"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Lessons learned in the Field

rjaudenes

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2004
Messages
45
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0
Age
48
Location
Brazil, São Paulo
Hello people,


Since im here from a month i learned a lot about my mistakes (see the article "This a hard one" - Mature Man), in fact the Nice Guy way is not good, but i'd like to share how i discovered that:

1. When you are a nice guy you are worried about conquer the woman and grant to her the best feelings, conversations, etc., and you forgot YOUR best conversations, your feelings. All of this process "hide" your true character, your confidence...

2. But i thought "Hey man, im a Nice Guy because im desperate. How kill this desperation? Well, Pook said this often hapens when im focus girl in my life...so don't let focus girl in my life:

2.1 Don't call here every day - Ok, at the beggining is difficult, but worked, this show me the "every day call" makes the woman think: "This guy don´t have a life? or I need time to do my things and see if im interested in him, but he call me every day!"

2.2 Interest Test - Now, when i got a date and the girl show signals of "no interesting" i forgot here and go to next one (i realize this is the fast mode to you find a girl is interested in you)

2.3 Damn! The desperate (or focus woman), like a demon, has hurry up to the dates, when i was worried about talking about her interestings (even if the conversation is boring), Damn! Im the prize too! So i forgot all the dating books rules and let my natural in the dates (talking conversations I like too - in this way i felt my peronality growing up), Man, the difference is high! I kissed all girls in my last 4 dates, but the desperate (the demon), runs to the other side again... :confused:

3. Periods between dates - This is the trully hard one! This is the test for the guys who want's to learn to get out the "focus woman in life". In fact, you can hold and don't call the woman every day - easy now, but if you are building thoughts and situations about here (after the first date), man, you are buiding an "atomic desperate bomb" that will explode as soon you see here in the next date, (The nice guy will be back!) So i got a rule that works with me: Don't buid any thought about here, just concentrate in your job, study, gimm, etc., Yes! that's worked with me! Im feeling the lord of my life, not a girl who i got only ONE date! (That's one of the true meaning about take passion about the life) - In the other way i realize, if i buid thoughts about she every day will do any difference? No! so why im doing this???

I know i have a long way, but im feel happy with the great ideas from this site. I realize the fight is Me against Me, the enemy is my ANXIETY and the best weapons are the ideas from this site.


Thanks
Rafael, from Brazil
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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