ive made a few threads about this one girl. we have been in an on/off long distance relationship..first two months were freaking awesome and after that its been worse-awesome-good-bad-worse-good-normal-awesomest-like hell-good-bad and so the pattern goes.
i was on no contact with her though was cordial. i knew it was not gonna work and end was inevitable as im not going to stay in country and shez gonna marry to whatever person her parents choose. yet the last time we decided to end thing we were very much in love. whenever i thought of her it brought all our good memories to my mind inspite of all the problems.
today she broke the silence and contacted me being very nice and all. she is in other town so we decided to video chat after 20 days of no contact. it was going well..slight flirting. she hadnt accepted my facebook request earlier so she said ill add you today.i was ok with it. i opened her facebook and sneaky lil bastard that im searched for her ex's name. and he was there. i went freaking crazy coz she had promised me that she'd never normalise relations with him ever due to the way he treated her and yet he was on her facebook friends. he is in the same college as well. this was a deal breaker as far as im concerned. if the person i love considers it ok to be normal with someone they have slept with then it just cant work. now im being hypocrite here coz i too went out with my high school ex a few times for movies however she doesnt know about it.
i told her i was going for a smoke to clear my head and she should call me when her cousin leaves(she was on her cousins computer)..she asked whats wrong..i replied why dont you tell me. so she got the point and asked if it was coz she added her ex on fb. when i confronted her about this she said its nothing and that he added her and she just accepted. i accused her of breaking contact with me and then adding her ex back and talking with him. she said she didnt talk to him and that things arent normal between them. she is not angry with him thats it. and she is sorry and dint mean to hurt me and blah blah blah
she then said that she dint expect me to react this way and that she has added me back as well and if i was gonna react like this if tommorow someone else enters my life. i told her to stop with the stupid argument as we both know we are not over each other. she said her family is looking someone for her in a year. i told her thats bull****. 2-3 weeks back we said we loved each other and our bond even though it was to end was special and now you pretend like we're friends. and i also ranted about how the hell she could compare our relationship with what she had with him(ours is going on for year while they were together for 2 months and clearly we were more close even after the few breaks we took.)
as of now she has just said brb cousin here.
ive cried cried my guts out and am ashamed of myself for becoming so serious and emotionally attached to her, for screwing up my studies, for messing with my health with cigarretes over this slut. but ive learnt an important lesson from this. no matter how many memories you've created, no matter how much love and care you give no matter how many head games and ganji games you play at the end it doesnt matter. to this very moment before i found out she was being all normal with me, flirting, asking me about my life and so on at 1 AM.
I might over reacting but this is a clear red line for me. she clearly said when we started going out that she'd never contact her ex and she hates him and so on. she never added him contacted him or anything till now. her college ended yesterday and today she has him on her friend list. If you say something you stick to your world. When you dont do that how can anyone trust you. if she contacts or allows someone to contact who she slept with then its a deal breaker and as bad as cheating.
I dont want anyone else to go through what Im feeling right now. Earlier whenever we used to breakup I knew she'd contact me again. This time no matter what she does it just wouldnt be the same. And never an emotionally unstable girl. Ive made this mistake and suffered enough coz of it.
Sorry for the long post
i was on no contact with her though was cordial. i knew it was not gonna work and end was inevitable as im not going to stay in country and shez gonna marry to whatever person her parents choose. yet the last time we decided to end thing we were very much in love. whenever i thought of her it brought all our good memories to my mind inspite of all the problems.
today she broke the silence and contacted me being very nice and all. she is in other town so we decided to video chat after 20 days of no contact. it was going well..slight flirting. she hadnt accepted my facebook request earlier so she said ill add you today.i was ok with it. i opened her facebook and sneaky lil bastard that im searched for her ex's name. and he was there. i went freaking crazy coz she had promised me that she'd never normalise relations with him ever due to the way he treated her and yet he was on her facebook friends. he is in the same college as well. this was a deal breaker as far as im concerned. if the person i love considers it ok to be normal with someone they have slept with then it just cant work. now im being hypocrite here coz i too went out with my high school ex a few times for movies however she doesnt know about it.
i told her i was going for a smoke to clear my head and she should call me when her cousin leaves(she was on her cousins computer)..she asked whats wrong..i replied why dont you tell me. so she got the point and asked if it was coz she added her ex on fb. when i confronted her about this she said its nothing and that he added her and she just accepted. i accused her of breaking contact with me and then adding her ex back and talking with him. she said she didnt talk to him and that things arent normal between them. she is not angry with him thats it. and she is sorry and dint mean to hurt me and blah blah blah
she then said that she dint expect me to react this way and that she has added me back as well and if i was gonna react like this if tommorow someone else enters my life. i told her to stop with the stupid argument as we both know we are not over each other. she said her family is looking someone for her in a year. i told her thats bull****. 2-3 weeks back we said we loved each other and our bond even though it was to end was special and now you pretend like we're friends. and i also ranted about how the hell she could compare our relationship with what she had with him(ours is going on for year while they were together for 2 months and clearly we were more close even after the few breaks we took.)
as of now she has just said brb cousin here.
ive cried cried my guts out and am ashamed of myself for becoming so serious and emotionally attached to her, for screwing up my studies, for messing with my health with cigarretes over this slut. but ive learnt an important lesson from this. no matter how many memories you've created, no matter how much love and care you give no matter how many head games and ganji games you play at the end it doesnt matter. to this very moment before i found out she was being all normal with me, flirting, asking me about my life and so on at 1 AM.
I might over reacting but this is a clear red line for me. she clearly said when we started going out that she'd never contact her ex and she hates him and so on. she never added him contacted him or anything till now. her college ended yesterday and today she has him on her friend list. If you say something you stick to your world. When you dont do that how can anyone trust you. if she contacts or allows someone to contact who she slept with then its a deal breaker and as bad as cheating.
I dont want anyone else to go through what Im feeling right now. Earlier whenever we used to breakup I knew she'd contact me again. This time no matter what she does it just wouldnt be the same. And never an emotionally unstable girl. Ive made this mistake and suffered enough coz of it.
Sorry for the long post