a text from her. "I think we should talk im at xxxxx come join me"
Well im getting drunk at a party when I get this msg so i just ignore it for the time being since I can't go anywhere anyways.

I call her monday afternoon, "whats up?"

"oh hey nothing... I can't do this anymore.."

"..Okay then."

"You should come over, and I'll explain."

"Nah its cool, no need."

Then I deleted her # out of my phone.

Would it have been better to at least let her explain?

Is my attitude working against me?

Anyways, I'm not that upset really. Interestingly though the last 2 women I've dated since returning from deployment in Oct ended up dumping me.

I think that perhaps that environment made my dating skills a little rusty.

I think I overcompensate the anti-afc with too much dont-give-a-shit, and the women either get bored or disinterested.

Oh well, I have a couple prospects lined up.

 

[wjh]

I hate the religion excuse... God I hate it.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Some girls just have no idea what they want. I might of stayed around to here what she had to say. But, I think you made the right choice!

 

[KontrollerX]

No you didn't do the wrong thing.

You made a mature decision.

A DJ decision.

Still though since she let you hit it before you could let her give you all that jive about why she can't do this for god blah blah blah but then hang out with her and get her horny and see if you can hit it again.

If she holds to her word then next her for good.

I say give her another try if you want because she certainly didn't just discover how to give you great sex and suck a mean c0ck with you.

She's had plenty of teachers quite clearly and I think is only giving you this garbage about her god stuff because she feels guilty she let the big man and JC down.

 

[Infamous J]

No you didn't do the wrong thing.

You made a mature decision.

A DJ decision.

Exactly. When I read that all you said was "no need", my first thought was very cool, very smooth. It might be a bit tough since it sounds like you were into her, but you did the right thing.

If she comes back, cool, if not, you know the drill...

 

[AfRoSwiss-Disiac]

Well things went south with a girl I've been seeing for about 3 months. She is 21, so I naturally didn't let myself get too attached.

She is really religious, and on the first couple dates when I was escalating she explained to me that she can't have sex, though she's not a virgin.

Well my thoughts were she is just playing hard to get, whatever, I'll keep trying.

On about our 4th or 5th date I hit it, the next day she is like we can't be having sex blah blah blah.. I almost dumped her right then cause she was making me feel like ****, even though she was really into it the previous evening.

She is really cool, super affectionate, extremely caring, beautiful, treats me very well for the most part etc, and incidentally gives extremely good head which apparently is not on her "inspiring the wrath of god" list. So its Kosher..

So I keep seeing her. A week goes by, we have sex again, and again. Mind you she is practically begging for it in the heat of the moment.

This girls IL in my is extremely high on friday. I don't talk to her till sunday when I get a text from her. "I think we should talk im at xxxxx come join me"
Well im getting drunk at a party when I get this msg so i just ignore it for the time being since I can't go anywhere anyways.

I call her monday afternoon, "whats up?"

"oh hey nothing... I can't do this anymore.."

"..Okay then."

"You should come over, and I'll explain."

"Nah its cool, no need."

Then I deleted her # out of my phone.

Would it have been better to at least let her explain?

Is my attitude working against me?

Anyways, I'm not that upset really. Interestingly though the last 2 women I've dated since returning from deployment in Oct ended up dumping me.

I think that perhaps that environment made my dating skills a little rusty.

I think I overcompensate the anti-afc with too much dont-give-a-shit, and the women either get bored or disinterested.

Oh well, I have a couple prospects lined up.

yea man u really got her when u said no need! she sounds like shed be to much work anywase and 5 points on u for deleting ehr number way to move on bro

 

[MacAvoy]

Bravo, you played this perfectly bro. Like others, I LOVE your "nah its cool, no need" line, it was awesome. Now you've got her sitting around pining, what is he doing, how come he isn't giving me attention, how come he doesn't want me. I'll bet she starts contacting you, asking how your doing etc... either avoid her calls but if you do decide to take it, then just say Everything is going great, but whats up? If she says oh nothing, just calling to check what your doing or something along those lines, or no matter what she says ... reply well I'm busy I gotta run, this will get her even more wondering.

The only reason you should have a conversation with this women now is to set up a fvck session. Thats all she will ever amount to. Don't ever forget that. You played this perfectly, you maintained your self respect and were truly Duan Juan about it. Congrats and happy sarging.

 

[ezily]

did she want to break up with you? If so then I think you did the right thing. But it all depends on what you want. If you're just interested in sex and meeting new women then that's awesome. You played your cards perfectly. Don't be surprised if she tries to get in touch with you again.

However, if you want a gf or something more then maybe talking to her wouldn't be that bad of an idea. Just don't let her start to take the high road and try to have power over you. Though, from the sounds of it that's not what you wanted from her. It's awesome the way you kinda told her off. It would work perfectly with some flakey arrogant *****. But since she seemed kinda naive and religious I almost feel sorry for her.

 

[DonJuan11]

Well things went south with a girl I've been seeing for about 3 months. She is 21, so I naturally didn't let myself get too attached.

She is really religious, and on the first couple dates when I was escalating she explained to me that she can't have sex, though she's not a virgin.

LOL. She is not that religious.


On about our 4th or 5th date I hit it, the next day she is like we can't be having sex blah blah blah.. I almost dumped her right then cause she was making me feel like ****, even though she was really into it the previous evening.

So I keep seeing her. A week goes by, we have sex again, and again. Mind you she is practically begging for it in the heat of the moment.

This girls IL in my is extremely high on friday. I don't talk to her till sunday when I get a text from her. "I think we should talk im at xxxxx come join me"
Well im getting drunk at a party when I get this msg so i just ignore it for the time being since I can't go anywhere anyways.

I call her monday afternoon, "whats up?"

"oh hey nothing... I can't do this anymore.."

"..Okay then."

"You should come over, and I'll explain."

"Nah its cool, no need."

Then I deleted her # out of my phone.

Would it have been better to at least let her explain?

Is my attitude working against me?

Anyways, I'm not that upset really. Interestingly though the last 2 women I've dated since returning from deployment in Oct ended up dumping me.

I think that perhaps that environment made my dating skills a little rusty.

I think I overcompensate the anti-afc with too much dont-give-a-shit, and the women either get bored or disinterested.

It sounds like you are a little harsh. A girl sends you text after she lets you inside her and you don't respond until the next day? She might have felt like a prostitute.

 

[ezily]

I agree ^^^. Sometimes when being a DJ we can forget about the girl's feelings. Sure we get screwed more times then they do but since this girl didn't seem like some arrogant b*tch then maybe you were a little harsh. I mean she seemed to really like you and did have sex with you. I think there's a time to be a DJ and a time to be human (without seeming like a wuss of course). In this case maybe she felt bad about herself and just wanted to talk about what was happening with the relationship. She might not have wanted to break up.

 

[Andromax]

time to be a DJ and a time to be human (without seeming like a wuss of course). In this case maybe she felt bad about herself and just wanted to talk about what was happening with the relationship. She might not have wanted to break up.

Yeah, I know. I'm sure I could have talked her out of it. But I would have had to concede the sex, and to be honest who wants to have a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same things? She is a good girl. She will be a terrific LTR candidate for someone else in a few years when she figures out what she wants.

I didn't want to talk to her about my feelings, I didn't want to sit there and get all emotional as she told me the relationship wasn't working out for her, when it had the ingredients for a completely healthy relationship.

In all honesty, I wasn't super crazy about her. I'm sure you've all been there.

In the future I will be a little more "compassionate."

A girl sends you text after she lets you inside her and you don't respond until the next day? She might have felt like a prostitute.

Okay firstly, Yes she is religious. Very religious, her father is the pastor at her church. (yeah ouch) And secondly, I don't care what you've done for me, if I receive a text from someone I am not subject to a timer in terms of returning it. I was drunk. I don't like TXTing when I'm drunk for many reasons. Especially to girls with whom I am romantically involved.

It's silly to think she would be offended by a text returned the next day.. Thats actually fairly prompt, imo for a person who doesn't live on their celly.

 

[Ultimate Player]

It sounds like you are a little harsh. A girl sends you text after she lets you inside her and you don't respond until the next day? She might have felt like a prostitute.

can we please remember that this guy is a virgin in his 20s and has NO idea how to deal with women.........yet he gives advice, a total absolute chump

YOU original poster did the absolute right thing, its just a bytch, she wants to give you shyt, then dismiss her - only deal with girls who DONT give you shyt

 

[DonJuan11]

Okay firstly, Yes she is religious. Very religious, her father is the pastor at her church. (yeah ouch)

No she's not, you've had sex 10 times with her and she wasn't a virgin before you slept with her. That's not religious.

And secondly, I don't care what you've done for me, if I receive a text from someone I am not subject to a timer in terms of returning it. I was drunk. I don't like TXTing when I'm drunk for many reasons. Especially to girls with whom I am romantically involved.

Depends on your relationship with the girl. If it's your f-buddy, then you don't. If it's your gf, then you probably should.

It's silly to think she would be offended by a text returned the next day.. Thats actually fairly prompt, imo for a person who doesn't live on their celly.

Again depends on your relationship with the girl. Sounds like this one was just an f-buddy for you though.

If you didn't want a relationship with her so there was point texting her right away, but if she thought she was your gf, then it probably pissed her off.

 

[Ultimate Player]

If you didn't want a relationship with her so there was point texting her right away, but if she thought she was your gf, then it probably pissed her off.

STOP GIVING ADVICE

its not your place, you have no idea how to succeed with women, so stop giving ****ing advice!! i will call u out every time i see your virgin azz try to post advice to people who actually need it

you have had ZERO pvssy in your life and have NO RIGHT to post advice to others

you better quit this site because its not like you apply its teaching to your own live anyway, you goddamn fool!

 

[Andromax]

haha oh my god..

I would write a response but I don't think there is a point.

I take it he's pissed you off before U P?

 

[Ultimate Player]

haha oh my god..

I would write a response but I don't think there is a point.

I take it he's pissed you off before U P?

you can write a response, and see what happens

and then u can learn from it

thats really the best formula


DonJuan11 only pisses me off for the facts that i already stated above

 

[MacAvoy]

Andro, don't second guess yourself, you played it right, she only wanted the upper hand in the breakup why she wanted to get together with you. UP is right, DonnJuan11 and Ezily are bein chumps on this, just because you slept with a women, doesn't mean you owe her the world.

You treated her with respect and dignity, its not like you were a d1ck or anything, don't let them tell you otherwise, you were a man and upfront, great job.

 

[DonJuan11]

can we please remember that this guy is a virgin in his 20s and has NO idea how to deal with women.........yet he gives advice, a total absolute chump

YOU original poster did the absolute right thing, its just a bytch, she wants to give you shyt, then dismiss her - only deal with girls who DONT give you shyt

Your confidence must be pretty low when you have to put other people down just to bring yourself up. I'm offering some insight that he should take with a grain of salt, just like every other person seeking advice on here.

She wasn't a bvtch and didn't give him any problems. She just said "Can you come over so we can talk?" If that's being a bvtch and you think he should tell her to go to hell because of that, then I think we've crossed the line between being a DJ and being a jerk